Wednesday, December 9, 2009

thank you

Every Wednesday, as Jonah allows, I like to try and write down a prayer for him in a prayer journal. Partly it helps me focus and say all the things I need/want to say to God and partly it's for him to read when he gets older. I'm not saying this to boast or anything, but I just wanted to share with you part of the prayer I prayed on November 18th (consequently the last time I was able to write one down until today... did I mention that Jonah doesn't nap?).

(Keep in mind that Jonah had g-tube surgery scheduled for the very next Wednesday.)

I'm weary, God. Weary of struggling to feed him, of fighting him every day. I just want to be able to spend happy time with him. God, if you see fit and would allow it, can you intercede for us and make this tube unnecessary? I pray that he will eat like never before, God. Please hear me. Give us this miracle.

Jonah ate 32 ounces today, gushed about three, so still got around 29 ounces. He gained 12 ounces this past week. There is no g-tube anywhere in his immediate future.

And what do I say to God now? Thank you? Man, it just sounds so cheap. How do I thank him for keeping Jonah out of surgery, a 180 turn around as far as how and how much he's eating, and for this miraculous weight gain? How do I thank him for answering each and every one of my prayers above and beyond what I could have imagined? How do I tell him how much it meant to me that I just fed him and put him to bed without him uttering so much as a whimper? He took his bottle while awake, eagerly, and fell peacefully asleep while drinking. I was able to spend "happy time" with him. I enjoyed feeding my child and he enjoyed eating.

How can I ever say thank you enough?

Isn't it wonderful that we serve a God so full of grace and mercy that we don't ever have to (and can't ever) do anything enough? What a relief that I can say thank you and that it is enough. Not because of anything in me, but because of the grace He offers and the sacrifice he made through his Son so that I never have to be enough.

I'll never be able to say thank you enough. I'll never be grateful enough. I'll never be good enough.

Enter grace.

Now I don't have to be. Shwoo. What a load off.

Thank you, God.

59 comments:

mary said...

Thank you for your testimony in sharing answers to prayer (as well as prayer requests). God DOES hear and answer our prayers, doesn't He? We serve a mighty God!!!

erin said...

isn't it so awesome how God answers prayers...Praise Jesus for jonah eating soooo well and gaining weight and not needing no stinkin' g~tube! he is so precious and i am so thankful too that he is doing so well...much love and blessings from Ga~erin
p.s..it looks like i am first!

Candice said...

Wonderful! Gave me chills. God is Great! Thank you Lord, for answering our prayers, one day at a time.

Jonah is so blessed to have a mama as wonderful as you. Truly.


And I love how you type Shwoo! :P
Makes me think of Curious George on PBS. :)

erin said...

bummer i took too long to type oh well!

Candice said...

Nothing wrong with being first and second runners up, Erin! :)

Just Add Walter said...

Happy Early Birthday Patrice!!

Amy O'Connor said...

I'm sure this post has made more than just myself smile. God is good!

Libby said...

Hooray! Thank you, indeed, Lord!

Jennifer said...

You remember that old song? Serve Him, serve Him. Serve Him in the morning, serve Him in the noontime. Serve Him, serve Him. Serve Him til the sun goes down. There's a verse (sing with me now... I hate solos) Thank Him, thank Him. Thank Him in the morning, thank Him in the noontime. (Well, I think you get it). Anyway, Thank Him with every breath and with all your actions (too high a bar, we can't do it but we can strive). God LOVES how you shared with us about answering prayer and showing you that it can turn around and miracles do happen. You have an amazing baby who will teach us all amazing things. God continue to bless you all. Jennifer in Southeast, NC

otherwise known as mom said...

There's no other word for grace, but amazing....I love the song that has that line in it. God is awesome.

Sara said...

God knows what is in your heart, He knows how grateful you are! Yay for Jonah, keep it up, baby boy!

Laura A said...

Praise God for grace! Because that's the whole thing of it - there is NOTHING we can do that even comes close to earning it. What an amazing gift!

And praise God for answered prayers - I'm SO glad Jonah's eating so well!

As always, I'm praying for you and Matt and of course sweet Jonah. Hope your Thursday is terrific - can't wait to see pics of your decorated house!

Love from TX!
Laura

Michelle said...

What an awesome post. Thank you for sharing. My preacher husband quite enjoyed your thoughts on "not enough" also:)

Janel Waters said...

What a truly inspirational post - nothing, I mean NOTHING short of a miracle!

I am so happy that you have finally had that beautiful, peaceful experience of just feeding your child - no fight, no struggle, no frustration - just Mommy and Baby happy together!

(BTW - those gushers always look like they are more than they really are - take a bottle with 1 oz in it and dump it over your counter - you'd be suprised!)

Misty said...

I was blessed this weekend at Deeper Still in OKC. Priscilla Shirer spoke on Ehpesians 3:20 (NASB) - Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

She taught this verse one step at a time: Now (at the present time) to Him (God, obviously) who is able (yes, He is able!) to do far more abundantly beyond (He goes BEYOND beyond) all that we ask or think (God can do better than ANYTHING we could ever ASK or THINK), according to the power (the Holy Spirit) that works (as opposed to not working) within us...

When we are aligned with and in God's will it frees Him up to be able to bless us even more

All this to say - isn't God awesome? Praise God for He is good!

the Spocks said...

I actually have a prayer journal that I need to use more and will admit it. The other day we where at SeaWorld. During the Shamu show they were talking about Miracles. Although, I did think of my family, The second person to come to mind was Jonah. I thought it would a miracle if he and other children could be cured. I know he can be!

Thank you for writing about Jonah!

Jessica said...

Such an amazing and gracious God we have. Every day I am amazed by His glory. I'm so happy Jonah is getting stronger each day with His help and many many prayers!

Me, the boys and a Farm... said...

HOW WONDERFUL! PRAISE GOD! Patrice, you are teaching me grace through your words...God sees his work in your family...and continues to bless you and "us" with you, your wisdom, faith and grace...Thanks...looking forward to seeing Christmas with Jonah! With love from our family to yours. Prayers to you...oh loved what someone else said about Eph 3:20 - thats awesome!

Jennifer said...

Amazing...simply amazing! Thanking God tonight too for His awesome work :)

Sewconsult said...

Beautiful prayer. One day, Jonah will know what a wonderful mom he has. But don't expect him to say thank you until in his 20's, at least!

diorella said...

yay for Baby J. Amazing.
Praise God! :)

Penny said...

He says, "Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." So... there you go. =)

Jen said...

Amen Sisah!!! Your heart says it all and that is what matters most to God!

Jessica said...

wow! I have tears in my eyes! Thank you for sharing that! It IS so amazing how directly God has answered the prayers for Jonah. :)

Wanda Wilkinson said...

Praise God...His Grace is Sufficient.

Thank you for our Wonderful Savior.

Love Wanda

Kim M said...

To God be the Glory - Great things He has done! How wonderful to see tangible things God is working for Jonah! Jonah is a miracle boy! What a wonderful Christmas season for all of you! Thank you for sharing your precious little son with us - he is very special.

Linda said...

Hi Patrice:
What a wonderful journal entry. It brought tears to my eyes, but that's pretty easy, I cry at everything.
I have pictures of Leah in my cubicle at work, and one of my co-workers one day said, how can God let babies be born that way. This is not Gods doing, and I know that he is crying right along with us when we cry. God has blessed you EB parents with these very special children. Yes, you are Blessed and God is doing everything in his power to help these children. God Is Good and listens to our prayers. Thanks Patrice and give Jonah a hug and kiss for me. Love Leah's Nana

Amanda said...

Hugs, thank you once again for sharing. Your strength helps many.

M J said...

God is so good!

Happy and tired said...

That is so sweet. Thank you for the reminders.

Stephens Family News said...

This is sooo great!! Especially the part about Jonah eating while he was AWAKE!! So happy for you!! :o)

Just Diane said...

I already knew that the Lord answers prayer because he has answered a few of my own... but your post today has helped to renew my faith. Thank you.

Cindi said...

as we say in the south, halleluyar! Thank you, Lord!

Toni :O) said...

I am such a believer in the power of prayer....Sweet Jonut is here because of that and he truly is thriving...God bless that little sweetie of yours and big hugs to you all. You are never far from my thoughts and as I tell MckMama, I feel SO blessed to be able to prayer for your sweet boy. Thank you for sharing him with me and the rest of blogger land.

Him and Her said...

tears of joy and in awe of our amazing creator while reading your post. You are boasting in God, His perfect Son, the ultimate sacrifice not in yourself. And consequently so many others are able to boast in His goodness! yay.
You are a great mother!
(oo..my word verification is "healingu"..super)

brittany mills said...

happy birthday :)

Jessi said...

I know God answers prayers *all* the time but isn't it great when we're aware enough to notice? So glad Jonah is eating well and your days are going more smooth right now. Can't wait to see pictures of him from Christmas!!

Heather said...

Awesome!

Jedonne Given said...

Thank you, Patrice, for being sensitive to God's work and reminding us of His faithfulness to all of us!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Wishing a blessed and beautiful Christmas to your wonderful family. Thank you for sharing your journey and allowing us to love and pray for Jonah and witness God's work in your lives.

Sabrina said...

Praise the Lord! I am so happy for you and baby J today! God is great!

Deborah said...

I have just come upon your blog. Im so sorry for your loss.
Your little boy is in my prayers as well!

brandie said...

How amazing! Thanks so much for sharing that with us. We serve such a wonderful God.

Journey of the George's said...

Praise God! Miracles abound! Thank you for sharing with us!

Beth said...

wow. powerful. thank you for sharing this post and for sharing jonah with all of us.

Kristen said...

Thank you for sharing this amazing, miraculous experience with us. I love the idea of a prayer journal. Our prayers for your family continue, you are such a blessing.

Heather from Ontario Canada said...

GOD IS GOOD!!

Melissa said...

why are we ever surprised at god??? but i like surprises anyway! so happy he is doing so well. rejoice in that fact...y'all are great parents to jonah. thanks for sharing him with us all! merry christmas!

mom nana nelson said...

This post of yours Patrice
is very beautiful.
Thank You ever so much for sharing these so personal, sweet, tender moments.

You & Yours Are Always In My Prayers.

Kristi said...

Wow. That brought tears to my eyes! Thanks for sharing.

the-mommy-person said...

That's fantastic! I love how God answers and prayers. I know sometimes I'm at fault of not even paying attention. I'm thankful for your journal as 'proof'. :)

Sincerely, Stephnie said...

God is good. (period)..

Sandra said...

AMEN!!

Joanie said...

Wow! God is good. :) I got chills, too. :)

Amanda Sikes said...

Beautiful Post! Crying tears of joy as I read it. Isn't God amazing! Thank you Jesus!

bluechimera said...

Thank you Lord! Please continue to do Your will in even greater things than this.

The Sierra Family said...

wow, patrice. this gave me chills. amen.

Ebeling Family said...

WOW!
It really is wonderful to know that God wants to bless us, and WILL!

Em

Matthew 5:6
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Melissa said...

How to say thank you enough? You're so right -- there is no way. But what you're doing is amazing and I know pleasing to Him. You give honor and glory to Him, and publicly. The only other way I know to thank Him for all He's done for me is to worship. And so I do, and always will.
Blessings to you!
Love,
Melissa

ElleAuvil said...

So so glad that Jonah is doing so well! And I need to thank you, too, for reminding me that my troubles are small each day compared to what sweet Jonah deals with all the time. I came home exhausted and cranky tonight, and not in the mood to look to my own personal blessings, but then I read your post and realized how petty my complaints were. Thank you Patrice, for continuing to blog- I know it is hard, but I love to read about Jonah, watch him grow and thrive, and see your faith growing. My children love Jonah too. I only let them on the computer on weekends, and the first thing my daughter asks for is the "Jonah Update"! God Bless, and thank you so much for getting my head on straight so that I can appreciate all the blessings God has given me!