Friday, June 12, 2009

confessions of a Targetholic

My name is Patrice, and I AM a Targetholic.

Yesterday I went to Target with the following things on my list:
- baby wipes
- Gerber Apple Prune juice
- sugar
- Diet Dr. Pepper
- Simple Green (it was in the automotive section)
- travel size hand sanitizer
- shampoo and conditioner
- baby Tylenol
- wall clock
- quart size storage bags
- cat litter
- graduation card for cousin Jake

And I did really well. I got all of the above things, springing for the Target brand (now the Up brand) whenever possible.

In addition to the list, I also bought:
- Two more pairs of mittens for Jonah (not so much for his hands, but for his wee-wee. I've discovered mittens are the perfect wee-wee cover - he can't wiggle it off - when I'm having to change his diaper, lance leg blisters, or redress his legs)
- Hershey's kisses (Granny made me do it)
- Fudge Rounds (a breakfast or late night necessity)
- Splenda (my sweet tea will never be the same)
- a pack of ten brushed silver knobs for the cabinet below the counter downstairs
- deodorant (Let's face it. You can never have too much.)
- sanitizing wipes (so I can stop pouring hand sanitizer all over the cart everywhere I go)
So far, so good...

But then you hit the dollar section, and it's all over.

I got these two really cute tote bags for a dollar each. I thought they would be perfect for carrying stuff down to the beach. It looks like you can just rinse them out and reuse. And the smaller one would be a perfect lunch bag. You know, if I was still working and had even a remote need to carry my lunch in a bag somewhere. Whatever. They were cute and cheap. I was sold.

And finally, my guilty pleasure purchase. This pretty, over-the-shoulder bag for $10.

Let me just say that I am NOT an accessories girl. I typically don't wear jewelry now that I have Jonah for fear of fricting him, but besides my rings and my Gabe necklace, I never really wore it a whole lot before. I like accessories, but I can barely get organized enough to even put on a matching outfit. (When I hadn't found Kelly's blog yet, and only read Angie's, she referred us to Kelly for a scarf tying video demo. WHAT? People wear scarves just for decoration? I'm so behind...) Most of the times I'm in jeans or a knit skirt and a t-shirt. I don't buy shoes, because I'd just rather wear flip flops. And if I've got a black pair and a brown pair, I'm set for the summer. And I don't typically wear bracelets because a) I never dress up fancy enough that I need one and b) I think I have an abnormally small wrist. Bracelets that aren't adjustable always go up to my elbows. And I don't wear necklaces because Jonah will hurt his face if he rubs against them.

But I love me a cute bag. Not a purse, but a bag. I still don't typically buy them, but this one was so cute... I couldn't resist. And I have this irrational need to justify my purchases by making a "want" into a "need." So here goes.

"Patrice, you really need this bag. It's really hard to have a purse you have to carry in your hand or one that's always falling off your shoulder or arm. But look at this bag. This bag is an across your body shoulder bag. You won't have to hold it, and it won't slip off your shoulder. And really, you don't need one more thing to have to carry or keep up with. It's hard enough with a huge diaper bag (the one thing I HATE about cloth diapers. They really fill up your diaper bag). Plus, it's only $10. That's cheaper than you and Matt eating at Chick-fil-A. And it's blue, green, and yellow - your favorite colors. Plus, you really need to stop coveting Kathryn's bag, Sarah's bag, Laura's bag (... and so on and so forth). AND, you haven't bought a new bag in probably three years. It's time."

So there you have it, friends. My justification. It's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

My name is Patrice, and I AM a Targetholic.
In other news, Jonah had a blow out poop out his diaper yesterday (just as Matt was on the brink of laying him down to change a wet one) that went all over the floor, but more importantly, all over Matt's shoes and shorts. I missed it (I was in our room pumping), but when I saw the look on his face and heard what happened, I laughed so hard I nearly cried. HILARIOUS. Welcome to my world, honey. Glad you've been inducted.


Mel said...

That is sooo funny! Nothing like a daddy and good poop blow out. Glad you got your new bag and your target "fix".


Melissa said...

I've never posted but read your blog regularly. I love your Targetholic posts. I, myself, am also a Targetholic. I can never just buy what is on my list.

C. said...

Ok - being the mother of two boys myself, I have to say that the mitten thing is BRILLIANT! Although, I'm pretty sure Jonah's not going to find the humor when his future girlfriends find out. Me, however, hehehe :)
Also - my hubby and I are going out for a meal tonight, but your purchases have pursuaded me to make him stop at Target - they better have those bags here!

melanie said...

Glad you figured the whole mitten over the "wee-wee" thing. Now I won't ACCIDENTALLY let Jonah pee all over his leg dressings while holding them up so you can change him. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness I was in Target today, and not the 7 minutes from home one, the 15 minutes away one because it seems "better" if that's possible in Target land! Anyway, they did have adorable bags and other accessories and yay for purchasing them! Everyone needs a little fun Target item every now and then! For me, I ended up with 2 $7 shirts. Enjoy the bags! And of course that absolutely adorable son of yours!


Anonymous said...

LOVE THE BAG! It was a need! Sometimes the need is to splurge just a little! Know that one. I mentioned to my husband that I would like a new pocketbook. He decided that I "needed" a Vera Bradley. So, that was FUNNY. Him picking one out... Coming home to tell me to go get one! AND Matt getting the induction--he needed one! We all have to join that club. The mitten thing is a great idea. I will tell expectant friends this one! It is so hot here that I decided to stick to my list which meant I did not go near Target today (it's over 35 mins. away!). SIGH! I did see the bags though last time. Jennifer in Southeast, NC

Lucy and Ethel said...

Yep, a blowout + a daddy, together and alone = cheap entertainment... for everyone else :)


Wanda Wilkinson said...

Hey Patrice, I think you did awesome at Target (my dgt &I are going tonight). The small bag you can use to pack & lunch & you & Jonah (and Matt if he wants to join) go out & have a pinic. Also, the over the shoulder bag you could use as a diaper bag in a pinch.

I am not so sure I have told you lately how adorable Jonah is..he is growing so fast. Getting more adorable everyday.

The mitten idea is AWESOME!!!

I bet Matt wasn't laughing last night when he got inducted into the "poop" explosion. Good thing you weren't not in the room, like Jonah said you might have laughed so hard you peed in your pants.
I hope you & your family have a great weekend.

Lots of hugs, kisses & prayers are being sent your way.

Janel Waters said...

Hi, My name is Janel and I am a Targetaholic - here are my stories...

I live in Florida and just recently it rained for 7 straight days (and I'm not talking the kind of on and off rain where you can still get stuff done - I am talking about pulling out of a draught, over flowing the pool and flooding the streets, constant rain.) so on day 6 when I just could stand being in my house with a VERY active 2 1/2 year old anymore my husband and I took her to Target. We really didn't *need* anything, but rest assured we found $300 worth of things that suddenly became a need! And with the exception of the $80 in new home phones, I don't think I can tell you what we bought! (That is so sad now that I have typed it out!)

Being that I am an adult, birthdays just don't hold the same pleasure as they used to - unless of course you get a $50 gift card from your in-laws followed up by a $30 gift card from your brother and sister-in-law!

And my final Target confession - I get my prescriptions filled a the Target pharmacy just so I have a better excuse to go there - AND if you drop off a prescription to be filled you are almost guaranteed 20 blissful minutes of wandering the Target aisles!

WOW! I feel so much better now that I have confessed my Target secrets!!

(did I mention that Chic-fil-A is right next to Target - I live in paradise!)

My name is Janel and I am a Targetaholic!

Precious 3 said...

Whoa! Tell Matt he's lucky he didn't have the diaper open yet!

I may have to run by Target's dollar section. We head to the beach 3 times a week, and I'd love to stop using my toddler's diaper bag as the beach bag. Just an excuse to go to Target!

Oh and the mitten idea had me laughing so hard! Good thinking!

Laura A said...

LOVE those totes! Sounds like I need a trip to Target (as if I wouldn't have found a reason anyway!) The bag is really cute, too - and at $10, what a steal!

Ingenious idea on the mitten, too - my boys were never that bad about that for some reason, but it would have been helpful for those times when "old faithful" would let loose!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!


PS - tell Matt he's now a member of the Mustard Club. hee hee

Ryley said...

Mittens for a wee-wee cover?!?! GENIOUS!!!! Wow.. you are so smart. Makes perfect sense.

I have a story kinda like the poop.. (well not really, but humor me.) We were putting Miles in the bath last night and my husband always stands him up on the edge of the tub so I can take his diaper off. He was just standing there for a minute (with my husbands support of course) and he started peeing, arching into the big tub (but thankfully missing his little tub) My husband thought it was SOO funny. He was twisting him all around making him spray all over! I guess him peeing is only funny when it's not all over us! :)

Rebecca said...

I'm going to call you next time I need talked into a new bag :)!!!

My Dad would tell Matt "be glad your kiddo wasn't sitting on your shoulders when he had the diaper poop blow out."

Anonymous said...

That is so funny. Now he gets to see what it's like. I like your new bag you got it's awesome. I also love your targetholic posts. Glad to see you all had a good time at the B-Day party. I hate to hear Jonah was sleeping through it all. Hop you guys have a great weekend.

Did you hear about the April Rose story. Very saddend about that lady. That was so wrong what she did.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Patrice - I just love reading your posts. You are a funny girl!

I love hearing all about Jonah. He is just adorable and I just pray that the Lord will help his little blisters to heal and not cause him any pain.


Anonymous said...

you have the best sense of humr! Love it!

Becca B. said...

I totally feel the need to justify purchases for myself as well, and I think you deffinaltly "needed" that bag. I would pay to have seen Matt's face, men have no idea what we go through.

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I have abnormally small wrists too! I don't think that I have ever found a bracelet in a store that actually fit me.

L2L said...

I use to be a Wal-mart Junkie till we moved to Japan, talk about a quick rehab, he-he.

I have a prayer request would you pray for it?

Rachel said...

I am ashamed to admit I haven't been to Target in a good year or so, if you can believe it! However, after reading about all of your cool finds I may need to visit my local Target ASAP...

I'm super pumped to go check it out, but I am pretty sure my husband won't be to thrilled about me re-discovering a place to spend $$! ;)

Have a wonderful day :)

Channe said...

Congrats on the bag! I can't ever seem to find those across the body ones. Good find!!

purejoy said...

hi-lari-ous!! so funny yet i'm sure for matt it was oh-so-not-funny. but i'm glad you can laugh about stuff like that. ahhhhh normalcy. embrace it, sister!! and if i had to have true confessions about target, i'm afraid i would use up all my blog space!

Neighbor Wars said...

I literally laughed out loud over the poop story!!

Anonymous said...

--love the targetholic hilarious!

--i totally know what you mean about the justification..i do that exact same thing..i think most women do lol

--love the birthday party pix from the last post too!

:) xoxo megan fromw wi

Becky said...

Over the shoulder bags are a huge NEED! lol I will give you another excuse to add to your list. After I had my twins I got a backpack because more than once when I bent down to pick up their car seats with them in it of course my bag slipped off my arm onto them! Jonah does definately not need that! You were only thinking of him with your purchase right! :)

Kirsten said...

HAHAHa poor Matt!!

Mimmy said...

Patrice - keep posting. One of these days I predict you will have one of the best read blogs on the internet.

Love you to Heaven and back,

Jenny (in K'ville!) said...

I went to the Kernersville Target yesterday, too! I got to spend school money, so it was fun picking out things to buy because I didn't have to worry about paying for it. Target is so amazing. :)

Anonymous said...

I love target!! those bags are super cute, all 3 of them!! your justification sounds like mine when I want/need a new purse. I wish they made an over the shoulder bag that had sections inside to keep my stuff separated. I hate having to dig through the bag to find the one little thing way at the bottom.
And, I have a box of fudge rounds in the fridge!! If you don't keep them in there, you should ;)

Lesli said...

I love that over the shoulder bag!

Our first dd did not latch until she was 10 weeks, so I had to pump for her. When DH was here, he had full duty to change and feed her so I could take care of the moo position. At least every other day, I would here him changing her over the monitor, then suddenly hear, "Awe man, not again!!" and he would be running for a new shirt! Soo funny!

Sara said...

WOW! I need to start shopping at Target! Those are some seriously CUTE bags! I had no idea they had a dollar bin...I'm missing out!

Love your blog - I must admit, I have to check on your little hunk before bed each night. I really enjoy reading, you have such a way with words, girl :)

Continued prayers for you and your sweet family!

Stephanie Jean-Louis said...

Your son is adorable! What a trooper. You are an awesome mom.

Rachelle said...

Patrice, you are too funny! I'm gonna try the mittens for Eli. Have to tell you, someone at my shower gave me terry cloth "pee-pee tee-pees" lol, but they fall off. Congratulate Matt on the blow-out. He's been officially initiated!

Teri said...

The fact that you use mittens to cover his wee wee makes me laugh!

And, why do us moms love it when daddies get pooped on? It is one of the best laughs ever!

Grape News said...

I have a few things to say: #1 I have a hard time spelling "hilarious" but that poop story was funny. #2 Did you know girls can spray better than boys? :) And yes there is a story behind that (too long for here). #3 I love Targe's dollar bins! I always find something there (as hubby rolls his eyes)

Tricia said...

Check out my "Confessions" over on my blog.

Anonymous said...

You actually needed that bag. It is soft and you never know if your purse could accidentally bump Jonah. I always still by soft purses just in case. But like you, I hardly EVER get a new one. Congratulations on the new bag :)

dana z.

Katie said...

One thing I always do at target, walk out with more thn what was on my list. Also......I always hit up the dollar bins first.

Nina's Mama said...

I LOVE Target too! I go at least once a week but I would go much more if I wasn't so tired after work.

Poor Matt!! That's hysterical.

Cristin said...

We have one thing very much in common-TARGET! My boyfriend hates the word "target" because he says that place just sucks me in and I never leave there with "just my list" and I always spend WAY TOO MUCH!

I love your bag! I am totally feeling you with the over the shoulder thing. My diaper bag has turned into a book bag because I got tired of lugging it on my shoulder while trying to carry works out well!

Our family page said...

I haven't left a comment in awhile, my bottom is still big, and I still try to pray it off for you and Jonah and Matt. I must say that since I am still living in Mexico for 2 more weeks and I haven't gotten to shop at Target for 4 years now, I am REALLY coveting your Target visits! Now I am coveting YOUR bag! So, there is another reason YOU NEEDED the bag was so that YOU could be the one that had the bag that was coveted! Congrats! I love it! And, yes I will be looking for one when I return to the states! Love you and your sweet family! Missy

Anonymous said...

I read your blog everyday...until about a week ago...the laptop is off to the I have to use our dinosaur in our freezing den. I am only managing to get on the computer once a week now. Can't wait to get the laptop back! Bur rest assured...I am thinking of you, daddy and Jonah everyday and praying. I hope things are getting a little better with his hands. I can imagine how it must hurt you to see him hurting...on the plus side of things, glad he is off the ativan and morphine.

Looking at your pictures, I think it is time for me to make a trip to Target!

Until next time, I will be dreaming and praying for Jonah.

much love and prayers

Anonymous said... the it that Dad got the blowout poop! My hubby never got to experience that unfortunately! Every now and then I will still spot a small spot on the wall! (20 months later!)

Just'N Angel said...

You make me laugh! Great post. You certainly MUST have a bag, but the that's important!

Cristin said...

I forgot to ask you...Have you read the book "Confessions of a Shopholic"? Your confessions of a Targetholic remind me of this should consider writing a book yourself, this is pretty funny stuff!!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Patrice- noticed your wrote about small wrists and a friend of my friend is a stay at home. She has started a business called Mainly for like heirlooms- you can get your kids birthstones, or yours etc. into bracelets and they are very pretty. Anyway, I bet if you sent her your wrist measurement she could make one that actually fit you! Just a thought- as always praying for all of you!
Janine in WV :o)

Queen Mumma said...

I love your Target posts! I can live vicariously through you! ;)

~*~ Allison ~*~ said...

I think we all need to get together & go to Target!! I LOVE Target (hubby doesn't let me go as often because I usually buy out the $1 section).

HOLLA to my Targetholic peeps!!

Many blessings,

drahdrah said...

God, how I can relate to the blow out poop incident... it happened yesterday while I was in the shower, and for a change I WAS NOT the one having to deal with the clean up... how sweet it was !
Your bag was a great purchase, and yes, you definitely NEED it !

Michelle said...

LOVE the dollar section at Target!! I recently got those bags but the plain ones and decorated them up for my kids for our recent road trip.

Anonymous said...

Have you checked out the website or You will probably be able to find some help there regarding the build up in the diapers.

Melissa said...

Patrice, I saw something today I just had to share with you.

A friend of mine is on vacation in San Diego and posted pics on Facebook of the Target there. A two-story Target, complete with escalator for the shopping carts to ride on. You've got to be kidding! Anyway, you might have the same thing there in SC, but in NM, we have no such amazing shopping bliss. Just something to dream about ...

amanda said...

Your little boy is so precious and beautiful! I think I've told you that before, but I have to tell you again!

There is "something about him" and I think some of his "something" comes from his mom:)"the targetholic."

Think of you all often...