Monday, October 19, 2009

you know you're a stay at home/new parent when...

You know you are a Stay-At-Home/New Parent when...

10. A trip "all the way across town" to the mall sounds as challenging as a trip across the country.

9. You hear yourself whining and saying things like, "Oh man. This is the exact same episode of Wonder Pets they showed yesterday," and "Ugh. I hate Puzzle Time."

8. You have a very strong preference between Steve and Joe from Blue's Clues.

7. Breakfast consists of a Diet DP and a Fudge Round. Lunch is some Honey BBQ Fritos and the Halloween candy your husband encouraged you to get way early (bad idea), and dinner is something somebody else better be figuring out because a certain little someone only slept twenty minutes total that day.

6. Movie watching is a lost art because sleep is just more important. Although Netflix only costs $9.60 a month, you've had the same movie for four months. The cost of that one movie alone is almost $40 and counting.

5. You are so used to having to pee with the door open, you have to be really careful when company comes over that you don't share a little too much.

4. Eco-Rangers, Moose and Zee, from Noggin are the ones who've convicted you to be more energy efficient.

3. Your friend says, "Have you heard that new song, __________?" and you think to yourself that unless it's sung by The Backyardigans, you most certainly have not heard it.

2. You have regular conversations with your dog, and of the two of you, he is definitely the more interesting one.

1. You get to hang out with this guy all day...
... so it's ALL GOOD.

71 comments:

Katie said...

11. You actually spend time wondering why they changed the name of the network from Noggin to Nick Jr.

12. Despite the fact that the movie never gets watched, you are too tired or otherwise distracted to actually cancel the moneypit that is Netflix.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel! I wonder these things all the time. Glad to see that you guys are doing well. Hope you have a good week.

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Amen! Even though I'm a working mom, I totally get it. And I love you for it! Also, you are the reason Netflix makes any money.

Jennifer W. said...

Ahahaha. I DO have a preference between Steve and Joe!
Jen

Darcy said...

Hahaha, SOOO true!!! I am a SAHM to three wonderful little kids so I totally understand how you feel!

Sara said...

I hear ya on #5!!

The Alger Family said...

I prefer Steve. Always have :) I even cried at his last show (not knowing they'd bring back reruns!) Pathetic, I know!

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

#5 I can totally identify with.

We don't have a TV though, so i have no concept of what kids shows are even on.

As long as you keep your sense of humor things will be great!

jess said...

11. The dentist apoligizes for it taking so long to get to you and you almost burst into tears telling him is was way 'more than okay'. Those 15 mins along in the examining room were pure HEAVEN!
12. Your little ones are old enough to walk out of the room, but you continue to fold clothes actually watching those previously mentioned shows on noggin...ahem nick jr.

The first year is the hardest/most isolating...we swear, it get easier, not by much, but seriously every little bit counts!! :)

Mindy said...

I have been staying at home for almost 5 years, I have almost 5 year triplets and a 22 month old. Those things are all too true! We spent more than $40 on one netflix movie and then never watched it and finally returned it. I live your life and you live mine!

Lyndsay said...

Wow...we are in the same club...except all the shows and songs I know are from Playhouse Disney. I totally have to tell myself (not out loud...that would be weird) to shut the door to the bathroom when company is over. Normally I'm sitting there holding my 2 year old while the 1 year old is playing the little kid potty. Good times! :)

Mimmy said...

This post is super!!! You are so creative!!! Have a wonderful evening and hopefully Jonah had much longer naps today and will sleep well tonight.

God bless and love you to Heaven and back,
Mimmy

Amy said...

Steve is so much better than Joe to me.

Amanda said...

11. You actually find yourself enjoying the "new" episodes of the shows that come out--even to the point of DVR-ing it, and plan your day around the new Max and Ruby that will be on that week.

Motherhood is sad sometimes, isn't it? LOL And for Blue's Clues--Steve is WAAAAAAAY better. I miss him :(

Kara said...

Couldn't have said it better myself...except we don't have cable, so most of my TV comments consist of Sesame Street, Barney, and Clifford. Welcome to Club Mommy!!!!

Andi said...

I have never commented, but I have read your blog for awhile, and just wanted to leave some love. You and Matt and Baby Jonut are in my prayers. I also recently became a stay at home mom, we took in four foster kids, all 4 and under, so I was cracking up reading about Joe and Steve from Blues Clues. Last night the episdoe where Joe comes and Steve is leaving is on, and I swear I didn't realize there was a difference. Anyway, hope all is well and you rock for handling everything as well as you seem to be. I love your blog, Patrice, you are freaking hilaroius!!!

The Q family said...

I am rolling from laughing so hard...mostly because it is all so try and so very very sad! I'm glad to know that we are all riding in the same boat, even if in different oceans!

Tara said...

Wait.. are you talking about me?? Cause it sure sounds like it, right down to the 40.00 netflix movie! I am so glad I am not the only one out there like that...

The only difference is that the song would be something from the Fresh Beat Band (Kennedi goes crazy when they come on).

KAL071203 said...

11. you find your self pondering if you had to choose which wiggle you would marry (anthony the blue wiggle of course). after your one millionth viewing hour.

12. being subjected to watch a wiggle video at bedtime with a sick kid, you then have a dream about the wiggles...oddly, it's yellow (former) wiggle Greg that proposes....

not that this would be my life lol

Sabrina said...

I am right there with you!

http://www.got5pockets.blogspot.com/ said...

OMG it's scary how much I can relate to this list! And isn't it "Moose A. Moose?"

Although, please share your secret as to how you can drink DP and have a Fudge Round for breakfast and keep your figure the way you do!!!! Kisses to Jonut :)

Anonymous said...

OMG it's scary how much I can relate to this list! And isn't it "Moose A. Moose?"

Although, please share your secret as to how you can drink DP and have a Fudge Round for breakfast and keep your figure the way you do!!!! Kisses to Jonut :)

Anonymous said...

Patrice,Matt,and Jonah:
Hello, love your top tens,to funny but the best is hanging out with sweet adorable baby Jonah. I was reading the ingreds to your NC chicken stew and it almost sounds similar to our cream chicken here,we use bread to dunk up the creamy yellowish juice. Its rich but so ever yummy! I plan to visit my nephew in NC,next spring really excited to go. Take care and lots of love,prays,and hugs to Jonah.~ Darlene

Debbie,mother of two said...

What fun!! of course the last one. I don't always get though a movie either. I sit down and I fall asleep.Still keeping you in my prayers. Love the pics you have been putting on your blog. Praying that the eating part gets better soon.

Terah722 said...

Man, you crack me up. Exactly my life! I constantly find myself (on the rare occasions that I get out by myself) listening to the Playhouse Disney CD over and over and over again. Then when I'm singing, "Everybody shout, What's the big idea?" from the Imagination Movers, I realize what I'm doing and quickly change over to a country station. :) Enjoy your fudge round tomorrow morning!

Jessica said...

I have just recently started to follow your blog and have added Jonah (and you!)to my prayers! I can totally relate to your "WonderPets" comment! My little girl used to only watch that show...I could repeat each episode by heart! She has now "branched out" and watches The Backyardigans and Jack's Big Music Show :). I also had to request a radio at work so that I don't have the songs from those shows repeating in my head all day long! :) Your comment about EcoRangers Moose and Zee had my laughing out loud! Thanks for sharing your "insights!" :)

Janel Waters said...

11. If you have to see the Wonder Pets save that supid cow one more time you might really lose it!

12. You lie to your child and tell her that Sponge Bob is sleeping right now so that you don't have to endure one more episode today.

13. You actually drop an F-bomb on the poor guy at comcast because your cable/internet/AND phone have been out for over 24 hours and you really can't play even one more game of hide and go seek.

BTW - we quit watching Blue when Joe took over - Steve rocks - Joe is lame!

Heather said...

Yes, I completely agree! AND for #8, we strongly prefer Steve, but the kids strongly prefer Joe : )

Anonymous said...

11. You actually pauses, then rewinds the opening song for The Wonder Pets because he likes how the little duck says "this is serious", then try to see if you can sound just like that.

Love it!!
Kara

Ps- I hate puzzle time too!!!

Mindy said...

Amen Sister on all, but especially 10, 6, 5, 3 and DEFINITELY #1!!!!

Laura A said...

11. You have developed an affinity for vegetables - not on your plate, but on TV.

12. When you lose something, you instantly break into "Oh WHERE, is my {{insert lost object}}..."

...as you can see, we watch a LOT of Veggies around here! Thankfully, they do have parts that are funny for the grown-ups.

This was great, Patrice! Thanks for making our day again!

Love from TX!
Laura

PS - Steve. Definitely Steve.

Amber said...

11. Actually had a crush on Steve in my younger days. I thought he would make an awesome father, right?!? We watched the 'college' episode last night an I teared up again.

12. Am actually embarrassed to admit the amount of discussion time our family has devoted to why they changed from Noggin to NickJr.

13. Have every episode of Olivia recorded and actually look forward to watching it. I love that little pig!

14. Actually prefer Lauri's "F-A-M-I-L-Y" and Roots, "Lovely, Love my Family" songs to much of what's on the radio.

15. Am eternally grateful for round the clock preschool programming which has been such a comfort to my 3 yr old through cancer treatment, surgeries, and hospital stays!!!! It's better than any drug to her :)

Nicole Friend said...

This is so very true!

The Anderson Zoo said...

I have loved reading your blog about your sweet boy. Everytime I see his picture I smile. He is beautiful and such a geat picture of God's faithfulness.

Valerie said...

cute post! love & totally relate to many, but especially #5!!

Jennifer said...

you jumped for Joy when you heard The Movers were coming to Jazz Fest! Sad I know....but these 4 guys rock my world all day everyday.

Jennifer said...

and you think it is funny that your ring tone is "the phone. The phone is ringing..." Yes I did that.

Beth said...

I don't know which was funnier--your post or all the reader comments! So funny.

So let's see: Steve is so much better! Can't stand Wonder Pets (how are we supposed to teach our kids to talk right if their "hereos" don't?)

My #11 would be the time I went to my annual pap (w/o the kids) and fell asleep waiting for the dr. Most relaxing time I'd had in a long while.

Misty Rice said...

I live 1.2 miles down the road from my BFF and we both have little ones we are home with, with others in school. I finally went over to her house tonight for a visit because it was 'hair cutting' party day. Thats when our favorite hair stylist makes a home call and we bring all the girls we can to him at one persons house for the afternoon. While drinking coffee, comparing hair cuts, letting the kids run wild.

It occurred to us that we never spend any time together, and yet we are both home every day by ourselves with the babies.

I said to her (and she agreed)... for me to come to her house and hang out, ITS WORK. It literally takes so long to get myself ready, even if I stay in sweats or pj's. To get the baby fed, ready, bag of snacks, sippy cup etc and out the door. All to get over there, not be able to fully have an in depth conversation with my friend because I am chasing my little one all over the place, as hers is still not as mobile yet, he is younger that mine.

For her to come to my home, same thing....

By the time we get to each others home 1.2 miles down the road, its one of the babies nap time, and nap times are sacred as we moms know, that is OUR time to get a shower maybe, clean up and do laundry or possibly get in a nap ourselves from all the interrupted sleep the night before. So we want to be home.

Then as soon as nap is over, its lunch time, diaper change and off to the school to sit in carline to pick up the older kids.

Get them home, homework done, sports practices in and dinner with husband, baths and bed.....

The day is GONE!!!

So yes, you know you are a stay at home mom when you moan and groan to go anywhere for a period of the day, unless you REALLY have to or REALLY want to.

I may have to post a little post about this on my blog too....

hgodwin said...

HAHA I got a good smile out of this. Although I am NOT a full time stay at home mom(I got to school too) I know the feeling on some of these! Especially the NOGGIN stuff. I swear I know every episode of Wonder Pets and ya know I think they are playing too many reruns lately! :-)

Anonymous said...

You continue to amaze me Patrice! So funny and creative. I must say it is very comforting to know how many stay at home mommys are followers and all seem to have the same issues. I often feel so "alone" and as if the world around me no longer understands or cares to relate...to a somewhat "yesteryear" approach to raising your kids/family, and choosing to stay home.

I often have a little debbie fudge round and DP for breakfast as well...the chocolate satisfies the stress and hunger and the DP satisfies the caffine addiction. I often joke with people that it feels like a spa day to me if I get to take a shower without and audience and shave my legs...same thing with going to the bathroom...can't really say the last time the door was closed...
We pray for your family all the time. You help me get through so many days...you would be suprised!
Thanks...
Wendee in Lewisville

Staci said...

11. During your RARE child free moments together, you and/or your husband tell each other that you have to go to the "potty".

12. You start thinking of cute names from kid's shows that you could use for your next baby...we already have a Max and will be adding our "Ruby" in December.

13. Forget traditional lullabies..."Toot Toot Chugga Chugga Big Red Car" becomes the bedtime song of choice.

14. Your husband doesn't like to see milk go to waste so he takes your child's unfinished milk (cow's...not breast) IN THE SIPPY CUP to work with him and finishes it in the car :)

15. Even though it would save a lot of money...you don't want to cancel cable...NOT because your husband would lose ESPN...because you wouldn't have Play House Disney and Nickelodeon anymore!

the-mommy-person said...

Love it! Love Jonut! Prayers always! Oh, and PBS is way worse with their reruns. You'd think there were only 2 episodes of Sesame street and I HATE Sid the Science Kid! :)

Anonymous said...

I don't even know the names of any one you mentioned...BUT HANGING OUT WITH THAT CUTE KID....PRICELESS.
prayers always,
2shoes

lifelaughsandlove said...

One I would add:

You strap both kids into their carseats so you can drive across town (passing a Starbucks on the way) to get to the Starbucks with the drive-thru. You then take the extra long route home so you can sip your Starbucks in peace while both kids are strapped down and can't climb all over you and interrupt your special little Starbucks Moment.

This has seriously saved my sanity. The kids go in their PJ's, I wear my slippers in the car, crank up some good music, and enjoy my Starbucks while they are forced to sit in one place for a short time while I gather my sanity :)

~Amy

Amanda said...

Even 20 year old college students have a preference of Steve vs. Joe. I've always been a Joe fan myself. I love reading your blog Patrice! You're so genuine and not afraid to hold back. You're always in my prayers. You guys rock! :)

chinamoon1420 said...

Movies? What are those? Don't forget that oh so important one...when little one is asleep do I A) sleep too B) eat or C) take a shower? I always pick A!!!! Not ashamed to say it either! My husband has probably forgotten what I look like in real clothes! Lounge pants and t-shirts for this girl!

Sara said...

We have the Blockbuster Online thing, and have had the same 3 movies out for almost 5 months now. At $20+ a month....yeah, just not worth it. I keep telling my husband to cancel the Blockbuster, I don't even remember the last time we watched a movie! And our little one is 2!
As far as the Steve/Joe thing goes, Steve was my favorite, but Joe is growing on me.

And I totally agree with Amy from lifelaughsandlove - gotta love those few moments in the car when the kids are strapped down!! And Starbucks is a bonus!

Jackie said...

You are such a talented writer! I loved reading your blog!

Mel said...

Patrice, I have read your blog since the day Jonah was born and I have to say as much as I have cried with you, prayed with you and fell inlove with your sweet boy with you, I will always thank you for sharing your amazing sense of humor as well. You make me laugh out loud and make me proud to be a mom all over again, every day. Thank you for everything you share. The ups and the downs...the highs and the lows... I am grateful you allow us to come along for the ride.

Much love
Mel

Williams' Family said...

Oh how this list rings true in my life!!! Our last 2, of 4, are just 18 months apart. My husband teases me that walking to the mailbox to get the mail is the highlight of my day!

Alisha said...

Perfect list!

Anonymous said...

you took the words right out of my mouth

so good to see you guys saturday night!

love to you all!

Erica

Mama10EE said...

Too funny! I love your list and can relate to a few of those (especially the Netflix one!) :)

libby @ ninesandquines said...

#1 has got to be the BEST!!!! and would LOVE to hear about your conversations with the dog :-)

Stephens Family News said...

Totally laughed out loud at this post! We are quite well acquainted with Noggin/Nick Jr. at this house!! :o)

Liz said...

As a working mom I totally get the Noggin oh wait no Nick Jr ones :) I find myself singing the Backyardigans all day long. I totally love Joe more than Steve and what's worse I can tell if they are the newer Steve's vs older Steve's and newer Joe's vs older Joe's. And boy do I HATE puzzle time. In that short 5 minutes the kiddo's lose interest and are starting to run amuck!

Becca Wall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Becca Wall said...

Girl, I record Blue's Clues for my little girl Evie (11 months) and I delete all of the ones that have Joe in them. I know she probably doesn't care, but i do. What can I saw...I love me some Steve.

Also, after we put my daughter to bed one night, my husband promptly went back into the living room and finished the episode of Wonder Pets they were watching...haha!

Toni :O) said...

I LOL about Netflix cause we have Blockbuster and run into the SAME issues as you have! You crack me up and I love reading what you post...just makes me smile! Hug that sweet boy of yours for me!

Jacquie said...

Do you ever have the songs wake you up? I'll wake in the middle of the night annoyed because wonder pets is spooling over and over and over......

Amy T said...

I was looking at Shaina's Dixie Fair pictures last night. She's becoming quite the photographer! Love the Jonut pics! Give him kisses for me! MISS YOU!

<3 amy <3

Anonymous said...

Can't stand puzzle time!!!!!!!!!! ugh!!

Sandy said...

A very cool "you know" . . . #1 reason is my favorite!

DonnainNC said...

I would have to say about 90% of those things apply to me. But, it's good, I love my life:)

kim_brough said...

So I have to know if you prefer Steve or Joe on Blues Clues! Go Steve!

I can't believe that so many people commented about Blues Clues!!

Rachel said...

When I first saw pictures of your little man, I thought he looked like my youngest, a really severe case of excema. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me to be thankful for my little, rash-covered, but otherwise healthy, girl

Anonymous said...

....the phone starts to ring and you sing..."the phone, the phone is ringing, the phone, we'll be right there!"
Michelle

lipeco3178 said...

STEVE all the way. BOOO JOE!

Amanda said...

or...you get a dumb song from the Backyardigans stuck in your head and you sing it for a whole week straight! Craziness! You may even know the song I'm speaking of, "A message, a message, a very important message...' That's it. I don't know the rest of the song. That one phrase repeats over and over in my head. I'm going to have to be committed! :)

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