Wednesday, July 29, 2009

computer in the shop

Just wanted to let you know that I haven't fallen off the ends of the bloggy earth. Our laptop is in the shop, and getting five minutes to come upstairs and post on the desktop is just that - about five minutes.

So hopefully I'll get back to more frequent posts in a couple days when the computer is fixed. (But more than anything, I want it back for dressing changes... no DVD distraction is KILLING me, and isn't so fun for Baby Jonut either.)

Very productive day - took Jonah to the GI, to the pediatrician (for a questionable looking place on his finger... think it's okay), mowed the lawn (with my mom's help), and was just finishing up dressing change when Matt walked in the door. So Jonah has just fallen asleep for his afternoon nap (he only slept for an hour after lunch) now at 5:45pm. You know what this means, don't you? UP. ALL. NIGHT.

We're just gonna hunker down. It's gonna be a long one.

(Oh yeah, a couple of you have asked about his breathing. Still the stridor, but only when he sleeps. I mentioned it again today at the Pediatrician's office, and they still seemed unconcerned. His color is great, and besides being raspy (because of the acid reflux???), he breathes easy when he's awake. He's not retracting and doesn't seem to be struggling at all. But man, it scares the dickens out of me. I guess they just expect him to grow out of it, but I'm keeping a close eye (ear) on it for signs of change... Thanks for asking!)

Monday, July 27, 2009

five months today

Hi World!

Today I turned five months old. Pretty cool, huh?

I currently weigh about 14 lbs, 13 oz. I think I'm still in the 25th percentile.

My favorite song is called, "Only a Boy Named David" (well, actually those are the first five words... mommy doesn't really know what it's called), and my Aunt Kim taught it to me. Mommy sings is to me all the time, but is only about 60% sure she has the tune right. Whatever. I also like it when Mom and Dad sing "I Feel Good Dun-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nuh," and man, they're right. That song makes me feel awesome! Especially when they end it with "So Good! So Good! I went Poop! Dun-dun-dun-Dun." Suuuuuuuuuh-weeeet.

I'm beginning to enjoy Patty-Cake and getting kisses on my hands. I think my hands are pretty amazing and have enjoyed the last couple months with them unwrapped. Where've they been all my life???

Mommy is trying to teach me to fake cough (just because she thinks it's funny), and I tried it today for the first time (we think, anyway). I thought I was hilarious. So did Mommy and Daddy. Do you know what this means? I'm getting a sense of humor. Mommy says I'm really going to need one in this world, so it's a good thing.

My favorite toy is still my lion that the Easter Bunny brought me (remember?) when I was in the hospital for the second time. He's so cool. Daddy named him Pedro, and I especially like playing with his ribbon tail.


He's pretty fantastic, huh? (The Easter Bunny may or may not have found this lion at Target. She couldn't rightly say.)


I also really like playing with my red and black dog rattle. He's the first thing I ever reached out and touched. Granny taught me how. I always grab his nose. He's pretty spectacular too!

One of my funniest things: I smile, laugh, and talk to photos of myself. Apparently, I think I'm as cute as the rest of the world, because I just can't get enough of myself. That kid in the frame is one good lookin' specimen, if I do say so myself. And I do.

Mommy has recently started giving me formula. No more breast milk. And it is GREAT, although very smelly. It goes down so much better than that other milk, and I'm so thankful that after four and half months of screaming bloody murder at every feeding, Mommy finally got a freakin' clue. Geez. I do spit up more now, but I'm going on three days of no gushing river explosions. Mommy and Daddy are very thankful for this. I'm starting to like my rice cereal by spoon a little more, although I'm still getting the hang of things.

Have I mentioned before that I LOVE me some Nudey-Nudey Time? Well, I do. It's awesome! Take exhibits A-G:

Exhibit A: Anticipating Nudey-Nudey Time as Mom sings the Nudey-Nudey Time song. I'm sorry. It's exclusive. We could tell you what it is, but then we'd have to kill you. And this is a killing-free blog.


Exhibit B: Nudey-Nudey Time has begun! Can I get a woot-woot?
Exhibit C-D: Have I mentioned that Mommy digs it too? (Please excuse her white, pasty appearance.)



Exhibit E: Mommy kissing my belly. My favorite! "Here Mommy. Let me Aquaphor your face in thanks."

Exhibit F: "I Feel Good Dun-nu-nu-nu-nu-nu-nuh"
Exhibit G: This is a new funny face I started making today. Mommy hasn't figured out what it means yet, but she sure does think it's precious. Little does she know I was planning my world-domination scheme at this very moment. Muah-ha-ha!
Along with thinking photos of me are the greatest thing since sliced bread, I also like looking at myself in the mirror. That guy's pretty handsome too!
I still like bath time a lot (most of the time, anyway), and just this week I moved up to a big boy chair in the big tub. Now I think I'm grown and should start getting an allowance. Mommy said, "Dream on." I don't really know what that means, but I better get my $5.00 on Friday.

I'm still delayed taking my cotton pickin' time (thankyouverymuch) in some things, including rolling over (either way) and pushing up on my hands. (Hey, give a guy a break. I've only just realized I had fingers for cryin' out loud!) So anyway, Mommy had some big plans for tummy time today...
But I had plans of my own.


Beautiful, beautiful sleep. This was an extra little nap I took today, but usually I get up around 8:00 (after getting up one to two times during the night), take a bottle, take a little cat nap, get a bath, get my dressings changed, eat another bottle, and then zonk out for a three hour nap. Mommy says she's very proud of me, but what I really think she means is "Glory, Hallelujah! HE SLEEPS! I get to brush my teeth!" That's just a guess, though.

So anyway, I've made it to five months old, and Mommy and Daddy thank God every day for the time they get to spend with me. They are overwhelmed and amazed at how beautiful, fantastic, and utterly amazing I am. They think I'm so special, and can't believe how blessed they are to call themselves my parents.
I mean, look at this face, people! Can you blame them?

Father, thank you for sweet, sweet Jonah. He is such a blessing. We are ever-thankful, ever-grateful, ever in your debt. He is the light of our world, our best friend, PERFECT. He is yours.

And the whole bloggy-world said...

pray for stellan

I know most of you found me through MckMama, but in the off chance that you didn't, please, please be in prayer for Stellan, her almost nine-month-old son, today. He has had SVT (high heart rate - in the mid 200's) for over three days now, and will soon be airlifted to Boston. He is stable, but doing very poorly.

I'll let you read what's going on for yourselves here, but please pray for this strong baby boy. You can also follow her on Twitter.

In light of my last post, I can only imagine the things that are running through Jennifer's head right now. I can't say that I know what she's going through, but I'm familiar with at least some of what she's feeling. Probably best to pray for her too!

Thanks.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

deep thoughts

We've had a pretty good day, although Matt and I have been very busy with chores. They never seem to end. I "relaxed" tonight cutting elastic out of diapers while Matt gave Jonah his last bottle of the night. He’s just now finally fallen asleep. It's almost midnight... again. Last night he didn't fall asleep until after midnight, but he did sleep until a little after seven, so I'm okay with it. We did have to get up three or four times and give him a little butt pattin', but he went right back to sleep with very little effort.

His breathing has seemed more labored today, which always makes me nervous. We had him scoped when he was a month and a half old, but haven't since. I think I'm going to set up a time with the ENT to have it done again. As much as I hate it and worry about it causing blistering, it's just too big of a risk not to check in on things once in a while. I just don't understand what causes his stridor. Is it just a "floppy airway," and if so, what does that even mean? I mean stridor is the sound produced when pushing air through a narrowed space... right? That doesn't sound good.

I guess I just keep waiting for the bottom to drop out. I mean, he's doing so well - thriving, gaining weight - right now, it's just blisters. And I just feel like I'm living in a perpetual state of waiting for the worst. I don't know that I'm negative (although Matt would probably say that I am), I just think we've experienced too much hurt for it to remain so stable. I can't seem to get my hopes up... as much as I want to. I have told several people that with each new milestone, it's bittersweet. On the one hand I'm happy and excited and thankful for (fill in the blank), but on the other, I try to embed it in my head, you know, just in case. Am I making sense? Like, for Father's Day, when I was signing Matt's card from Jonah, I thought, "What if this is the only Father's Day card Jonah ever gives?" And when he reached up for the first time and touched my face when I was kissing on his belly (I told you I love me some nudey-nudey time), I started crying - partly out of happiness, partly out of sadness that maybe we don't get a lifetime of this. And I kept thinking at the beach, "What if he's not here with us next year?" Isn't that crazy? I wish I could just accept now for now and stop thinking about the what ifs. Because, truth be told, I'm not sure I would survive it. What if, what if, what if. I honestly can't bear the weight of that thought. And especially on a day like today, when his stridor is worse. It just scares me so much. It's not the dressing changes or blisters or draining or cutting elastic out of diapers or clothes modifying or constant bandaging that get to me. It's the fear of the unknown. It's the weight of the What If. Sometimes I feel like I can't stand up under it.

I get scared that my faith won't stand losing another child. And then I beat myself up because he's right here in front of me - smiling, laughing, playing - and although I don't take a moment of it for granted... my mind still goes there. To the unimaginable. "Remember what his voice sounds like, Patrice." "Remember the face he makes when you first walk in the room." "Remember how he laughs at Matt laughing." "Remember how he looks at you with those eyes." "Remember that smile." "Remember how it feels when he touches you." "Remember how he smells." "DON'T FORGET."

Is it intuition or paranoia? Is it substantiated fear or complete craziness? Could I survive if he doesn't? Would I want to?

Do you see how it goes? I hate it. I just want to be here, in this moment, today. Loving Jonah, living, trusting God. I get so scared that as many promises as He's made to me and as much hope as He's given me, He has not guaranteed me that Jonah will have a long, full life. He has promised me that He will be with me every step of the way, no matter what. And in my head, I know it's true. But if I were being completely honest, when I'm overcome by the What If, I wonder if that will be enough.

And I would pray that He would be enough, but it's not even a prayer I'm willing to utter. Because that would mean Jonah is gone. And that's just not an option.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

jonah fix

Jonah's first time in his Bumbo. He did great!



Waddup peeps?


Favorite time of the day - right before bath when we have exposed belly! He loves him some nudey-nudey time, and I must admit, I'm a pretty big fan too!


Jonah's new bath seat.



Wednesday, July 22, 2009

poor vermont

My Father-in-law sent me this link.

http://twincities.bizjournals.com/twincities/stories/2009/07/20/daily22.html?surround=etf

I'm so sorry, Vermont. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. You poor things.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

another random (not at all funny) post

This will be a random post because I'm definitely starting it having no idea where it will go.

First off, still having trouble on the posting photos/videos front. Something is wrong with our laptop. I cannot post pictures or videos to the blog, it will not auto-save, I can't do anything on Facebook, my sister's email freezes up when she tries to check it, the backspace button has a delay, and so on and so forth. And it's definitely just a problem with the laptop because we can do everything on our desktop. However, my video software is not loaded on the upstairs computer, so until I have time to load that, I can't post any videos. So that's why my posts of late have no media. I'm more frustrated than you are, believe me.

I feel like I have a lot on my heart tonight, but it's really all random thoughts all jumbled up, so I don't know that I can really express any of it, but just so you know I'm having deep thoughts (and that doesn't happen very often, so I thought you should know.)

What's going on with Jonah: He's being cute.

No, but really - I'm not sure about the Alimentum. Although he's eating a lot better (except for today... he had a blister on the tip of his tongue), he is spitting up a lot more. Not only does he have lots of little spit-ups during the day, but usually twice a day, he's having a monster throw-up of about three to four ounces... you know the kind - where you have to change him and change yourself... all the way down to your undies (S, S, and B, UNDAPANTS I say to you.) Has anyone else experienced this when switching from breast milk to formula? Is it because the formula is so much thicker or because I'm adding rice cereal or because the formula isn't agreeing with him??? Grrr. Every time I think we've found a solution with Jonah, something else always comes up. This is especially frustrating, because although he's always struggled with acid reflux, it's been the more "silent" type, and we typically haven't had issues with massive amounts of spit up. (And believe me, I'm using the words "spit up" here very lightly as that is not nearly descriptive of what is coming out of this child - think rushing river or Niagra Falls.) And I'm tired of having to do additional partial dressing changes several times a day. So anyway, I'm still pumping since we are unsure at this point what's going to happen. We have an appt with the GI doctor next Wed I think and with the nutritionist next Friday, so I will be interested to see what they have to say.

We ran into Dr. Heather today at Home Goods, and I was soooo excited to see her. Jonah really gave her some cute smiles, and I was glad he woke up to show her his baby blues. It's as if he was saying, "Hey, I know you. You saved my life. How's it goin'?" And on a fortuitous note, she had already spoken with a Similac Rep who knows Jonah's story and says they are willing to help with formula however they can. WOO-HOO! AND the pediatrician called and says they have lots of coupons waiting there for us, and they are also working on getting us some samples from their rep. Does my God provide or what?

These last couple days, I’ve realized how much he’s growing up. I’ve had to pack up a lot of the clothes he’s outgrown (most that he never got to wear), and today I had to buy him one of those little mesh seats for the real tub, because the baby tub has gotten too small (well, too small to keep him from harming himself anyway). It’s weird that he’s so big. And I find myself saying things like, “I can’t wait until he’s old enough to know he shouldn’t rub his face” or “I can’t wait until he can sit up and know to hold still during dressing change.” But I don’t want to wish this time away. Maybe it’s all tied up in the likely cessation of pumping. I don’t feel guilt about it, as much as it just makes me sad that I never got to nurse him, and will probably never get to nurse a baby. And that just makes me so sad… that I’ll never get that. I, I, I, me, me, me. And we know it’s all about me, right? Geez.

Jonah’s forgotten how to sleep through the night. Last night it was back to being up with him twice – once at 2:00 and once at 5:30. I don’t know why he’s backtracking, but we’re soooo tired. I want my seven hours back. Even before last night, he has been waking up three to five times a night for butt patting and usually once for a feeding. It’s so weird because he’s eating MORE now but sleeping less. I can't figure these creatures out. He’s snoozing now, but I’m always up one to two hours after he’s gone down because of laundry, dishes, setting up for tomorrow’s dressing change, pumping etc… We get in bed about the time he’s waking up.

Anyway, guess I better run. I’m really tired, and he’ll probably be waking up in another couple of hours.

Oh, a funny thing (since this post was so boring) – I have a newly developed addiction to Nutty Buddies, and so every time I hear the ice cream truck, I have to go out and get one. However, to save money, I just decided to buy a box of the Harris Teeter ones knowing that would be cheaper. But pathetically enough, the ice cream truck slows down (or sometimes comes to a complete stop) on the corner near my house hoping to lure me out there. He doesn’t stop in front of the little kids’ houses. He stops in front of my house. I am the sucker. (See? I told you it was pathetic) But don’t worry – I’ve been eating my store-bought ones instead. I do, however, still salivate when I hear the truck music. I’m apparently just as impressionable as one of Pavlov’s dogs.

I hope to get that software uploaded to the other computer tomorrow, but no guarantees. I don’t like to spend a lot of time on the computer when I could be hanging with Jonah instead. I try to only do that kind of thing when he’s either sleeping or I’m pumping.

Ok, I’m really done now. Hope you are all having a good week.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

just another day in poop/puke/pee-adise

Just a quick note... very sleepy.

I have a cute video of Jonah "talking," but my laptop is being stupid, and won't let me upload... so you'll have to wait a while on that one. Sorry. That was my plan for today's post, so I don't have many words.

Jonah continues to eat better and he's still taking a kick-butt nap in the afternoons (usually about three hours). Woot-woot! I'm hoping as he's able to eat more, we can gradually push him to an every four hours schedule, rather than every three. But for now, I'm feeding him when he's hungry.

We had a nice weekend. Went to Putt-Putt (just to watch) last night. It was our church's Junior High night out, and since Matt and I help with Jr. High kids (or used to at least), we went to see everyone. Jen and Jude were there, so we got the J Team back together for a little outdoor reunion. It was a much cooler day here yesterday, so it was nice to be outside.

And an "Oh no he didn't" moment for today: It was 10:35 (Church starts at 11), and we had Jonah in his car seat, strapped in, ready to head out the door, and he projectile vomited the whole three ounces he had just taken all over his outfit, the car seat, and his arm bandages. So we had to clean the car seat as best we could, febreeze it down (Man, that formula STINKS!), and change his arm bandages and outfit. So thirty minutes later we were ready to go. But we still went, and I'm glad we did even though Baby Jo and I only caught two songs and spent the rest of the time out in the lobby. But I count getting through the doors as a major success.

He's also peed on us about five or six times today and had two major blowouts. One of the times he peed, I was changing him on our bed, so he peed all over our comforter and Gabe's teddy bear from the hospital. I had to wash his bear by hand and started crying feeling like I might wash Gabe off (even though I'm sure the bear smells more like Patrice drool than Gabe... it was still hard). So anyway, it's been a good but long day.

I'm going to bed... you know once my comforter gets washed and dried. Sigh.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

eating update

Thanks for your encouragement about the switching to formula thing. I've done straight formula since Thursday afternoon/evening, and the difference is night and day. Night and Day. It is amazing. Jonah is eating peacefully and quickly. He'll take three ounces no problem in about 15 to 20 minutes, and most of the time he wants to eat four to six ounces. He's never wanted to take more than three. So I guess I'm making the switch... as much as it breaks my heart.

And yes, I could go no dairy, and maybe it would make a difference, but here's one thing I know about me: I can't go no dairy. As much as I would love to be that selfless, I know my own limits. A while back I tried no milk out of the jug, no cheese, and no sweets, and it did no good. So I know it would have to be SERIOUSLY NO DAIRY, and even then I don't know if it would help. (Question: What foods contain dairy? Answer: Every good food on the face of the planet.) And I barely have the time or energy to figure out what I'm going to eat as it is, so major food restrictions would definitely send me over the edge.


Don't judge me. I can only do so much.

I am continuing to pump, though, until I speak with his doctor and a lactation consultant. I do want to talk to them about the benefits/risks of mixing in small amounts of breast milk.

I called his nutritionist to get the recipe for the increased calorie per ounce formula now that we're taking away the breast milk. The recipe is one cup of formula to 20 ounces of water. That makes about 24 ounces mixed. That will maybe get us through one day. Guess how many cups of formula are in a can? TWO. That means that with his increased caloric needs, one can of formula is only going to last us two days. That means we'll spend about $100 a week on formula. Holy Cow. And they call breast milk liquid gold. So… I went on Similac and signed up for coupons, applied for the Target Visa (which we’ll pay off every month) so we’ll get coupons and discounts there, checked on eBay where it seems I’ll be able to get it for about $15 a can instead of $25 (if I buy in bulk), and will talk to the doctor about writing a prescription for it (although I have no idea if Jonah’s insurance would cover it or not.) So if you have/find Similac coupons you aren’t going to use and wouldn’t mind sending them our way, that would be so great. And if you know any other way to get it cheaper, please let me know. You guys have some great tricks. But it boils down to this… if Jonah is eating better, more peacefully, and the formula is decreasing his pain, then Amen. Hallelujah. Praise Jehovah. AND, it’s worth every penny.

As far as the gdiapers, someone sent me some inserts that I’ve used. But when I looked online for them, it’s significantly less expensive to buy cheap store-brand diapers and cut the elastic out than reorder the gdiaper inserts. So, cut I will.

Jonah’s trying to get on a schedule – waking up around 7, eating at 7:30, taking a short morning nap, starting dressing change between 11 and 12, eating afterwards, and then sleeping from 1:30 or 2 until 4 or 5. I want to be able to move his bedtime up, but so far he refuses to go to sleep before 11, and last night it was midnight. I’m happy it’s a semi-schedule though, and things seem significantly easier than just a few days ago. I’m feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. (And I’m so afraid that putting all of this is writing is going to totally jinx everything.)

Better run. Dressing change calls.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

catching up

So glad all of you are back. Apparently when I posted the pics of Jonah's first time on the beach, for some reason, that messed the blog up. I could still view it, some of you could still view it, but many were having problems. I have NO idea what it was in that post that threw everything for a loop... it was just a picture post. You could still view it just fine with Firefox or some versions of Internet Explorer, but most IE users couldn't see it anymore. Don't ask me. So anyway, I took that post down, and all is right with the blog again... except that it is missing one adorable post of one adorable baby and his first time on the beach. But anyway, glad to have you back. Sorry for the problems.
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Jonah is trying to sleep through the night now. He slept all night five out of the eight nights we were away, and he slept all the way through last night. If he can eat enough before he goes to sleep, he'll make it all the way through, but this week has been an extremely rough week on the eating front. I'm so discouraged and completely frustrated. He used to take one to two ounces before he started screaming and fighting, but now he's screaming within the first five minutes. Sometimes he'll only take about five sucks before it all goes to pot. I don't know if it's reflux or lactose intolerance or an allergy to the milk protein or internal blistering... but it is driving me crazy. Really. Crazy. I'm tempted to just try the Alimentum formula and forget the breast milk end of things, but I'm so torn. I mean, if he's having trouble with milk, then I need to let it go, but we've kept infection away for so long, I just worry about stopping the breast milk. But then again, eating is better than not eating, and the struggle it is for him to eat probably does more harm than good. I certainly don’t want to cause him more pain. I just don't know. I've been in tears about it all the last couple days and have given God a pretty big piece of my mind about it all too. I’m going to try just formula today and see if that makes a difference. It makes me sick that I can’t give him what he needs.

On the diaper front - I'm now using disposables with the elastic cut out inside the cloth diapers. Joy. All the hassle and mess and laundry of cloth diapering while still having to spend money on disposables. It's like the eating thing - all the time and hassle of pumping while still having to buy $25 a can formula.

Can you tell it's been a rough week?

Sorry to be such a downer today, but you guys know this blog goes both ways. I'm not much into sugar-coating things. And some days, as cute as Jonah is and as many smiles as he gives me and as much as he lights up my world - I still get ticked off at the unfairness of it all. But please, please pray for the eating situation. I just feel like I'm reaching my limit and if something doesn't give, I'll go nuts. Literally. We have another GI appointment in a couple weeks, but if moving to formula doesn’t help things, I’ll probably try to move the appointment up.
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The beach was fun and more relaxing than our “normal,” and it went a lot smoother than I expected. It wasn't really a typical beach vacation, but I did get to pass Jonah around a little more than usual and Matt's parents would keep him for us in the afternoons. So mostly for me that meant longer showers, getting to read a book, and putting on make-up. The highlight of the vacation: brushing my teeth before 3pm. Just kidding. (Well, kidding about that being the highlight, not so kidding about what time it is before I normally brush my teeth. Disgusting, I know.) We got to go out to the beach a couple times, and one afternoon, Matt and I went to the outlets and did a little "now that I'm finally skinny" shopping. We did spend about 15 minutes in the hot tub one day, but it's a little less relaxing when all you can think is, "I definitely have to take a shower before I can even think about touching Jonah after sitting here in this cesspool of germs." Once the hot tub becomes a cesspool, it's not quite as relaxing or romantic as you'd hope it to be.
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I finally went grocery shopping last night. Besides picking up a few items here and there, I haven’t done a big grocery trip since before Jonah was born. Our fridge was pretty empty to say the least. Matt kept Jonah while I went, and I probably spent two hours getting everything (after a stop-off at Chick-fil-A to get a large sweet tea to help sustain me through the task at hand… speaking of Chick-fil-A… Oh, man… the Chick-fil-A sauce. Thank you, Thank you for introducing me. I had no idea what I was missing. I was so unschooled in the ways of Chick-fil-A, but I have learned the error of my ways. Is it bad that I want to value-size my fries just to have more of something to dip in the sauce?)
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And finally, on a more serious note, I, along with so many others, am missing Paul today. His service was at 3:00 this afternoon. I didn’t get to go, because I didn’t have anyone to keep Jonah, but they presented live through a webcast here. I would encourage you, if you knew Paul, but were unable to attend his service, watch it. It was beautiful and funny and full of praise and worship… just the way Paul would have wanted it. And if you didn’t know Paul, but would like to know the kind of man he was, I would encourage you to watch it too. The recurring theme of the service: Paul’s passion in life was to really SHOW the love of Jesus. He never stopped living for Christ, cared for people fiercely, never ran out of room to love just one more person. And as his sister said at the service – he was a pretty big guy, but he needed to be that big to hold such a huge heart.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

family photos on the beach

Thanks, Katherine!






Sunday, July 12, 2009

see you soon, Paul

Hi friends.

I ask for prayers today for my boss and sweet, sweet friend Lynn. Her husband of many, many years and best friend, Paul, died this weekend of a heart attack. Lynn was on Young Life assignment in Colorado, and one of her sons, PJ, was on assignment in Alaska. He just graduated high school in the Spring. Their other son, John, was the one who found Paul I think, although that's coming to me secondhand.

Please be in prayer for them as they deal with this unexpected and sad reality. Please pray that they will feel the arms of Jesus holding them tight and will lean on his unwavering faithfulness.

Paul IS an amazing person... full of life and jokes and stories. Matt and I always joked that EVERYBODY knows Paul. Whenever I would mention that I worked for Young Life, it was inevitable that the next question was, "Oh, so you know Paul?" What I loved about him so much was that he always said what was on his mind... no beating around the bush. I joked that obviously Lynn liked that quality in people since she married Paul and hired me. :) I only met him for the first time in December and then spent time with him on a couple occasions after that, but we talked on the phone most every day from October to February when he would call the office.

Actually, Paul has been one of Jonah's greatest prayer warriors, calling friends to pray and putting us on different prayer lists. I know he prayed for Jonah all the time, and always reminded me he was praying. He gave Jonah one of his first nicknames long before he was born, always asking me how "Cletus the Fetus" was doing. I hold these things very close to my heart, and think of Paul now petitioning the Father on Jonah's behalf IN PERSON.

He loves Lynn so much, and I would consider theirs a role-model marriage. He gave so much time to Young Life and was so passionate about leading kids to Jesus and starting up Young Life in new areas.

We'll all miss you so much, Paul, but we know that you are now where you've always wanted most to be. See you soon!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

williams suffers scrabble defeat

Matt and I have spent the last couple of days mostly indoors. Matt was playing Frisbee on the beach on Tuesday and blistered the bottom of his feet pretty badly (I know, I know), so we've kind of been lying low. I mean, seriously, when sand would be a major problem for 2/3 of your family unit, it's really just best to stay inside. But I haven't minded. I can read looking out the window just as well as I can read sitting on the beach.

Speaking of reading, I finished "My Sister's Keeper," and I didn't shed a tear. Is that weird? I actually felt nothing. I kind of thought the ending was a little abrupt and obvious. Am I a cold-hearted snake or what? (Or maybe there's just enough drama in my own life that fake drama doesn't do a whole lot for me... Marley and Me, on the other hand, made me cry like a baby... after all, it was a true story.)

I have been taking Jonah out on the beach the last couple evenings when the wind dies down, and he seems to really like it. I mean, he's not out there smiling and laughing (something he hasn't done a whole lot of this week), but it's calmed him down when he's been fussy.

If the rain holds off, we're heading outdoors here in a little bit for a family shoot that Katherine is going to do for us. I'm excited, as it will be our first "real" family pictures. If it starts raining, we'll probably just do it tomorrow night.

Here is a news story I ran across yesterday...


On Wednesday, there was an epic Scrabble battle played on the hardwood (table). People came from all around (nobody at all was there) to witness the arduous challenge at hand. Player one, AJ Schwartz, challenged P. Williams, player two, to the match after word was spread that she, in fact, can rock the house (when she has decent letters) at Scrabble.

Yesterday, however, was not that day.

Play began defensively as Williams, with great skill, blocked off the whole top right-hand corner of the board. And although Schwartz was quoted as saying, "Defense wins championships," this theory was tested and disproved by Williams, who succumbed to defeat by a score of 307 to 206.

Williams was offered an assist by her husband, M. Williams, after she attempted to spell bagel b-a-g-l-e to her utter embarrassment. Although her play started out strong, things went down hill quickly for the twenty-something Scrabble not-so-pro.


Williams was known to take entirely too long for each turn (because she didn't have a doggone thing to play), while Schwartz proceeded to amuse himself by creating words and phrases on his tile holder. Contrary to popular belief, poopy was not had by both players, as Williams attested that she was seated the entire time, except for brief moments when she left the table to care for her son. Schwartz, on the other hand, provided no comment.





Schwartz played the game valiantly with his self-proclaimed combination of both "strength and honor" (whatever the crap that means). Although there were moments it appeared Williams might make a comeback, Schwartz proved more than once that he was the better man (because Williams, after all, is a woman).


To Williams' complete dismay, Schwartz continued to play high-point words while simultaneously blocking possible offensive thrusts using the letters "c" and "k" at the most inopportune (or opportune depending on what perspective) moments.


Williams also found herself stuck with the "q" (dagblastit) and kept it for half the game falling one letter short of the words "quote," "quilt," and "queen" at various points throughout the game.

Upon winning, Schwartz commented that he would like "to give all credit to Bulldog nation for his stellar education and ability to spell three letter words." He also gave credit to Williams (sort of) by saying, "To be the champion, you have to beat the champion." Williams was humiliated, but has agreed to a rematch coming Thanksgiving 2009 (or before if a certain someone (ahem, Jonah) will allow it). The nail-biting rematch is rumored to be a Pay-per-view event, coming soon to a webcast (but not really) near you.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

jonah's first time on the beach

Tuesday, July 7th










Tuesday, July 7, 2009

pictures from yesterday

Our nephew, Will (Matt's sister Kim's youngest)



Matt's cousin, Todd, and his beautiful wife, Keila.

Will and his dad, Andrew



Aliana

Matt's cousin, Jake. I told him that this one was for all the hot honeys that read my blog. This pose is a joke. He doesn't usually sit around like this. Although it suits him, dontcha think?


Kim and Will



Matt's dad and our niece, Abby, ALWAYS have lots of fun playing together on the beach. This game is called, "Abby, don't throw my hat in the ocean. Abby then takes his hat and throws it in the ocean, screaming in delight as Grandaddy chases her back up the beach."





This one is called, "Abby sneaks up behind Grandaddy's chair and pours a bucket of water on his head. He then chases her into the ocean... again, with her screaming in delight."




This is my sorry attempt at artsy beach pictures. I apparently don't do artsy.




The group birthday party. Thirteen kids, tons of presents all opened at once, total mayhem. Pure bliss.


One of Jonah's many presents. He snoozed through the birthday party while daddy opened all his gifts. Can't wait to start playing with them!


And what you're all really here for - cute pictures of Jonah.






A little blurry, but I couldn't resist.






"MOMMY, kiss me RIGHT NOW!!!"


"Oh, shwoo. I feel so much better now. Thanks, Mommy."

Monday, July 6, 2009

independence day

UPDATE: Jonah slept through the night. 11-7. Eight hours of consecutive sleep. You guys do NOT play around. Woo-hoo!
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Shwoo... five minutes to post.

We got to the beach around 6:30 Saturday evening. Here is the house we are staying in. Pretty sweet, huh? It has eight bedrooms, which is nice for the 19 adults and 13 kids (ages 7 and under) who are here together. It can get a little loud and crazy, but very fun! Thankfully, our family granted us the one and only third floor bedroom, so the only one making noise for us is Jonah (but he makes plenty of it... another rough night last night). The main reason for the third floor is that it has a sitting area with a kitchenette and a big dining room table. The counter and table space give us plenty of room to do dressing change, and the other kids aren't allowed up there, so I can keep all his supplies safe and clean, and don't have to worry about kids getting their hands on needles.


When we arrived, everyone was out back under the deck, having a good ol' 4th of July dinner of cheeseburgers and hot dogs. Fortunately we ordered from a local place, since we had all just arrived. Unfortunately, we were missing LOTS of food... like eight burgers, 2 hot dogs, and 12 or 13 orders of fries. So it took a while to get everyone fed.



This is Jonah's first cousin, Abby, and two of Matt's Aunt Katherine's boys, Nathaniel and Nicholas.


Matt's cousin Heather's son, Mikey. Look at those missing teeth! He was so proud.




Matt's cousin Tiffany's son, Charlie. Mr. GQ himself.

Tiffany's daughter, Anna Kate, and Heather's daughter, Aliana. Ali will ham it up for the camera any time you ask. SO fun! She even paused during a small meltdown today long enough for me to get a picture.



Tiffany's youngest son, Jack. He was not so excited about the upcoming 4th of July "show" in which he was supposed to be participating. He wasn't so excited about getting his picture taken either, but little did he know that I can't resist snapping photos of pouty kids. It's a weak spot. Gotcha Jack! Muah-ha-ha!



The 4th of July march. Beautiful Abby in fine form as Lady Liberty (with a chin strap).



All the kids - minus Jack who was still not interested, Coleman already sleeping, and Gabe, singing the loudest from Heaven.


Jonah was a little overwhelmed at all the commotion and the quick pace of activities upon our arrival. Can't a boy eat and poop in peace?

I'll let this sequence of photos speak for itself.


Here comes the lip...




This is Aunt Katherine's youngest son, Jake. He is six days older than Gabe would be. It's fun watching him grow and change, and thinking of Gabe at this age.
After the show.


With his 4th of July blanket. Notice the sticker monogram.


And the mastermind and planner of the whole annual 4th of July shindig - Aunt Melanie!


And here's my handsome hubby on the beach. Aren't I a lucky blessed girl?

And handsome hubby and me on the beach. By the time we got down there, everyone else had packed up for the day, but we enjoyed a few minutes out on the beach. This was yesterday. Today, we got out a little earlier and were able to spend a couple hours. Thanks to Granny and Grandaddy for watching Baby Jonut, so we could have some fun in the sun.
I'll be a day or two behind on posts. I have a lot to post about today too, but it's taken me all day just to get this one up. We're having a great time, and Jonah had a pretty good day today. We are not getting much sleep though, since Jonah has decided that his favorite time to be up (although unhappy) is the middle of the night. Pray for sleep! :)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

desde la playa

I haven't had time to post from the beach yet, but we are here safe and sound. Jonah slept all but the last 20 minutes of the trip to Florence, and slept all the way to the beach from there yesterday. It's 4:00 on Sunday, and Matt and I still haven't made it out to the beach yet. We just finished up dressing change, and I think his parents are going to watch Jonah now so we can head out. So excited!!! I'll miss him once we're out there though. What can I say? I'm totally whipped.

The reason for the late start today? Jonah stayed up screaming from 2am to 4am last night, so we all slept in a little bit this morning. I think the new surroundings are throwing him for a loop a little bit. He's been a lot fussier than usual. However, he was sooooo cute last night. We all went out on the ocean front deck to watch the fireworks, and he took his bottle on my lap, completely relaxed (that's a big deal for him - to be completely relaxed for a bottle), soaking it all in. He LOVED it. And it was so beautiful - almost a full moon, a nice breeze, fireworks literally in all directions. It was great.

I do have some great pictures from the kids' annual 4th of July "show," but haven't had a chance to get them off my camera yet. So check out Katherine's blog for some cute pics. I'll try to post some soon.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July! Off to the ocean (except not really because I'm scared of the ocean... but you get the idea.)

Friday, July 3, 2009

cheese and rice that's a lot of stuff

So, I'll make sure to take pictures, but let me just say that the amount of stuff we're taking on this eight day trip is INSANE. The following is The List. (I really wouldn't advise reading it all because it's boring, but I'm typing it out more so you can see how lengthy it is.)

A week's worth of bandaging supplies (with extras thrown in just in case):
16 8x20 Transfer
30 6x8 Transfer
6 Lite pieces
50 Vaseline gauze
10 needles
50 sterile gauze
2 Polysporin
3 tubs of Aquaphor
12 4x4 Conco gauze
20 3x4 Conco guaze
8 2x4 Conco guaze
10 1x4 hand guaze
LOTS of Tubifast (Jonah likes to pee on his leg dressings)
12 Tongue Depressors
3 Northern Essence Diaper Salve
Clorox wipes
big scissors
silver scissors
suture scissors
plastic tweezers
metal tweezers
12 Chux pads
40 alcohol swabs
2 Lotrimin
saline drops
5 cloth water proof pads
diaper changing pad
finger nail clippers
bath inflatable pad
bath tub
receiving blankets
Jonah bath towels
blankets for bath tub
gel pads
wash cloths for Jonah
blankets for dressing change
dressing change diapers
burp cloths
2 swaddle blankets
boppy
vibratey chair
swing
Pack-n-Play
sleep positioner
pillow cases
mobile
diaper bag
water containers for bath and bulb syringe
bottles
formula
Beneprotein
rice cereal
clothes
clothes for family pictures
laptop
DVD's for Jonah for dressing change
2 hand sanitizer
breast milk
pump
pumping bottles
storage bags
pumping bra
cooler (with aforementioned milk)
SIDS monitor
Dawn
Cetaphil
Johnson and Johnson baby wash
video camera
cloth diapers
wet bag
diaper liners
Simple Green
Charlie's Soap
Grease Lightening
beach towels
towels and wash cloths for us
meds (Carafate, Magic Mouthwash, Tylenol, Prevacid, Mylicon)
syringes
1/2 tsp measuring spoon
pacis
sling
kids' gifts (12 bday presents for our "all the kids" bday party)
toys
camera cord and charger
camera
wet wipes
beach totes
books and magazines
sunscreen
beach chairs and umbrella
swim suits
cover-ups
bottle brushes
Jonah's notebook

And although Jonah very rarely wears clothes unless we are going out, I proceeded to pack every single piece of EB friendly clothing he owns. I don't know why. I couldn't stop myself.

Oh yeah, the final item on my list - birth control. My mom said if she had had to pack all of that stuff, she wouldn't need a reminder to take her birth control.

So, I'm tired. Very tired. And tomorrow we head to Granny and Grandaddy's, and then Saturday it's off to the beach. Kathryn is pet/house sitting for us, so I'm thankful Raya will not be all alone. And maybe she can water my plants too (even though I never ever water them even when I am here). I'll try to get some pictures of all the stuff. It's ridiculous. Jonah's stuff is not even in suitcases. We are so beyond that at this point. You know those big long flat plastic storage containers that fit under your bed? We now have three of them stuffed to the brim with stuff ready to be loaded in the car. And that's without my and Matt's suitcases and most of the big items on the list or things I couldn't pack until today. Sheesh.

I'm going to need a vacation after this vacation.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

NO BLISTERS

UPDATE: Jonah had a HUGE blister on the back of his tongue. After all day of no eating and spitting out the milk and Pedialyte, I finally just put my finger in his mouth, pressed down his tongue, and took a look with a flashlight. HUGE BLISTER. So I called the doctor, and they said they wouldn't lance it for fear of infection. So I called the DebRA nurse, and she said I needed to lance it so it wouldn't get any bigger. WHAT? I mean, I knew that was probably the answer, but how in the world do you lance a blister on the back of your baby's tongue? So then I started crying just thinking about it. But just about the time Matt got home and we were trying to formulate a plan of action (which included an extremely sharp pair of tweezers... please, don't ask), we looked again, and it seems as if it has drained on it's own. So then Matt tried to feed him and got him to take about three ounces. Praise God! Doesn't make up for the day of nothing, but it is plenty enough to keep him hydrated. So hopefully we are out of the woods. The question is what happens if the skin sloughs off the top of that blister? I don't know how badly that will hurt him or how that will affect his eating. So we'll just have to wait and see. I feel at least a little encouraged that he was able to eat a bit. Poor thing. Sometimes it's just too much.
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Just finished dressing change. No blisters from our doctor's visit! I can't believe it. Honestly, the only explanation is God, and I'm just so, so thankful to HIM and to you guys for praying. Actually, Jonah's skin looked really great today. I barely had to drain anything, and the ones I did drain were tiny, tiny. He has a pretty raw spot on his right foot, but that seems to be the only thing really bothering him at all. His face is even clearing up. I'm slathering his face with Aquaphor before bedtime, and every time we get up with him at night. And I recoated it just now after dressing change. It seems to be helping. I'm so encouraged. Thank you for praying!
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However (doesn't there always seem to be a "however" with Jonah), he is not eating AT ALL. Normally, it's a fight, but I can still get him to take two ounces every couple hours minimum. Today - nothing. He latches on to the bottle, takes one suck, spits out the bottle, and starts crying. I guess he has some blistering on his tongue or cheeks, because he is just not able to suck at all. So I think we got him to take about 20 cc's using a dropper, but really, beyond that, he just wasn't interested. And even with the dropper, he probably spits out about half of what goes in. So anyway, if you could be praying about this too, that would be so great. Between the two things, I'd rather him have blisters. He requires so many extra calories to heal and regenerate skin, it's especially scary when he won't eat. But this is a lot worse than usual. He's only done this one other time, and he started eating about two hours later. He hasn't really eaten since midnight last night. He did eat about an ounce at 4am. Please pray that this will pass quickly, that healing will occur in his mouth/throat, and that he will begin eating again very soon. Also, please pray that in the meantime, he will not be starving. So far, he's been in good spirits and has been satisfied but what little we did manage to get down. But I'm not sure how long that will last. He's got to be so hungry. He's sleeping now, but I just pray that when he wakes up he'll be able to eat.

Why is it that the bottom always drops out on a weekend when the doctor's office is closed or two days before you go out of town? Our plans might be changing if we can't get this under control. In the scheme of things, the beach doesn't really matter. I just want him to eat. Please be in prayer for Jonah.