Saturday, February 28, 2015

flashback: gideon, one month

I unfortunately didn't keep up with these (fact: two kids are harder than one), but you'll get to see a few!


Hey Everybody,


Today is my one month birthday. Mommy says I'm super cute, but I always keep my brow furrowed.


She tells me I don't need to be so concerned all the time, but life is tough for a one month old. 

I'm not sure how long I am, but I weigh around 11 pounds. Mommy would know more accurately, but a nurse doesn't come to our house every week to weigh me like they did my big brother. So today Mommy just had to weigh herself and then hold me and do it again.


At one month old, I sneeze a lot, get the hiccups a lot, eat a lot, sleep a lot, and spit up a lot. I have cradle cap, am losing my hair, and have baby acne. See? You would have a furrowed brow too.

I love to be held when I'm awake and show my displeasure if I'm not. I don't love my swing or my bouncy seat. You know what I DO like? Arms. Holding me. Don't forget it.

I wake up twice a night to eat, but I have decided that I love to be awake between the hours of 10:00pm and 1:00am. Mommy and Daddy think that's just awesome. Just. Awesome. I think they started whispering bad words under their breath last night, but I couldn't rightly say. 

So that's about it. Oh yeah, speaking of spit up, I spit up down Mommy's back and onto the floor today. She put me down and cleaned it up. After she picked me back up, she noticed two little drops she missed and THEN SHE WIPED THEM UP WITH HER SOCK FOOT. But don't tell her I told you okay? She said that one was just between me and her.


Mommy and Daddy are so thankful to have me and know that I was a direct answer to prayer, an answer that was even greater than what they could have imagined in their wildest dreams.


They are so blessed and so grateful that God has entrusted my sweet little life to them, and can't wait to see the man I grow up to become. They pray I will love Jesus and always trust God, no matter what. He is so good. They told me so.

Friday, February 27, 2015

jonah turns six!

My hero turned six today. He is more than I ever could have imagined. Adorable, hilarious, wise beyond his years, loquacious, tender hearted, compassionate, spunky, fun, and probably the best human being I know.



I couldn't imagine this life without him, and I'm so thankful God has seen fit to let me keep him this long. He lights up my life. Happy six years, not-so-baby-boy! You are perfectly amazing and amazingly perfect. I love you with all my heart!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Gideon's newborn shoot

The following Monday after we had picked Gideon up on Friday, I took Gideon to Jenn's for his newborn shoot. I would like to say this was a wonderful, happy experience, but I remember the day being very difficult for me. After Friday, Saturday, and Sunday of getting to bask in the unexpected blessedness of being a mommy to a newborn (we were always planning on school-aged kids), Monday came with social worker calls, notification for court dates and mandated twice-a-week visitations. Although we felt our case would fairly certainly end in adoption, I was ripped out of "normal new born baby world" and transported to our reality. Uncertainty and fear, fierce love and hope. I cried between photos.

I only go into this to say- foster care is hard. It's loving completely with all your heart, praying for what you want while simultaneously praying for God's will and what's "best," not even really knowing what that means or what that is. It's feeling like you want this baby forever and always, while simultaneously greiving for his birth mother and wanting only the best for her. It's wanting complete control over everything and having zero control over anything. It's being a mother in every single way but having no say in your child's future. It's hard, it's important, and regardless of outcome, it's worth it.

I'm overjoyed he is ours. But I'll never stop praying for Gideon's birth mom. I don't take any of it lightly or for granted. We are all so broken... each in our own way. I love one line in the new Casting Crowns song. "Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together?" I pray for peace and for us all to find a way to live together and do the best we can in our different forms of brokenness. And I pray that our main priority in our relationships, whatever kind they are, is to show grace. Grace upon grace. 

I don't know what any of that has to do with adorable newborn pics. It's just where I am, thinking of this day almost two and a half years ago. If you are just starting this journey, I can't promise happy endings or rainbows and daisies. But you're doing good, important work. And I understand where you are. Hold fast. God's promises are true and his blessings are real, no matter what form they take. They are there. Don't get so caught up in the crazy or in fear that you forget to find them. He is faithful.
















Sunday, February 22, 2015

Gideon's homecoming

On August 23rd, 2012 we got the phone call. I was really sick with a bad virus and I had called Matt to come home early from work so he'd be home when Jonah got up from his nap. I was feeling terrible and was lying in bed. Matt was lying beside me listening to me complain. My cell phone rang and I ignored it. Then it rang again, and I remember saying to Matt, "You better pick that up. It could be the social worker." 

Not sure if you guys remember but on that August 15th, I had written about the two toddler boys that we had been called about that we had had to say no to. It about broke my heart in half and I did not understand AT ALL why God had let us get the call about them just to make it so clear we couldn't take them. Knowing that I was grieving, our social worker had said she would give us a break before calling us again... a month or so she had said.

So that day when the phone rang, we weren't expecting a call about a placement. Matt answered my phone since it hurt for me to talk because of a sore throat. He picked up the phone and it was our social worker. He spoke with her for a bit, and when he got off the phone, I could tell it was something big. "What is it?" I asked. "It's a newborn. A baby boy," he said. "I want him," was my immediate response. 

So that's how it started. We had 17 hours notice. This was at 5pm on a Thursday night. We were to pick him up from the hospital the next day at 10am. I immediately called my mom and sister and had them come and start cleaning the baby things that we did have (which wasn't much). We did have a bassinet and an expired car seat and a few toys... but not much else. Matt and I went to Walmart at 11pm and threw our own baby shower.

I filled you in here on how God used the situation with the two boys to bring us our Gideon, so I won't repeat it here, but it's pretty amazing... as God typically is. 

That night, I called our friend MaryKay to come and stay with Jonah the next morning while we picked him up. And I called Jenn to be here to take pictures of our homecoming. It was beautiful and unbelievable and wonderful and completely overwhelming.

We came home and Jonah met us on the front porch. He was three and a half then. He bent down and looked in the car seat and kept saying, "Hey Baby. Hey Baby. Hey Baby. Oh hey Baby" over and over again. It was quite possibly the sweetest moment of my whole life. I really can't put it into words. 

And from that moment on, our life has never been the same... and I'm so so grateful.


















Saturday, February 21, 2015

HE IS OURS!

It's official!!! I introduce you to our ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OFFICIAL ALWAYS AND FOREVER SON, Gideon Isaac Williams.


We are overjoyed to say that Gideon's adoption is finalized after almost two and a half years (889 days to be exact) of waiting. We are so happy that the papers finally say what we've known in our hearts all along - Gideon is our son.

There is so much to say and so much story to tell, but for now I will leave you with these (and there are plenty more to come!) -








Gideon - newborn


Gideon - 2 months



Gideon - 9 months


Gideon - 15 months


Gideon - last week (2 1/2 years)! :) 

And as always, thank you to my sweet friend, Jenn, of Jenn Lewis Photography, for documenting so many beautiful moments in our lives (except for that last one... I took that one with my cell phone... while Gideon tried on my boots...).

WOOHOO!!! Thatisall.