Monday, March 8, 2010

blog and blogger issues

Blog Issues:

So apparently the blog is freaking out a little bit. Sorry to those of you who haven't been able to get the content to load. I don't know if you remember this or not, but it happened back in July too after I put up one of our beach posts. Apparently there was something in the birthday post that I posted Saturday night (a photo I guess???) that displeased the blog and so it decided not to load in some browsers. I don't know which ones loaded it and which ones didn't. On my computers everything looked good. Anyway, I took the birthday post down in hopes that that would make it load correctly again. Y'all will have to tell me, because, like I said, everything's looking good on my end. I'll probably try to put the post back up tomorrow evening and see if the same problem happens again. What I need to do is take down the photos on that post and repost one photo at a time until I figure out what the problem is, but who has that kind of time? Definitely not me.

So anyway, sorry if the blog is wonky over the next few days. It will be trial and error.

Did I mention I hate blogger?
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Blogger Issues

I am not in a good place right now. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted, completely frustrated, and overwhelmed. Nothing feels doable - even putting on makeup seems like a HUGE chore. The garage needs to be cleaned out, our basement is a wreck, all of our closets need to be gone through and organized. And between my funk (yes, it's back) and Jonah taking two hours to take bottles/nap in my arms (the only way he'll do it), and being just generally discontent if I'm in the room but not holding him, I can't get anything done. The truth is, it all needs to be done, I want it to be done, but I have no motivation for anything. Really. Anything.

No, I haven't been to the doctor yet.

Yes, I know I need to go.

All of that to say that between blog issues (did I mention I have little motivation to figure things out?) and blogger issues, posts may be few(er) and far(ther) between.

Feel free to stick around but no promises as to when things will be back to "normal."

I covet your prayers.
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In the meantime, you can check out the photos from Jonah's party that my friend from church, Jenn Lewis, took. You can see them here.

46 comments:

Heather said...

Patrice,
You have my prayers. Both of my kids went through a time of not wanting me out of their sight, and it can get really overwhelming. Especially on top of everything you already have on your plate. Praying for your peace, health and that you find every bit of energy that you need.
Heather

Mommyto3 said...

Jonah is only so little for so long. Snuggle him while you can. I held my son for as long as I could during his naps. It was so enjoyable, and I wouldn't trade it for a folded pile of laundry or dab of makeup. Get what you can done, the rest can wait. These are the moments that will get you through. Hold them dear.

Karen said...

Praying for you! God knows the need and will supply it! Remember not to be too hard on yourself. I know that when things get a bit overwhelming I have to constantly hand it all over to God and rely on Him to see me through.

Blessings to You,
Karen

Tricia said...

I will keep praying for you. I cannot imagine what it feels like to walk in your shoes. I do know that all of the things that need to be done can wait. Take care of you and hold Jonah now while he is small. He won't always want you to be there 24/7.
Blessings to you and yours.

Anita Johnson said...

Dear Patrice,
I have been following your blog for awhile and just wanted to say I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I know the blogger issues are small compared to some things in life, but I was almost in tears over it one night too. ( and I'm 51 :-)) When stuff like that doesn't work, it's really out of our control and so frustrating. Blogging is a great outlet, when it goes well. We are empty nest folks now, but reading about Jonahs sleeping and eating patterns brings it all back. Parenting is very hard work and you deal with tough medical challenges beyond what most of us can imagine. You do a great job. We can see it in the photos and in the love you write in your posts. Hang in there...you are prayed for.
Anita in Wisconsin

Janel said...

You know you always have my prayers and my ear whenever you need it! Feel free to call me whenever!

M has had some "mommy" issues lately too - she wouldn't drink her milk tonight b/c daddy made it and not mommy - i mean REALLY?!?!?

Anyway - I hope you can pull yourself out of the funk soon!!!

btw - blogger sucks sometimes!

The Lesters said...

I'm so sorry you are in a bad place right now. I've been in that place and it is the worst feeling. You will be in my prayers.

Amanda said...

I'll be praying for your current situation.

I'm a do-er, and as a mom of 4 with 2 in school and 2 home with me, it makes it hard to get the things done that I want/need to get done without feeling like I am not spending enough quality time with them. I've noticed that these stages of low--for me--seem to come and go. I think motherhood is much more exhausting mentally than it is physically, and I would never have thought that 10 years ago. Being a kid, it seemed like parents had it easy. But then now being a mom, there are SOOO many things that we wonder and ponder about on a daily basis that our kids will never understand until they become parents.

Keep your head up, and know that many people will be lifting you up in prayer tonight.

Laura A said...

Hi Patrice-

I can see the blog again, so it looks like Saturday's post was causing issues. Bummer!

I'm praying for you to be encouraged and have strength. If I could hop on a plane and come help you clean, organize, etc, I'd do it in a minute. Would any of your friends nearer to you be willing to help? Or would that end up being more stressful for you? I know I can be picky about how things are organized in my house!

Anyway, I'll keep praying, and if there's ANYTHING I can do besides that, let me know.

Hope Jonah's had a good Monday and that his sweet toes are doing ok.

Love from TX!
Laura

Kirsten said...

Aww sweetie... those things will wait. And it won't always be like this.. I remember when Emily was little and I'd be watching TV and those commercials would come on where someone was sleeping peacefully in bed and I'd almost cry because I was so exhausted and I couldn't fathom ever being able to sleep peacefully like that again. So try not to get too overwhelmed and know that this too shall pass.
That being said, it does sound to me like you my need some help with depression, and no wonder. I know it's hard to get away from Jonah... but I honestly think it might be a huge help to you...

I wish I was there, I'd come clean your house for you!

-hugs-

E said...

You're in my thoughts.. I'm sorry about your funk. Take care of yourself!

Did I mention I love your blog? I love your blog. All those cute baby pictures don't hurt.

Mary Frances said...

Dear Patrice,

You are one of the bravest women in the world. Don't be so hard on yourself. Parenting a small child can take away all of your energy.
But add the EB and you have the work and worry doubled to say the least. I wish I could take away the blaaaaaaaaaaas and the funk that you have now.

I have been following your journey for the last few months. Jonah was listed on our neighbors Caring Bridge site under children to pray for. I for some reason clicked on Jonah and have been keeping him in my prayers ever since. I think your blog is amazing. I have learned so much.

I am a proud Jonah magnet owner.
My oldest son Peter, who is six, thought we should give up Neuroblastoma and EB for Lent.
I thought it was a great offering for such a little boy.

Take good care of yourself. Let your family and close friends nurture you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

From Fredericksburg, Virgina
Mary Frances

the Klimeks said...

Patrice~
I am a daily blog follower, but an infrequent commenter--a lurker! I was able to enjoy your birthday post with no problems--it looked like a wonderful day! So many fun activities and bright colors--and so many friends and family there to show their love and support for Jonah! I will pray for your "blah" mood to pass. Know that we all go through those times as moms, and that no one can do it all. So what if the garage is a mess and the closets are unorganized?! Just shut the doors and concentrate on the sweet little guy that loves his mom so much that he wants to be held by her more than anything else in the world! (((Hugs))) to you and your family! I hope your days look brighter as spring peeks around the corner... :-)

Abby said...

Is there any way you can put Jonah in a sling? I know people who swear by those, but I don't know if it would be a problem for his skin.
Definitely praying for your slump to end.

Cyndi said...

Patrice,
I totally know that overwhelming feeling when they want you all day everyday...and all you want is to get something done around the house. Hang in there. On another note, I've taken Zoloft and it does wonders.
I love your blog, I love reading about your sweet family.
Take Care,
Cyndi
P.S. Where did you get that shirt for Jonah that was on the bear in that photo? Very very cute! My little boy is turning 2 next month and that is perfect!

Cyndi said...

If anyone else know where Patrice got that cute shirt for Jonah that was on the teddy bear please let me know, LOL!

karie said...

I'm so sorry about your funk... My kids both were like that too and I just can't imagine the extra stress about worrying about all things EB on top of that!!! As much as I love them and treasure these moments, I know I need a good break once in a while, and there is nothing wrong with that. It actually helps me appreciate them even more. Even if you can have someone in the house to hold Jonah through a nap once in a while would help I would think. I am praying for you and I hope you will seek help if you feel it's necessary. I've done it myself...

Lisa said...

You know what? I think having your home all organized and decluttered is seriously over rated. :-) There seems to be a positive obsession now days with those things. As long as you can find the things you need and the house isn't a fire trap or a health issue, to heck with it. You are a first time Mom with a child who requires more care by far than most (which is saying something). If you can give yourself permission to take care of the big things and let the others slide, you may feel a bit less overwhelmed.
My son has some issues and is high maintenance on an emotional level. He is now 13. I had to let go or go nuts a long time ago. It was hard, but something had to give and it wasn't going to be me or the family. There will come a time (sooner than seems possible) that he won't want/or need the kind of attention he does now. The closets and basement and garage will still be there...trust me!
Hate to hear you sounding so down....your family remains in my prayers all the time. Wish I really knew you, lived close and could help.

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Courtney said...

chin up kiddo. that wanting to be held thing is a stage of all babies. maybe just be comfortable with the mess and tune it out with the tv. :)

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

I'm so, so sorry the blues are back (if they ever really left). I wish so much that I could be there just to sit with you during the long days and to hold Jonah so you could nap or sit outside in the sun. I will pray that the Lord will give you that kind of respite in whatever form it comes in. I love you! (And Jen's pictures are beautiful, by the way.)

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Cyndi, Jonah's shirt is from the etsy shop Smitten & Co., and you can order one here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/smittenandcompany . She has lots of cute designs and I order one for each of my boys for every birthday. Hope you find one you like!

Shari said...

I am praying for you Patrice. When you can please see a Dr. Meds. aren't forever. Just to get you over the hump. Take care.

Tiffany said...

Hey honey.. We are praying for you.. Hang in there.. Dont let the everyday chores wear you down, enjoy Jonah... We are thinking of you guys... and sending lots of positive thoughts your way
Tiffany

stephanie said...

I just love you, Patricia. I am so sorry you are feeling down. I will pray that you feel God right there with you today. He is really our only source of comfort isn't He? 2 Corinthians 7:6

brenda in seattle said...

I got to read your birthday post yesterday. It was fun to see. I'm glad you had a good time. Jonah is looking so cute these days.
Sorry you are still in a funk. I will continue praying for you and Jonah and Matt.

Blanca said...

Praying for you and Jonah! I love the pics. Looks like he had a wonderful time. I know its hard because I think all babies go through that, but like Mommyto3 said cleaning can wait. If I was close I wouldn't mind going over and helping you! I love cleaning/organizing don't ask me why. LOL.

Diana said...

Hey Patrice -
I was on your blog yesterday (don't remember the time - probably in the am) and had no problems at all. I was able to see all of the WONDERFUL pictures from Jonah's party. WOW!

Praying for you right now... don't worry about the blog.

Linda said...

Oh Patrice, I wish I lived around the corner and I could help you out. Please don't worry about cleaning the house. That can wait, holding your precious son is more important. Enjoy every second with Jonah and forget about everything else. So sorry you are still in a funk. This too shall pass. Still praying for you girl. You are doing an amazing job with Jonah and don't you forget it. Count your blessings, you have many!!! Love Leah's Nana

Kristen said...

I'm praying for you, it's a tough, tough thing you are going through, but God will show you something extraordinary in these low times. I'm praying for it.

Deciduous Heather said...

Patrice,
HUGS!! I know how you feel. I wish I could just "let stuff go" but it is not my nature at all. I have my moments where I feel like I going to self-combust...The only advice I can really offer is I really do think my kids pick up on my stress, when I am having those moments and it seems like it all just gets harder. This time of year is hard for me, but Spring is coming. Jonah will get easier with his feedings. The song is true "It won't be this way for long". I PROMISE, and you can hold me to that. I will be thinking about you today, and hoping that you are feeling better. (((HUGS)))

p.s. I was able to see your bday post no problem, OMG what a party! :)

Island Jack's Travel said...

Patrice, I really do understand your feelings at this moment. Even though I haven't faced the same challenge of dealing with EB, I have been a new mother with no nearby relatives to help. I often felt like you do ... overwhelmed and unmotivated and just plain exhausted. Believe it or not, this too shall pass ... just not today. Do what you can but don't feel bad if your home doesn't look like house beautiful or if you don't look ready to walk down the runway. You are doing a great job being a wonderful caring mother to Jonah and wife to Matt. Right now, those are the ONLY jobs that matter.

I had no trouble loading the birthday blog/images. I use Google Chrome as it is faster and a lot more stable than Internet Explorer. Maybe that is the difference.

Hang in there Patrice! You are awesome!!!

Love, Janet

VA mom of 4 said...

Birthday post looked great in my browser-Mozilla with Win Vista. Patrice, I am praying as I type, but mostly later... for God to send you his sufficient grace, and for you to receive it. You don't know me, I live in Lynchburg, VA, but, I follow you and I pray. I wish I lived closer I would come and help. I have to tell you this, as a widow of 8 years, who's husband died when our children were 3 and 5- I understand overwhelmed. I'm not going to offer you a bunch of unsolicited advice. Just know there is a lady out there who loves God, and is praying for you everyday.

Lindsey Sowers said...

Wow, Jenn did a great job with the pictures. She got some amazing shots of Jonah. I'm thinking some happy pills are must at this point...ain't no shame in druggin'!! Girls night next week...looking forward to it. Love!!!!

Libby said...

Definitely will be praying for you. I know feels so frustrating when all you can do is hold the baby. He will eventually grow out of it! I'll also pray that you get some needed rest and are able to talk to someone to help you feel better emotionally.

brandie said...

Thanks for sharing the link for birthday photos! Looks like quite the party, and that cake?! rock my socks off!

Praying you get to feeling better and don't let the un done chores get to you.

LeslieCA said...

Patrice - Have you tried St. Johns Wort? It is a natural mood enhancer that really helped both my hubby and I when we were in the "funk"...me after having my son (postpartum depression), him after some serious stress at work. It was actually suggested by my OB as soemthing to try prior to getting a prescription. It didn't make everything go away but seemed to keep us more calm during the stress...

John and Crystal Pinegar Family said...

I feel you! I am in funk right now too. No motivation or energy to get things done. I have massive piles of laundry, messy kitchen, messy garage, kids homework and the list goes on and on. Makeup, what is that? That is reserved for Sundays (church). I should probably go to the doctor too, I wonder if is post partum issues (my baby is a couple months younger then Jonah). Not that any of this helps you but you are not alone. I guess this mood is normal but I sure wish it would go away. I will continue to pray for you.

Deanna said...

Praying for you, Patrice! I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis. Jonah's clinginess to you right now may also be just normal separation anxiety. My twin girls are just a few weeks younger than Jonah, and we hit that stage big time recently. I know that you deal with so much EB-related stuff every day...I thought it might help to know that the clinging to mama is a "normal" thing that most little ones go through at this age! : )

Hang in there!

sandy said...

You should know you are not alone. There is so much in my house that needs to be done and it feels too over whelming to start. My kids are 6 and 3 and I am expecting a 3rd in a few weeks. I have had to remind myself a million times that I did not stop working to clean or organize my house. Soon enough the kids and their stuff will be gone. I will have more time to purge and get things picked up. I still feel discouraged and embarrassed when people come into my disastrous house, but I try to remember it probably makes them feel better. Hang in there and just know you are not alone in the chaos.

Ebeling Family said...

prayers are up....

I pray for peace to your troubled heart and mind, to see clearly the path God has marked before you, and the strength to do what your little boy needs to thrive.

Love sent your way,

Em

Heather from Ontario Canada said...

(((cyber hugs))) coming your way. I hope you can get outside and soak in some sunshine. Perhaps this will help you feel better. Is there a family member that can come and help out and give you an hour to take some "me" time? I sure pray you feel better soon.

Chris said...

Patrice,

I am sorry that you are in a funk and not motivated and that Jonah is haing difficulty resting. I am praying that you will find energy and inner peace. Please hold Jonah and find a way to enjoy that time. Everytihing else can wait. My daughter turned 20 on Friday and what I would give to have more memories of holding her. Time passes so quickly. She and I were so excited that we each won the item we bid on at the auction.

Sorry Blogger is being a pain. Try to not stress over it. This too shall pass.

Carrie said...

I hope that things get a little better. I have mentioned before, but Jonah would certainly qualify for early intervention- including feeding therapy. The feeding therapist might ( or might not) be able to help solve your bottle feeding issues. In anycase, it would be a difference in day to day activity plus help him if he had some EI services. Just a suggestion, take it or leave it. I am sure you get plenty of advice.

AngelWalker said...

Honey, please forget the chores. forget the messy house. Forget the cleaning. Take a deep breath and relax. Take care of Jonah and let everything else go. When your husband gets home at night, maybe he can take care of Jonah, while you do a FEW chores. Or maybe HE can do the chores. Or MAYBE you can hire a super cheep housekeeper to help you out.



Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow,
for babies grow up, much to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobweb-dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

KEEP the FAITH!

Krystal said...

I am certainly praying for you, Patrice. You've got a lot of things on your plate. I don't think anyone should stand in judgment of you if your closets aren't as neat as you'd like them or the basement is messy. You're taking care of your son as best you can, and that just happens to require a lot of you, time, heart, and soul!

I agree with another blog reader who said to enjoy the time with Jonah. I still love to let my nearly-5-year-old son fall asleep in my arms at night on the sofa. (Since I know he can put himself to sleep in his own bed, it's something I can enjoy guilt free.)

Jonah has special needs, and I say to do what you have to do to take care of him. I'm certainly asking God to encourage you, to give you wisdom, and to be your strength.

Hugs!