slices of life, vol. 8

Jonah: I want to snuggle.

Matt: Do you want to snuggle Deac?
Jonah: (very matter of fact) No, I not want to snuggle animals. I want to snuggle peoples.

(Upon taking Jonah’s leg wraps off before bath.)

Me: Oh, look, Jonah! Your legs look really good. No boo boos!

Jonah: Yeah, Mom! Just like in Bible story.

Me: What Bible story?

Jonah: Like no boo boos up in Heaven.

(Matt had to take my van into the shop one day, so I was driving our Escape.)

Jonah: It’s a mix up day!

Me: Yep, we had to switch cars today.

Jonah: You driving Daddy’s car?

Me: Yep.

Jonah: Mommy driving Daddy’s car. Mommy, you not a Daddy!!!

Matt: What's your full name?

Jonah: Jonah I-like-stander (Alexander) Lilliams

One night we were reading the story of Moses and the Burning Bush to Jonah from the Jesus Storybook Bible.

Matt: Look, Jonah! That bush is on fire! It’s burning!

Jonah: We need to go get a hose! Put fire out!

We got some new microdry foamy bath mats for the master bathroom. Upon entering our bathroom the next morning…

Jonah: (GASP) What is that?

Me: That’s our new bath mat.

Jonah: (Stepping on it, feigning disgust) It’s too squashy.

Jonah was watching me while I was putting on my makeup.

Jonah: What’s that?
Me: That’s mascara.

Jonah: What’s your scara?

When Jonah talks about the aliens (we call them Martians) on the Toy Story movies, he calls them “Charmains”, pronounced just like the toilet paper. Took us a while to figure out what he was talking about.

Jonah was playing with his remote control car and accidentally hit Deac with it.

Me: Jonah, tell Deac you’re sorry.

Jonah: I’m sorry, Deac. (In high pitched voice) Ruff! That’s okay.

Jonah: Mommy, how you say “I sorry” in Spanish.

Me: Lo siento.

Jonah: Lo seento.

Me: Jonah, you can ask me how to say anything in Spanish and I can probably tell you.

Jonah: How you say “poo poo” in Spanish?
Me: Boo boo?

Jonah: No, (enunciating) POOOOOP.

Jonah had helped me make brownies the night before. The next day –

Me: Jonah, you want a bite of my brownie?

Jonah: No. I just makes them. I don’t eat them.

Me: You just makes them?

Jonah: Yeah. I don’t eat them. I don’t like them already.

Me: Jonah, God loves us so much, who did He send down to Earth?
Jonah: Granny and Grandaddy???!!!

Me: No, not Granny and Grandaddy. He sent His Son. Who is God’s son?
Jonah: JESUS!!!

Me: Right! And where was Jesus born?

Jonah: In a school?
Me: No, not in a school. He wasn’t born in a hospital or a house or a school. He was born where the animals stay. Where is that?
Jonah: (with certainty) THE ZOO!!!

(Stalling bedtime.)
Jonah: Mommy, I have a NEW great idea!

Me: You do? What is it?
Jonah: How ‘bout hugging and kissing?

You know you have a medical needs child when he calls his balls his gauze.

Jonah is very into what people’s names are. What’s Daddy’s name? What’s Mommy’s name? What’s Nana’s name? Etc .

Every night we end Jonah’s prayers with “In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

Jonah: What Jesus’ name?

Me: Um, Jesus Christ.

Jonah: Noooo. Jesus’ name Amen.

Me: Jonah, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Jonah: I want to drive a crane.

Me: Oh yeah. You’re going to drive a crane and help build things? What are you going to build? Hospitals? Schools?
Jonah: No. I gonna build Heaven.