It's not that I don't want to adopt, but there's part of me that is scared out of my ever-lovin' mind. I know the blessings will be so much greater than the trials, but I get scared about being uncomfortable. Does that make me sound like the most selfish person in the world? I know God has called us to do this. I know it is a good thing, the right thing, a positive thing. But still, the unknown is so scary. But my God is bigger than my fears and doubts, and I know that He faithfully promises good to those who seek Him. So I know that even when it's hard, uncomfortable, and filled with unknowns, His good and His plan will reign. And even when things may not feel good to me, God sees good that I cannot see, and sees the outcome of struggles that I don't understand.
All of that to say that our PPA (not sure what that stands for, but it's our home study) was approved by our agency and our license is being processed by the state. I'm not sure when our license will arrive, but with the approval of our PPA, we can now be considered for children that need families.
For those of you who are wondering what in the world I'm talking about, I've posted several times about it here. We are looking to adopt school age children (or child) from foster care (I think we officially said ages 4-12, although if the situation was right for our family, we would consider other ages), and are looking to adopt a boy or boys (sibling pair), just because of our rooming situation. But we also trust that God's plan is THE plan, so we are open to whatever He leads us to.
So prayers are appreciated as we embark on this journey. Given Jonah's age and our circumstances, we could be waiting for a very long time. Or we could be matched more quickly. We just don't know. But we are patient to wait, hopeful for the future, and trusting that God knows our hearts, knows our fears, knows our children, and holds it all in the palm of His hand.
Thanks for being here with us and always encouraging us along the way.
God is good.