our saturday

Yesterday we went to Holly Springs to celebrate Katie's youngest daughter, Quinn's, second birthday. She may just be the cutest (female) two year old in history. She is so laid back and super sweet and got so excited about every present (like fake hyperventilating). I just loved watching her. She has such a sweet spirit, and I have to say, I wouldn't be mad if she ends up being my future daughter-in-law. 


(But for that to happen her future husband is going to have to get over his bad-birthday-attitude blues and learn to share. No nap did not work in his favor yesterday.)

Well, we're off to church. I would have been more than happy for Jesus to have come back yesterday, but since he didn't (shocker), that means He is still has work for us to do. Hope you enjoy your beautiful Sunday and find a way to love on others.

**And if you can't think of anything, I know of two little boys who could use your  $5.00.** :)

what a day

Wow, what a day, huh? So much to think about, so many mixed emotions. Once again, I get discouraged with the hate and negativity that come out in times like these... hate towards other humans (bin Laden, folks we disagree with, our government). Hate towards our President, you know the one we're supposed to be respecting and praying for? Yeah, that one.


I am glad Bin Laden can no longer continue his regime. Do I think this is the end? Not a chance. Am I more nervous than I've been in a long time about our security as a nation? Yeppers. I don't feel in any way that the killing of Osama bin Laden is "justice" or "closure" or the beginning of a greater peace. I am glad he can no longer scheme and lead in terror attacks. I just wish that meant the terror was over.


More than anything, I'm saddened by how many rejoice in his killing, as if his death is any more deserved than mine or yours. One day we will all face a wrathful judgment and I have a hard time praying "Forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me," when forgiveness is a hard thing for me and hate can reign supreme. As a disciple of Christ, I should never rejoice in the death of another human being unless I know that they have an intimate relationship with the Savior, and for them, death is a victory. I pray that is the case but am saddened by the greater possibility that it wasn't.


I don't really want to talk much more about it. I am so sorry of those who lost loved ones on 9/11 and for those who have lost their sons and daughters/wives and husbands in the wars that have followed. But I just can't rejoice in the death of a man who most likely did not know Jesus. A man who is facing now what someday we'll all have to face - God's righteous judgment. 


Thanks be to my Jesus, whose grace is going to wash all my crap away on that day. I don't deserve it. I deserve death and eternity in Hell. I'm so thankful my God will not seek "justice" and that I won't get what I "deserve." 


I loved this quote a friend posted on Facebook today:
‎"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr.


Sounds like Dr. King knew my Jesus. :)


(I also want to add that I know many are not celebrating his death, but just the fact that he can no longer terrorize and that they feel justice has finally been served. I'm not trying to be judgmental and say that it's wrong to feel some relief or whatever you want to call it. This is just the stuff I've had to process and work through today. I apologize if any of it sounds insensitive to those who may have lost loved ones. Just to clarify. :) ) 

here we go again...

Shwoo. The Holy Spirit is turning me upside down these days. I have so much rolling around in my head, and very little that I can actually put words to. Between reading the gospels and reading Radical (and I'm only in chapter 4!), God is doing quite a work in my heart. I love it when He does that, but I also find it incredibly uncomfortable. I was joking (sort of) with my friend, Meredith, the other day, and told her that, for me, at this moment in my life, the Holy Spirit isn't so much the Comforter as the DIS-Comforter. :)

I am discontent, y'all. And for once, I don't think it's a bad thing. I'm so tired of claiming to follow Christ but doing very little to be a DISCIPLE. It is so easy to complacently live this life and watch others do what you should be doing or to throw money at this or that, while you sit back and watch. It's easy to say, vaguely, that one should feed the hungry, help the poor, visit the sick, serve those in need, care for the widows, rescue the orphans, and then continue living daily as you normally have all along. All the while praying that God will "open doors" and give you "opportunities" to serve. To say things like he hasn't "called" me to this or that, leaving the "mission work" up to those whom God has "gifted" or "called" to that work.

And please. I'm not writing this so y'all will say, "Oh, but Patrice, look what you're doing for Anton." I know that God laid that on my heart and kicked my butt a little. It's important and I'm so thankful he's allowed me to help in the way that I am. But honestly, y'all are doing more than I am. I am happy to facilitate things, but it's requiring very little "dying to self" to serve in this way. But again, I'm thankful. :)

And I know we all have different responsibilities depending on where we are in life. Obviously, a primary responsibility of parents, especially parents of younger children, is to raise your kids to know and love Christ. So all of us are being used in that way. But. BUT, is that ALL He calls us to do? If we keep waiting for a day when our lives are "easier" or things are more "stable" or we have more resources to do this or that, we're just going to go through life riding that fence of mediocrity. I think God calls us to so much more. Because I don't know if you've heard, but our lives are a vapor. We may never get "there," to whatever place it is we think we need to be before we start living uncomfortably, taking up our cross, and DAILY dying to self.

The one thing that Radical has pointed out to me (which is stupid because obviously it's like "DUH! That's what Jesus says") is that we aren't meant to be comfortable. Somehow, somewhere along the way, being humans (and especially Americans), we've decided that the purpose of our life is to get to a more comfortable, easy place. "Once my kids get older, things will be so much easier. We can go out to eat again or to the movies. We can have a life again." Or "Once we've worked x number of years, we'll retire and move to the beach." Or "Once our debt is paid off, we can use our money for this or that." Now I don't think it's wrong to look forward to our kids growing up or to retirement or certainly not to paying off our debt. But WHY are we looking forward to it? Is it because we are just living for things to get "easier" or "more comfortable"? And more importantly, is it holding us back from what we're called to do RIGHT NOW, in this very moment? The truth is, we might die before the kids age one more day or the debts get paid. And what will we have to show for our lives? We are made to 1) glorify our Lord and 2) to spread the gospel. I often wonder if my life (I mean the life that you don't see... the inside my walls, blinds shut, private life) is truly glorifying God, praising Him like He deserves, making Him pleased. And even more, I think, how many people have I shared the Good News with? How can I keep quiet when I've been set free? How can I keep that for myself?

People all around us are starving to death.
They can't pay their bills.
They don't have any way to go to the doctor.
They are living in the streets.
They're sad and broken hearted.
They look happy and put on a good face but are dying on the inside.
They don't have parents or a family to call their own.
They are so discouraged they don't think life is worth living.
They have suffered a tragic loss and everyone else has moved on.
They're completely empty inside.
They don't know Jesus.
Their lives are a vapor. Our lives are a vapor. We're running out of time.

Is my life meant to be lived comfortably? Am I here only to raise my kids, love my husband, and make it to retirement? Is the dream I'm living the American Dream or Jesus' dream for me?

WHAT IN GOD'S NAME AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

Matt and I are praying for 40 days about some big decisions in our life as we examine our purpose and what God is asking of us. (Obviously we won't stop praying after 40 days, but you get the point.) Our 40th day will be May 10th. I would love it, if you are in the same spot of reexamination and decision (or even if you're not) if you would join us. It's not about praying for "opportunities" but more about being still, knowing that God is big enough to provide and do a work through us that we don't feel like we can do ourselves, and discerning how He wants to use each of us. True, we are not all called to the same things, but WE ARE ALL CALLED TO SOMETHING. Meredith and her husband are about to start doing foster care. It's something she said she could/would never do up until this year. When people ask her, "How are you going to do that?" She always responds that she's not the one doing it. His grace is more than sufficient to fill in the gaps.

Our God is BIG enough. He is Faithful. He has a plan, and I'm pretty sure He's not in the business of bailing.

Here we are, Lord. Send us.

a swift kick in the you-know-what

My friend, Muffy, just published this post. It is way too good not to share. I haven't even read the first chapter of Radical yet (we start this week), but God has already been kicking my butt in these same areas. Where are our priorities? Pretty gut wrenching stuff. Thanks, M, for always challenging me to seek Jesus more. I love you!


I will join with the millions tonight watching the Superbowl mainly because our dear friends invited us to watch it with them.  I am not a huge sports fan period, but the NFL particularly is not my favorite.  So, I have no idea what team to pull for and really don't care all that much!  But I do love a good party!  I'll be hollerin' "go, buffalo chicken dip!" Or "yay for chili!"  Who's playing anyway?

I never have quite understood the importance of professional sports.  When I think about too hard, my brain and my heart hurts.  I just don't get it.  Why do we pay these athletes so much money while we struggle to pay our educators?  Why?  Why are we more passionate about some dudes tossing around a pigskin than we are about making sure that people around the globe have a meal tonight?  Why?

Please don't think I excuse myself from these questions.  I am really wrestling with the Lord right now about our choices...  what our lifestyle looks like.  We don't live extravagantly.   Most months our budget is super tight, but we never miss a meal, and we always have a place to lay our heads.  We live comfortably.  But is that where the Lord wants us?

I just finished reading the book Radical by David Platt.  To say it was good would be inaccurate.  I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to more fully understand who Jesus is and what He commands us to do as His followers.  But, good?  Hmmm.  Good, I guess, if you like a punch in the gut.

Once my eyes have been opened to the filth that we, particularly, Americans, have made of our mission,  I want to throw up.  I mean, how is that it's ok with us that children around the world do not have safe drinking water? Why do I continue to purchase a $5/cup of coffee if I weren't somehow ok with this?  Or that I run to Target for just about anything while children are being trafficked around the globe.

I do know that I am just as guilty as anyone for creating idols, putting things or people in the place of God.  Oh, how I have failed.  We, as a nation, have failed: we are more passionate, give more press to and spend our money on a sport of tossing around a pigskin than we do making much of Jesus.

I do know I can no longer just turn a blind eye.  I have to do something.   I am asking God, "Lord, what is it that I've told I would never do for You?  How can I live differently to make Your Name great and that You get the glory?"

I am praying and seeking Jesus in a fresh way.  I am stripping Jesus of anything that I have made Him and looking at Him for who the Bible says He is.  Because, I either believe that Jesus is who He says He is or He's a lunatic.  If I say I believe, I need to be prepared to obey what  He commands me to do.

Oh dear.  This is going to be painful.

idea one

I don't want to be one of those people who talks a big game but doesn't follow through. So as I think of (and institute, to the best of my ability) practical ways to be Jesus to those around me, even on limited time and resources, I'd like to share them here, if I can. Please know that it is NOT AT ALL to toot my own horn or say "Look at me. I'm super holy." Because, trust me, that is completely absurd and laughable. I just desire concrete, practical ways to serve more and better and love getting ideas. Maybe you do too?


Anyway...

Practical Ways to be Jesus: IDEA ONE


Sponsor a child through Compassion. It only takes $38 a month and will change the life of a child in a poverty stricken area. I'd be willing to bet it might change your life even more. Please see Compassion.com if you are interested. 


This is Mateo. He is almost nine years old and lives in Bolivia. He shares Gabe's birthday and the same name (Matthew was Gabe's middle name), and we are happy to consider him part of our family. I'm waiting for our introduction packet in the mail and can't wait to write him our first letter.

Hope you all have a blessed, love-and-compassion-for-others filled week.