checking in!

Hello Friends.

I miss you! I'm really going to try to get better about blogging. I miss the therapy and I miss the community. And I love having a journal of the boys' lives. The last two years will just be sort of missing. :)

Things are going really well. Jonah has started Kindergarten (a post on that to come soon) and is totally in love with his school and his teachers. Because our school system would not qualify him as special needs, he would not have had an aide to help him (really just best not to get me started), so we opted to send him to a half day private school that we LOVE. Seriously, it is such a blessing. School is something I have been thinking about since Jonah was probably a year old, and has always been a source of anxiety for me. But from the first time I walked into this school, I have felt God's hand all over it and such a peace. It's where he is meant to be and we are so grateful.

G is mischievous, into-everything, sweet, rotten, snuggly, strong-willed, and hilarious. He writes on the table, puts my hairbrush in the toilet, and never fails to "help" load and unload the dishwasher. He has dimples that make you want to squeeze him and says "Mama!" every time I come back (even if I've only been gone 30 seconds) in such a way that melts my heart. Like I'm his everything. It's pretty amazing. I know you guys are dying to hear news of his adoption, and so are we! We have officially entered the adoption phase, but it's looking like it will be November or December before it finalizes. We are okay with this and are just so grateful that he's ours. But I can't wait to blow up the internet with his sweet face.

For now, here are a couple from the last couple of weeks -

From the fair this past Saturday. G wasn't technically 34 inches, but needed to be to ride most of the rides. So maybe I poofed up his hair a little bit to add half an inch. I couldn't rightly say.

Tonight he weighed himself whilst eating Doritos. We share the same health and wellness philosophy.

From the Greenway Trail in Boone. We went to visit my sister at App two weekends ago.

Jonah was a ring-bearer in Matt's cousin Jake's wedding last weekend (another post to come). He was maybe the cutest ring bearer on the face of the planet ever. And by maybe I mean certainly. He couldn't wear the dress shoes, too narrow for his bandaged feet, but check out his sweet Chucks!

The first day it was cool enough to wear fall clothes. I thought he looked adorable. Later found out these were girls pants. Whoever handed him down girls pants better watch out. You may suffer the wrath of my mother-in-law. Can you see it though? The ruffles on the pockets? My bad.

It's almost midnight and I'm off to bed because the thing about my sweet, peaceful children? THEY WAKE UP. And they need things. Lots of things. Constantly.

Love to all of you. I hope in all things you see that God is working them for good. He does, you know. He's faithful like that. He's a Redeemer of Stories. Make sure to take note of how He's working to redeem yours. Because I promise He is.

good news!

We just found out this morning that in court this morning, they terminated rights of the unknown father in G's case. Meaning that he is now 100% officially legally free for adoption!!!

This is huge news and long awaited for, and we can now FINALLY begin the adoption process. It will take several months, but G is well on his way to becoming an official Williams. (And I'm so sorry that I still can't show his face until that happens!)

On April 22nd, 2008, when my heart was shattered into a million pieces when I gave birth to our sweet, stillborn Gabriel, I never ever could have imagined that God would put so much goodness and hope into our future. That this would be the picture of our future family.

Y'all, my cup runs over! We are so blessed and praising God for all He's done for us, for G, for our present, and for our future. We could not ask for more.

baby update

I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've posted. I know it's awful of me to post such big, awesome, amazing news and then be silent for so long. I have to say, I'm tired. :)

No really, we are doing amazingly well, and Matt and I keep trying to figure out what else we're supposed to be doing. You mean you just have to feed them, bathe them, change them, love them, and get up with them at night? That's it? No meds? No force feeding? No blister popping, bandage changing or tube feeding? No NICU stay? We can wipe his butt with a regular old wet wipe? We can hold him by his ankles to change his diaper? He can wear normal clothes?

This is freakin' awesome.

God is so faithful, and I just can't get over how He's so miraculously, hugely, and amazingly blessed us with our G. Remember when I posted this? I had given up on newborn baby dreams. And it was okay. It really was.

But then God gave us an amazing gift, just out of the blue, and BAM, here we are.

And we are thankful. :)

Sorry, but these are the only photos I can post. (But don't worry, somday I'll post 4,586,297 photos.)

The other day. A cute little hairy head, just a snoozin'.

G and I preparing for our "7" book study.

Jonah is doing great, and loves his new brother. Everybody who comes to the house, even people who have met, held and loved G on numerous occasions already, is introduced to "my new baby brother." He is constantly saying "He is so cute" and "What's wrong with G?" if he's crying. Besides needing a few extra hugs and kisses, he's adapted quickly. Pretty amazing for a kid who only had 17 hours notice. :)

Thank you for continuing to walk this crazy road with us. It just keeps getting better.

blessed

These sweet little feet...

And this sweet little hand...

... have stolen my heart.

And I don't ever want it back.

We are so blessed. Somebody pinch me. I'm sure I'm dreaming.

Thank you, Lord.

BIG NEWS!

God is so good and big and faithful and amazing.

I just finished Beth Moore's Believing God study, and in one session she talks about us reaching our Gilgal. Gilgal means "circle" and was the name of the first place the Israelites camped when they came into the promised land. Beth talked about God bringing them full circle out of their Egyptian captivity and into their promised land.... saying that we all have a promised land, but unbelief is often the biggest obstacle keeping us from it.

Anyway, after we had to say no the boys' placement in our home (and felt clarity that it was a definite no), I was so sad, mad, and confused. Why Lord? Why would you let us get that call? Why would you let our family be chosen? Why would you let us love them in our hearts for a week, and then when finally meeting them, have us say no? Why, Lord?

That was on a Tuesday. On Thursday, I went to my girls' bible study, and we watched the last Believing God session, and it seemed (even to the other women in the room) that everything Beth said applied to me and my heartbreak.

Phrases like:
- Anything that waits, it's because God has something better for us.
- Wrestle a thing out. We run a race well, not by refusing to wrestle, but by keeping the faith during the fight.
- Continue to believe, even when God doesn't answer the way we expect.
- Faith always receives. (Eph 1:18-20)
- Faith soon sees. (1 Cor 13, 2 Tim 4:6)
- God is a can-do, able God, with an outstretched arm. He is powerful and he loves.
- IT HAS PURPOSE.

A week later, this past Thursday, Matt and I got a call about a newborn legal-risk placement that needed to be discharged to a foster family from the hospital. We brought him home on Friday. It is very likely that we will be able to adopt him and he'll be ours for forever, but it could take a year (or more?). We have a long road ahead, many fears to pray through and face, and a hard journey. There is still risk. But we step out on faith, and we are going to love Baby G with all our hearts. And trust God to do his thing.

I BELIEVE.

And oh, the purpose of our experience with the boys? The toddler boys' social worker is also the social worker for Baby G. After choosing us for the boys and it not working out, when she got the call about this baby, she immediately chose us to be his family. Had the whole situation and heartbreak of not being able to bring the toddler boys home never happened, this social worker would have never known we even existed.

FAITH SOON SEES.

I am in tears at the faithfulness and love of my God. He is so good, y'all. Even when we can't see. Even when we're in the dark and can't see the why or the purpose or the good in it all. Just keep believing him to be good, faithful, and BIG.

IT HAS PURPOSE.