slices of life, vol. 9

After singing “Only a Boy Named David” to Jonah at bedtime, Jonah and I were discussing the story of David and Goliath.

Me: What was the Giant’s name?
Jonah: Goliath.

Me: What was the little boy’s name?
Jonah: David. But Mommy, David killed Goliath. And Goliath need to go to the hospital.

Me: Oh he did?
Jonah: Yeah, he need to see the doctor.

Matt was reading the creation story to Jonah from his Jesus Storybook Bible. When it got to the part where it says that Adam and Eve realized they were naked, Jonah said, “Does Adam have a penis? Why Eve not have a penis?”

(One night at bedtime.)

Jonah: Why David kill Goliath?

Matt: Because Goliath was very bad.

Jonah: Goliath have to go to hospital?

Matt: No, he was already dead. It was too late.

Jonah: Why Goliath so big?

Matt: Because he was a giant.

Jonah: Did he have a giant penis?

Matt: (laughing uncontrollably)

Jonah: Did he have a giant potty?

I need go potty, Mommy! Hurry, Mommy! Hurry! My butt crack startin' to go poopy in my underwear.

Jonah: What’s Grampa’s (talking about his Great Grampa) whole name?

Matt: Gerald Alan Williams

Jonah: What’s Grandaddy’s whole name?
Matt: Gerald Alan Williams Jr.

Me: They call Grampa “Big Gerry.” And they call Grandaddy “Little Gerry.”

Jonah: Who’s the Medium Gerry?

We were watching Jurassic Park, and it was the part where the dinosaur ate the guy sitting on the toilet.

Jonah: That dinosaur just ate the potty while he was trying to go pee pee!!!

A few weeks ago Jonah poured out all of his bubbles on the deck on purpose. I got on to him and told him he had made a bad choice. Matt’s Aunt Melanie came a week or so later and was trying to blow bubbles with the bubble remnants left in the bottle. She was having to tilt it a lot to get the bubbles out. She tipped it too far one time and spilled bubbles all over her foot and shoe.

Jonah: Aunt Melanie, you made a BAD CHOICE!

Typical Jonah, when G wakes up from bedtime or nap. He goes in, puts his hand through the crib rails and rubs his head.

"Hey G. I woked you up. It's okay. I'm right here. Daddy's at work, but he'll be back later. It's a break day! We don't have to do new wraps today. Are you okay? Don't cry. Did you lost your sock? Mommy fixing you a bottle. She be right back."

During prayers one Sunday night.
Matt: Dear God, thank you for this day.
Jonah: Dear God, thank you for this day.
Matt: Thank you that we got to go to church.
Jonah: Thank you that we got to go to church.
Matt: And learn about Jesus.
Jonah: Hey! We learned about John the Baptist! 

Doing Jonah's memory verse one night.
Me: Never stop praying.
Jonah: Never stop praying.
Me: First Thessalonians 5:17
Jonah: First (incoherent word) 5:17
Me: Jonah, can you say Thess-a-lonians?
Jonah: I just like to call it bolognians.

Jonah, before dressing change last night: "I don't like new wraps. It's too boobooly."

Jonah, upon waking up with bed-head.
"I'm trying to stay my crazy hair, but it's not paying attention to me."

One day Baby G was fussing because he was tired but wouldn’t give it up.

Jonah: What's wrong with Babe?
Matt’s Mom: I think he's tired but doesn't want to go to sleep.
Jonah: Let's take a closer look. Maybe hugs will help.