So glad all of you are back. Apparently when I posted the pics of Jonah's first time on the beach, for some reason, that messed the blog up. I could still view it, some of you could still view it, but many were having problems. I have NO idea what it was in that post that threw everything for a loop... it was just a picture post. You could still view it just fine with Firefox or some versions of Internet Explorer, but most IE users couldn't see it anymore. Don't ask me. So anyway, I took that post down, and all is right with the blog again... except that it is missing one adorable post of one adorable baby and his first time on the beach. But anyway, glad to have you back. Sorry for the problems.
Jonah is trying to sleep through the night now. He slept all night five out of the eight nights we were away, and he slept all the way through last night. If he can eat enough before he goes to sleep, he'll make it all the way through, but this week has been an extremely rough week on the eating front. I'm so discouraged and completely frustrated. He used to take one to two ounces before he started screaming and fighting, but now he's screaming within the first five minutes. Sometimes he'll only take about five sucks before it all goes to pot. I don't know if it's reflux or lactose intolerance or an allergy to the milk protein or internal blistering... but it is driving me crazy. Really. Crazy. I'm tempted to just try the Alimentum formula and forget the breast milk end of things, but I'm so torn. I mean, if he's having trouble with milk, then I need to let it go, but we've kept infection away for so long, I just worry about stopping the breast milk. But then again, eating is better than not eating, and the struggle it is for him to eat probably does more harm than good. I certainly don’t want to cause him more pain. I just don't know. I've been in tears about it all the last couple days and have given God a pretty big piece of my mind about it all too. I’m going to try just formula today and see if that makes a difference. It makes me sick that I can’t give him what he needs.
On the diaper front - I'm now using disposables with the elastic cut out inside the cloth diapers. Joy. All the hassle and mess and laundry of cloth diapering while still having to spend money on disposables. It's like the eating thing - all the time and hassle of pumping while still having to buy $25 a can formula.
Can you tell it's been a rough week?
Sorry to be such a downer today, but you guys know this blog goes both ways. I'm not much into sugar-coating things. And some days, as cute as Jonah is and as many smiles as he gives me and as much as he lights up my world - I still get ticked off at the unfairness of it all. But please, please pray for the eating situation. I just feel like I'm reaching my limit and if something doesn't give, I'll go nuts. Literally. We have another GI appointment in a couple weeks, but if moving to formula doesn’t help things, I’ll probably try to move the appointment up.
The beach was fun and more relaxing than our “normal,” and it went a lot smoother than I expected. It wasn't really a typical beach vacation, but I did get to pass Jonah around a little more than usual and Matt's parents would keep him for us in the afternoons. So mostly for me that meant longer showers, getting to read a book, and putting on make-up. The highlight of the vacation: brushing my teeth before 3pm. Just kidding. (Well, kidding about that being the highlight, not so kidding about what time it is before I normally brush my teeth. Disgusting, I know.) We got to go out to the beach a couple times, and one afternoon, Matt and I went to the outlets and did a little "now that I'm finally skinny" shopping. We did spend about 15 minutes in the hot tub one day, but it's a little less relaxing when all you can think is, "I definitely have to take a shower before I can even think about touching Jonah after sitting here in this cesspool of germs." Once the hot tub becomes a cesspool, it's not quite as relaxing or romantic as you'd hope it to be.
I finally went grocery shopping last night. Besides picking up a few items here and there, I haven’t done a big grocery trip since before Jonah was born. Our fridge was pretty empty to say the least. Matt kept Jonah while I went, and I probably spent two hours getting everything (after a stop-off at Chick-fil-A to get a large sweet tea to help sustain me through the task at hand… speaking of Chick-fil-A… Oh, man… the Chick-fil-A sauce. Thank you, Thank you for introducing me. I had no idea what I was missing. I was so unschooled in the ways of Chick-fil-A, but I have learned the error of my ways. Is it bad that I want to value-size my fries just to have more of something to dip in the sauce?)
And finally, on a more serious note, I, along with so many others, am missing Paul today. His service was at 3:00 this afternoon. I didn’t get to go, because I didn’t have anyone to keep Jonah, but they presented live through a webcast here. I would encourage you, if you knew Paul, but were unable to attend his service, watch it. It was beautiful and funny and full of praise and worship… just the way Paul would have wanted it. And if you didn’t know Paul, but would like to know the kind of man he was, I would encourage you to watch it too. The recurring theme of the service: Paul’s passion in life was to really SHOW the love of Jesus. He never stopped living for Christ, cared for people fiercely, never ran out of room to love just one more person. And as his sister said at the service – he was a pretty big guy, but he needed to be that big to hold such a huge heart.