This was Vanessa's status earlier today.
I woke up early this morning in a panic because I couldn't find Anton. I couldn't remember which bed I put him in to sleep. Then I realized he was gone and my heart broke all over again...
I can normally get though the day okay but waking up in the mornings is the worst. It's when I first wake up that it hits me... That it really happened and he isn't here...
I miss him so much.
Anton's plane just landed in Texas. I know he is in Heaven but the thought of his little body being in a different state than me is too much to handle.
Guys, can you even imagine? I can a little. I remember the morning after Gabe's funeral was the worst - realizing that I could never touch or feel him again... never again hold him in my arms. Now to imagine having to do that with a child I got to know and love about breaks my heart in two. Will you pray for my dear friend? Mornings are the absolute worst, and if you've ever lost someone so close to you, you know that feeling when you wake up and realize it's NOT a nightmare and the grief physically presses in on you to the point where you feel like you can't breathe. And you relive it all again, and it's almost too much to bear.
My body is in North Carolina but parts of my heart are in Minnesota and Texas. I can divide mine into three parts. Hers is shattered into a million pieces. Will you pray for my friend?
Many have asked how to help, and Vanessa has requested that as people feel led, to please contribute to Dr. Tolar's continuing groundbreaking research. When you would ask Anton what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would say that he wanted to be just like Dr. Tolar and find a cure for EB. His research and trial are the closest thing we've ever had to a cure. We are close. I can feel it. And Anton was a part of that.
If you would like to contribute in honor of Anton, to help realize his dream, you can do so HERE (you can also read more details here as well).
Thank you for your continued prayers for peace and comfort. They will be moving back to Texas on Tuesday so please be in prayer for all of that too. They're having to say goodbye to their Minnesota family and their home for the last 10 months and going home without Anton.
Lord, wrap them tightly. Fill those grief suffocating spaces with your life giving breath and sustenance. Hem them in on all sides and make each moment bearable enough to survive to the next. Give them moments of joy in the mourning. Moments of laughter in the sadness. Fill their hearts with the joy of who Anton was and comfort them in their brokenness.