Tuesday, April 20, 2010

blogging break and sweet baby gabe

Hi Friends,

Nothing much to report today. We've hung around the house mostly. Jonah's CDSA (Child Development Services Agency... or something along those lines) Case Manager came today and we did his review of our goals and objectives and updated some of those.Thanks, Ms. B!

Then we had to go pick up prescriptions and picked up some lunch to go at Panera. Tasty, as always.

Jonah took a good nap, and then my mom and Aunt Shaina came to watch him tonight. Matt and I went to eat at El Maguey (the best Mexican food EVAH!) and picked up a few things at Target. Because, honestly friends, what's a date night without a little Target run? Nothing says romance like that red bullseye.

I know all of this is super boring (it's just been that kind of day), but my real reason for writing is to say...

I'll be taking a few days off from blogging.

Our Sweet Gabe died this day two years ago.
Tomorrow, two years ago, I checked into the hospital and was induced.
And on Thursday, two years ago, we said hello and goodbye to our first son.

And my heart is breaking all over again.

I have a post set to publish for Gabe on Thursday, but other than that, you may not hear from me for a few days. I'll be sure to check in early next week, but we covet your prayers during this difficult time.

This Thursday is Gabe's Day, next Thursday is Jonah's g-tube surgery.

I'm sad and I'm terrified, but I'm praying. I'm trying so hard to trust. I'm leaning like I've never leaned before.

So I'll see you next week, Friends.

May God bless you the way you have blessed our family. Thank you for everything.

In Him,
Patrice

64 comments:

The Oxford Family said...

Love the Target comment :)

I rarely comment but I do read...daily in fact. You and your family are in my thoughts always. I can't imagine nor will I pretend to imagine what these last 2 years have been like. I hope these next few days you are wrapped in peace and love.

Tricia said...

I will keep praying. That God's peace surrounds you. That Jonah stays healthy and strong and ready for surgery. That you are comforted beyond measure. That you find sweet rest in the arms of Jesus. May God hold you close and bless you abundantly this week, Patrice

Drea :) said...

My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip or to be moved; He Who keeps you will not slumber. Psalm 121:2-3

I love this verse- it reassures us that the Lord knows/sees/hears all-no matter what time of day- He hears our cries and knows our every need.

May the Lord send His comfort and peace to you!!! You are an inspiration to so many of us that have only met you in the blog world!!!!

Miss K said...

I will be praying for you in the coming days as you deal with your loss all over again. May God bring you peace that passes all understanding and comfort as you remember Gabe. God bless you, Matt, and Jonah.

Morning Glory Minis said...

My heart is breaking for you, and at the same time I am so overjoyed at how far Jonah has come.. I have never met him (and probably will never get to, so sad) but I am SO in love with that kid! We are always thinking of you and praying for a miracle. I believe you are making the right choice with Jonah's surgery, but that is just my opinion. Take care of yourself, and take the time to grieve.. our thoughts are with you these days.

Angie said...

Glad you could have a night out!

I'm praying for you through this difficult time of remembering Gabe and what you lost. Also am praying about Jonah's g-tube surgery.

It's so cool how we can live across the ocean and have never met yet Jonah is a household word around our home. We pray for him a lot. He is so beautiful.

Thank you for your honesty and transparency, Patrice. Praying that you feel the Lord's nearness more than ever before.

chinamoon1420 said...

I can't imagine what you must be feeling but I do hope you are feeling God's arms wrapped solidly around you and I hope you can feel His peace surrounding you. I am praying for you, Matt, Jonah and Gabe. Rest easy these next few days and let God have the driver's seat.

(I know...easier said)

Much love and lots of prayer to you and yours.

Jessica K. said...

No day passes without me thinking of Jonah... When I think of Jonah I immediately think of you two and his brother Gabe. I am praying for you and I will say many extra prayers as you are facing some difficult days..
Sending my love to you..

Wanda Wilkinson said...

Find peace & strength in the Lord. Prayers & love for all of you.

Love Wanda

brightleigh said...

Thinking of you guys today and tomorrow especially, but always know you all are close to my heart all of the time. Hope your weekend is therapeutic. Prayers and thoughts...much love!

crcater said...

Praying for your family. My Jonah had his g-tube surgery at 30 months, and it really was a stress reliever.

Kim M said...

I'll be praying for you and Matt as you love and grieve sweet Baby Gabe and love on sweet Baby Jonah. I cannot imagine what you have experienced over the last couple of years, but I know the ONE who knows and cares. Praying for comfort and peace and praise that you will see Gabe again.

(((((((hugs)))))) from Michigan

Linda said...

My Dear Patrice:
I am sitting here crying reading your blog. Since I have become a member of this small EB family, I have cried almost every day. Just remember that there are so many people who love your family and praying everyday.
I hope you feel God's loving arms surrounding you when you need them the most. God Is Good All The Time. Love Leah's Nana

Jill said...

Sweet Patrice, My prayers are with you and Matt this week and next. Our Lord and King, he gives and takes away...My 3 month old niece Addie passed away 2 years ago next week. 2 weeks ago my Godson and nephew Luke was born. He gives and takes away....Praying for your comfort as you remember sweet Gabe, and praying Jonah's procedure goes smoothly! Love ya!!
Your Sister in Christ,
Jill

RLR said...

Praying for you - for comfort during the next few days, for strength as you face Jonah's surgery, for peace through it all. Blessings on your sweet family - all four of you.

The Fishers said...

Praying for you and Matt during this difficult time. I cannot imagine the pain of losing the child and I pray God provides you comfort and peace.

Precious 3 said...

You've got our prayers honey. Asking God to wrap you tighter in His arms, that you will feel His incredible peace during your grief.

nancy said...

I will be missing you, Jonah and your most recent "happy" updates! Take your time being away and we will be right here waiting for your return! Can't wait to hear if Gabe's dogwood tree has blooms! Praying for peace as you enter into the next few days missing your sweet first-born and Baby J's surgery.

Toni :O) said...

Still praying for you like always to help lift you up. I cannot imagine your pain but hopefully with the passage of time, your grief eases. Chuckled at your Target comment, I feel the same way chicka...heart that store, so much! Take care, enjoy your bloggy break and we'll all still be here waiting patiently.

Mindy said...

Our family is praying for your family - especially this week!

The Chaney's said...

Praying for you and sending you extra hugs.

Jimmie's Auntie Amber said...

Our sweet Gracie passed away 2 years ago April 1th and was born on the 19th. We feel your pain.

Lari said...

Glad you and Matt had a nice night out. Praying for all of you during this hard time. Praying for Jonah, and all the medical staff for his g-tube next week.

Lexie said...

Patrice/Matt and Family--thinking of you all these next few days especially and hoping and praying Jonah's surgery goes as smoothly as a surgery can go.

starrchasers said...

"And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing;everlasting joy shall be upon their heads;they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." -Isaiah 35:10

God bless you today, and comfort you with this great hope of a tomorrow with no more sorrow and pain. Praying for you all. -The Starrs in Colorado

Anita Johnson said...

I too think of you often...my baby days are long past, and I will probably be a grandmother in the next few years, but you never stop thinking about your kids. I will pray for you this week as you celebrate Gabe's life and I have Jonah's surgery date on my calendar to remember to pray for you and your family that week too. Hold tight to God's promises...strength for today, hope for tomorrow.

Cristin said...

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

Nothing is impossible and God is with you!!!!

Praying for you always!

Beth said...

I can't even imagine and I don't feel that I could ever say the right words... but my prayers are with you, Matt, Gabe and Jonah.

Gretchen said...

Patrice,

I echo all of the sentiments here, as well as give much thanks to you and to you and Jonah and Matt for teaching me more about love.

Because of your blog, God's love was in abundance at my home this Sunday afternoon when Ellie, another EB sweetie from your blog list, arrived at my front door. I did not know she was coming! It was a joyous and amazing half hour spent with her and her father and my son. The two played together and we became fast friends.

I feel as if I have been blessed beyond words to have held one of God's rarest miracles in my arms. Her smile will warm my heart for YEARS to come.

We spoke about Jonah as well. The family did not realize you had a link to Ellie on your site and they were so appreciative of that. My prayers for you and Jonah and all those effected by EB are constant and I am confident that God will continue to protect him.

All our best,
Gretchen and family

Devon said...

i'll be thinking and praying for you this week...

its been a little over 2 years since our sweet babies died. the pain is still really raw...

you are an amazing mom and you handle your grief and your life with jonah with so much grace! you are an inspiration to me!

Lindsey Sowers said...

Sending love and prayers your way. I love you dearly and hope you have a relaxing trip. Happy early birthday to sweet, sweet Gabe!

mooneyequalsmc2 said...

I will be praying extra prayers for you this week, Patrice. God surrounds you, you know that, and He will be there when you are at your lowest, no matter what. Take the time that you need and know that so many people are lifting you in prayer during this difficult period.

We scheduled Corrigan's gtube surgery too, May 3rd. We will begin our new path nearly at the same time! I will be checking your blog for learning advice since you will be a few days ahead of us!

mindy

Jennifer Strosnider said...

aw sweet girl. love you, love your babies.

Laura A said...

Love you, Patrice. Praying for peace and encouragement for you and Matt during this time. Am praying for God's protection for Jonah before, during and after the surgery, and for His hand to guide the medical team.

I so wish that I could do more - please let me know if there's ANYTHING we can do!

Love from TX!
Laura

Country Roads said...

I, too, continue to keep up with your posts. It's okay for you to take a break from the posting. You and your family come first.

Your family and a cure for EB are always in my prayers. Will be thinking you during these next few days as you reflect on your time with Gabe two years ago. Prayers for a successful surgery next week.

Pati @ A Crafty Escape said...

Please know that we will be praying for your family during this most difficult time. And we will be here for you when you are ready to return.

Lisa said...

That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12:10)

mom nana nelson said...

I pray peace is your Patrice & Matt.
Your family is forever in my prayers and always in my thoughts.

Melissa said...

Sweet little Gabe. Praying that the balm of the Holy Spirit's presence comforts your heart this week. I can imagine Gabe getting a little extra birthday lovin' in Heaven. Blessings, Mama.

Heather from Ontario Canada said...

Oh dear Patrice my heart breaks for you. I pray that God will continue to be your strength ....That He will carry your burdens with you. That you will feel Him close by your side as you remember your dear son Gabe and care for your dear son Jonah. Blessings to you and Matt.

jandkland said...

I know your heart is heavy. I'm glad you got to go out with Matt and have time together as a couple. Please know that all of us are thinking of you, remembering Gabe, and praying for you as you ache with the memory of him and also with the dreams that you never got to experience with him. We are also praying for Jonah's procedure and for your peace deep within.

Kelley in GA

jardinera linda said...

Animo, Patrice y Matt.

Estoy leyendo ahora el blog de Care for Anabella donde explica la colocación del g-tube.

EB es horrible, pero también hace posible que pasen cosas bonitas, como la amistad y el apoyo entre las familias que la padeceis.

Un abrazo fuerte desde Mallorca.

the Spocks said...

May you feel God's peace. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Numbers 6:26

Cyndee said...

We'll be praying and sharing in your grief. Next Friday is our Jack's day birthday, followed by the anniversary of his death 2 weeks later....

Tracie said...

I'm sorry :( I pray the next few days are kind to you. I'm sorry that you know this kind of pain (I know it well, too).
Many hugs and prayers being sent your way.

ElleAuvil said...

God bless you, Matt, Gabe, and Jonah. Praying for you in Virginia. I was in Winston-Salem and High Point over the weekend and thought about being in "y'alls neck of the woods" constantly. And prayed for all of you.

Erin said...

prayers to you, matt, jonah, and everyone else in ya'll's family. may you feel wrapped in His arms. i can't even beging to understand what ya'll are feeling. much love, prayers, and blessings from ga~ erin

Alex(andra) said...

I'll be saying extra prayers for all of you the next few days. I hope you find the comfort and strength you need. Much love.

mom nana nelson said...

Patrice you & yours are so very much in my thoughts and forever in my heart and prayers....
from Long Island, New York I send lots of hugs, love, and faith your way.

Patricia
p.s. I did stop by earlier today, but just had to come back again...
I have this feeling, Gabe's tree is going to surprise you one day and bring much happiness and joy to your heart!!!

Cristi said...

Keep leaning girl. LEANING on HIS everlasting, arms, everlasting all encompassing, loving arms. Lifting you up, In His Name.

Amanda said...

Happy Earth day Patrice, and Happy Heaven Day Gabe.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Praying for you mightily during this difficult time Patrice. I just can't even imagine what you are going through and I think that you are an amazing, godly young woman.

I pray that you feel the strength of God this week like never before.

In Him,
Beth

Jennifer Finney said...

Sending prayers, love, and strength your way. My daughter, Ava was born sleeping July 2008. It is hard, but I have something to look forward to. It will be a great reunion, thats for sure. Thinking of you!

ryleeandnoahsmom said...

Patrice-
I stumbled across your blog about a year ago, and have read it faithfully since. I have never commented before on your blog, but felt I needed to today. It was only a few months ago that I realized that you and I both gave birth on the same day...April 22, 2008. We gave birth to our third child, a girl, and our story has been so much different than your own. I read your words with tears streaming down my face. To know we were even in labor at the very same time...There is simply nothing I can say that will make your pain lessen. However, know that you and your family have been in my prayers so many times. We continue to pray for Jonah's healing, and ask that the Great Comforter would give you His peace on this, the anniversary of Gabe's "going home day".
Jen

jessica said...

Patrice- I cant imagine how hard this day must be for you. Just know we are all thinking about you.

Jessica

Libby said...

My heart aches for you and your family and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Debbie,mother of two said...

Praying for you and Matt. I am sure this is a difficult time for you so I am praying the Lord gives you strength and peace to get through the next few days. Praying you feel the Lord's arms wrapping around your family during this time.

Rachelle said...

Tears. Gabe's post was beautifully written. God bless and comfort you and Matt.

Jennifer said...

Praying for you all, sweet Patrice! Happy Birthday sweet Gabe! You have a very special mommy! Praying for your little brother's big day. Jennifer in Southeast, NC

dragonflyz in June said...

You are always in my thoughts, my heart and my prayers. I pray for sweet Jonah, for you and Matt as you walk with Jesus. I can't imagine the pain you have and are still dealing with in losing Gabe and in Jonah's condition. I pray that the procedure that Jonah will undergo will go like clockwork and he will bounce back.
Peace & Blessings
Crystal

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura said...

Oops..deleted instead of edited!

Praying for you...you are brave and courageous. Asking God to comfort your heart and be as near as each breath you take. We will be with our babies in a moment...a moment.

Asking for grace for all of the moments until then.
Sending love to you

Sara said...

Patrice, I have something I'd like to send you. Please check your email that you have here on the blog for people to contact you.
Sending many prayers, hugs, and so much love,
xoxox~
Sara

cathie said...

I haven't commented in so long...and yet - I read the updates, especially about Gabe and I just cry. Gabe went to be with Jesus a day shy of a year after my nephew - I'm sure Max met him there...and we too had a sad/happy birthday rememberance this week - ours for a 3rd birthday, and us too - being torn between sadness and joy. We send balloons up to max w/ messages...Ty's said "See you soon." A friend saw it and kind of chuckled - I guess his thought was that I was wishing one of us dead or something...but I corrected him quickly - reminding him that Jesus could come back and will - any minute and 2 that there is no time there...it is as you say - that Gabe will turn and say, "oh - there you are.." and that - is a rich blessing to know - so take heart - in knowing we will see him soon - and we can all be so jealous of the peace and joy Gabe and Max are experiencing ahead of us...will be praying for you tomorrow too - as this is all such a hard time...
oh - and on a lighter note...
WE TOTALLY go to TARGET on date nights...
:)
hugs to you - as always.