Saturday, March 13, 2010

jonah's first wake game - sorry, no pictures

Last Sunday we decided we would take Jonah to the last regular season Wake basketball game. Game time was 6:00, and we knew we would be able to make it back close to his normal bedtime. Most of the games this year started at 7:00 pm, so it was just too late to take him. I was very excited to see how he would react. I thought he would like all the action, noise, and people.

(Why is she talking in the conditional? That can't be good.)

Matt and I were both anxious as it would be the first time we were headed to a place from which we couldn't easily and quickly escape. I was anxious about the stares, being in such close quarters with so many people, and the long amount of time we were asking Jonah to be content. For a non-mobile baby, he sure wants to be mobile, and that brings with it lots of moving, squirming, whining, and general discontent with being in one place for a long time. I figured we'd have to leave early.

(Is that foreshadowing? What happened? The anticipation is killing me.)

Still, it was worth it to us for him to have the experience, and we were excited (though apprehensive) to make the attempt.

(That parenthetical reference and the word "attempt" make ME feel apprehensive about how this story is going to end.)

Matt and I had discussed it several times during the week, giving ourselves pep talks that it would be okay and we could always leave early if we had to. We may or may not have had a little conversation that went something like this:

Me: "I'm nervous about taking Jonah to the game. I'm afraid he's going to be fussy and hard to manage. Maybe we could move up a few rows higher where there aren't as many people."

Matt: "Yeah, we could do that. I'm afraid he's going to puke everywhere."

Me: "PUKE? He never pukes these days outside of a feeding time."

(IDIOT, Patrice. Don't you know better than to say things like that by now? Won't you ever learn???)

Me: "That's the LEAST of my concerns."

(Oh no. That is DEFINITELY foreshadowing. Why oh WHY did she not knock on wood?)

So Sunday night arrived and we headed out for the Wake game. We were well stocked on burp cloths (we had two), wet wipes (we had six), and ponchos (not exactly). We got to the game with only fifteen minutes to spare and wouldn't you know, we had to park about a half a mile away at the football stadium. (That may be a slight exaggeration, but what's a good story without a little hyperbole?) So Matt grabbed Jonah, I grabbed the diaper bag, we did a last second "got the tickets" check, and off we went. It was a long way (or a "right fur piece" for you western North Carolinians), and we were truckin' it.

Jostle. Jostle. Jostle. Churn. Churn. Churn. Bounce. Spin. Shake.
(That was Jonah's stomach while we walked, apparently.)

We got the stadium entrance, went through the ticket gate, power walked to the complete opposite side of the stadium, and hiked up to our upper-level seats. There were no free rows up at the top. The place was packed (as hinted by the overflow parking at the football stadium). WFU must have GIVEN tickets away (aka pathetic attempt to fill the stadium and screamed of our desperate need for a win). I don't remember the stadium ever being that packed unless we were playing Duke or Carolina. It was crazy.

And crowded. Did I mention it was crowded?

By the time we made it to our seats, the lights were off, the loud music was on, and the starting line-ups were beginning.

Enter loud motorcycle and blow up inflatable giant thingies.

Nervous churning. Uncertain rumbling. Anxious squirming.
(That was Jonah's stomach again, unbeknownst to us.)

I put Jonah on my right hip so he could see all the action and bounced along with the "get pumped" music. All was good and right with the world.

(Except not really. Patrice, did I mention that you're an IDIOT?)

And then, friends, it happened. Yes, IT.

Heave, gush.

"Matt (tap, tap, tap on his shoulder), Matt, I need the burp cloth."

I cleaned Jonah up and thought, "Okay, we're alright, that wasn't so bad. His shirt has some puke on it, so what?"

Heave, gush.

It was big this time. There was no coming back. It got all over me, all over him, all over the floor, and all over the seat back in front of us. I sat down with him and faced him toward the outer aisle.

I tapped the guy's shoulder who was standing in front of us, holding a three or four year old little boy.

"Excuse me, Sir. Don't sit down. We've had an accident, and I don't want you to sit in it."

(Awkward, uncomfortable, slightly annoyed look from man.)

The woman with him was super gracious, took some of our wet wipes and helped us start cleaning up. "I have kids. It's okay. Things like this happen."

Heave, gush.

"Oh my goodness," she exclaimed, shock on her face.

Me (in my head): "Yeah, I bet your kids don't do that."

At this point, I just yelled (it was very loud) for Matt to give her ALL of our wet wipes (did I mention we had about six?), he used his coat to clean up the huge puddle of vomit off the floor, and we escaped as fast as we possibly could. I gave Jonah to Matt, so at this point we were all three covered in vomit.

As soon as we got out of the stadium the first thing I said was, "Well, at least we don't have to see all those people until next season."

I feel so sorry for those poor people. We cleaned it up as best we could, but there's nothing like the smell of stomach acid and puke to go along with your basketball game hot dog.

It was terrible.

Here are my tweets from the ride home:

momtobabyjonut: Just tried 2 take J to first WFU game. Hiked a mile, got 2 our seats & he gushed everywhere. All 3 of us COVERED in puke. On the way home.

momtobabyjonut: Also puked on the guy's seat in front of us. Luckily he was standing. We made it through the starting lineups. Totally gross.

Yes, it took two tweets to describe the disaster that was the Wake vs. Clemson game starting lineup.

The next day Matt said, "I saved Jonah's ticket for his scrapbook."

Ahhhh, the memories.


Lucy and Ethel said...

I trust you'll save this post to go with the ticket :)

I'm sorry you didn't get to see any more of the game (okay, more of the starting lineup) than you did, although your account of the non-game was certainly entertaining for those of us stuck in the middle of taxes.

Next time, you'll know to take at least seven wet wipes....


mom21xy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mom21xy said...

As a parent of a son who had other issues that causes him to throw up at the drop of hat - I could so relate to your story; we have many of our own! And is it bad that I laughed until I cried? It will get better. Hang in there.

Mike and Molly Spivey said...

wow - I was very concerned during the whole story, but actually laughed at the last line that Matt said - so thoughtful of him :)

Shelly Cunningham said...

You... are hilarious! Even though I'm sure that actually sucked, you had me laughing the whole time!

Beth Herring said...

Oh, wow. I was feelin' it comin' - the puke and all. Poor Jonah. Poor Patrice. Poor Matt....

Well, at least you tried - you did take him and that's alot more than most parents do. You are a great mom and Jonah is a lucky/blessed little boy!

Mrs. O said...

Well, that's one way to always remember the first game Jonah attended!! Loved it!!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

I know it's not the same thing, but one time I had Nathaniel in Gymboree (remember, he was our gusher), and he projectile vomited (his specialty) from the stroller all the way onto a rack of clothes. I had to buy four outfits that day because he vomited on them. They were boys' clothes, but not the right sizes. Plus, one of them was ugly. And I couldn't give them as gifts without taking the tags off and washing them first, so I ended up giving them to people at church after I washed them. I offered to clean up the carpet under the clothes at the store, but they said they'd handle it. Still, not a happy experience.

ALTHOUGH, not as bad as the time my cousin's 5-year-old pulled down his pants and pooped under a rack of men's suits at Parisian. See? It actually could be worse. ;)

Unknown said...

This is one of "those" stories you will remember and talk about when Jonah is a teenager and he will be "mortified" when you tell it. Someday you will be able to look back on this day and laugh about it.

Amy Dalon said...

Oh my word- that is terrible, disgusting, and funny (because of how you told the story) all at once!

katrynka said...

I have to say, although it sucks that it happened, you tell the story in quite a humorous way!!

John and Crystal Pinegar Family said...

Ha Ha Ha! This story is classic...and one you'll remember forever. It's just a part of parenthood, we have a funny story only it wasn't barf, something farther south. I'm sure you'll have more stories like this as you go along. Too bad he didn't wait until the end of the game. :)

Island Jack's Travel said...

LOL! I think most parents have "been there, done that" with their kids. This post needs to be saved for your memoirs as it is definitely a classic. Yet, you handled it with grace and good humor. Thanks for sharing this funny and human moment in your life.

Love, Janet

Unknown said...

oh well. atleast he didn't puke in the car before ya'll hiked a mile to the stadium!! not that it makes you feel any better..but i was cracking up at the way you told the story...i was not funny but the way you told it was hilarious! i guess it is better to laugh than cry...i love how matt saved the tickets..priceless! better luck next season. much love and blessings~erin

Schill said...

Maybe he was just so excited about his first game that he just a "bit" of the nerves.

Laura A said...

Yikes! But I love how you can take this kind of a situation in stride, and put such a great sense of humor into it!

Didn't Wake end up losing that night? (Not sure - because down here all we EVER hear about is Big 12.) So maybe Jonah had some inside knowledge of this and wanted to spare you and Matt having to watch the Deacs lose?

Hope you and Matt are feeling better (saw your tweet on the sidebar), and will pray that Jonah will NOT catch it!

Love from TX!

PS - couple of fast questions - 1) how are Jonah's boy parts? 2) how is the eating going? (Hope both answers are happy ones!)

Lisa said...

Babycakes don't sweat it! All will be so forgotten in a day or so. I just wish you would have stayed. Maybe next time more WIPES or BURPEES...

Susanne said...

I am sorry a fun night turned in to such a not so fun night. I have a story that I hope will make you feel better. I was flying from the East Coast to the West Coast one time and the little girl behind me got sick all over the person sitting next to her mid flight. The person happened to be the mayor of their town. THe mom was so embarrassed and the mayor how no clean clothes to change in to so he had to stay covered in someone else's vomit.

Unknown said...

This is my first time commenting, but I had to share. At least it was your baby who threw up on the person in front on you, and not you. I insisted on attending a sold out major college football game a few days after injuring my back. Knowing that I would have to sit for a long time, I took two pain pills instead of the usual one. Apparently I don't tolerate high doses of pain medication. About 10 minutes after kick off, I threw up all over me and into my husbands jacket. My husband looked at me sort of shocked and said "let's go". I would have loved to, but I knew I couldn't move--it took about 30 seconds for round 2 to hit. This time, I threw up in the sweatshirt I had been sitting on. I don't THINK any of it got on the people mere inches from me, but I can't be sure because I held the now soaked jacket and sweatshirt to my face and ran out of there crying hysterically. Once outside the stadium I hid behind a tree while my husband bought an extra large t-shirt from a vendor for me to wear as a dress so I could chuck my clothes.

So, don't feel too bad. It HAS happened to others, and I didn't even have the excuse of being a baby.

........ said...

Oh man! My 3 kids don't have EB but boy did they have gushers! They could projectile about 3ft. out! You poor girl...poor Jonah. I know the frustration of giant gushers and add that on to the daily struggles with EB and worries of him gaining weight and I just can't imagine how frustrated YOU must be! I'll keep praying....for Jonah and for your sanity!

Penny said...

So sorry but I hate to say been there (well, not THERE) and done that.... yep pretty much THAT. While watching the Jonathan Sperry moving at the theater after my 2 year old proclaimed for the 2nd time Me POTTY NOW!!!! loudly my 7 year old quietly said "Mom, I don't feel very good" and within seconds as I pushed him around he tossed (upchucked)his popcorn pretty much everywhere except the ladies hair sitting in front of us. We were sitting one row infront of a church youth group.... ah yea, you get the idea. We haven't been to the movies since... lol

Take heart, it does happen.

Unknown said...

Glad you saved his first sports ticket. Very good.

So sorry about the gushing. It reminds me of taking my 6 month old to the Rolling Stones, at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, and he puked all over me.

alexandrea said...

my lil one is a gusher too, although it is slowly getting better.
While I am sure you were mortified, the way you told this is funny. I even read it to my hubby who laughed.
Last summer we had gone on a little mini vacation with my 10 year old step son and baby who was around 8 months at the time. I always kept a extra outfit in my car for myself becasue of her gushing. Anyway , it is the 4th of July, since we were out of town we went out for dinner at Red Lobster, We had just paced our order and lil miss starte fussing, I try and calm her down and heave gush , gush , screams , gush all down the front of my shirt, and some even in my bra, and all over the all over her. I was mortified, our waiter brought us a towel for clean up, i get the baby all cleaned up and then head to the car for my clothes.
I get tothe car and they are not there, aarg, our place we are staying is at lesat a 20 min drive . I finally find a sweatshirt, ugg. (did I mention that it is close to 100 )
Anyway, we ended up stoping at t store so I could get some new clothes/ It was horrible, but now I find it hilarious.
We also now have cups (aka barf cups) all over our house , We just use those free ones we get,,like from 7 eleven (the ones you can wash) Now at 17 months when she feels barfy she points to it and whines, or if she is in her highchair she tries to lean over her tray.
So I do feel for you on all gushing and feeding aspects.

May you have a blessed week.

Unknown said...

I felt bad laughing at this story, but your writing is so funny! Poor baby Jonut.

It was fun reading the commenters stories, too. Everyone's been there, done that, so whaddya gonna do :)

Courtney said...

Awwww. Sorry you guys. I have a vomiting in the stadium story too only my baby was eating food and it wasn't like milk vomit. So was nice for everyone to wait until we left to move down some though. Hang in there.

Nora Lee said...

Sorry for the gusher at the game...BUT look on the bright side, what a great scrapbook story!

Wanda Wilkinson said...

Be sure to tell this story to the coach when Jonah is being recruited to play b'ball for Wake Forest... Jonah knew how to get excited for WF when he was only 1 year old....I needed a good laugh today..came back from my weekend a the beach to the fact my son had been back in the hospital with problems on that drain they put in for his ruptured appendix...Had to check in on my buddies...hope to see you soon

Love & prayers

Lacy said...

Patrice... I know it's not funny... but OH MY LANTA! This is hilarious! Kudos to you both for at least TRYING to go to the game! I'm sure Jonah loved every second of it...

I'm still laughing... so funny!

Just Add Walter said...

oh gosh... poor thing! You guys handled it as well as you could and that is the most important thing!

Unknown said...

hi, i don't know you or your family but have been honored to learn about your struggles and triumphs through your blog. i can't imagine how you do it. you probably know about it already, but i saw a story about EB today in the New York Times and wanted to make sure saw the visibility that this disease is getting and the very strong 15 year old who is featured in the story. the link is :

Karen said...

I've been reading your blog and praying for Jonah for a while now, but this post beats all for holding up under enormous strain. I laughed all the way through it, even though I could guess what was coming.

Since other folks have posted their stories, I'll post mine. On a trip to England for church meetings, we all went on a bus tour--well those of us who weren't suffering from the flu went. My then 3 (I think) year old son was sitting beside me on his first ride in a coach. Up hill and down dale we went. I saw my son slumping down a bit in his seat, but just thought he was tired..until he upchucked all over the nice plush bus seat, all over my wool jacket and slacks, and all over my backpack (it was never the same after that). The bus stopped for us and we stripped him down, cleaned him up as best we could, and moved to a seat at the front. At the next town, my husband found him a shirt, and I bought a new summer (it was May and very cool) outfit which I wore with my parka for the rest of the day. At our destination a close friend of ours carried him on his shoulder with his bare legs tucked into his coat until we could find him a pair of pants.

The most humiliating thing about the whole affair was messing up the bus seat--it was a lovely coach! And he didn't have the flu--he just got car sick.

Jennifer said...

I am so laughing right now. ANYONE with children can relate to things like this. Maybe not exactly with all the details but we have all had these types of moments. They are the MEMORIES that you will one day treasure (and torture Jonah with!). I am so glad that you survived and don't have to try that again for several more months! Thanks for sharing! You are a great story teller! Jennifer in Southeast, NC

Nancy Bane said...

Mostly I'm just a lurker, but I just have to comment this time. Patrice, you just don't sugar-coat it, and I LOVE THAT! Even though I'm sure you were embarrassed (I would have been), you just made me laugh so much!! And yes...oh, the memories!

Patty said...

Oh Patrice...I am so sorry. I did have to chuckle. You had such a sense of humor in your post. I know that you would have cried otherwise. Jonah is so worth the trip there and back. Have a great week!!!

Ellen said...

Oh well ...puke happens! I'm sorry this happened at the game! But at least the guy was standing and not sitting in the seat! :)

I hope you guys didn't have a long drive home all covered in puke! My 1st daughter was a gusher too! Horrible.

jennifer ;) said...

I might have justed wet myself laughing at you guys...might have (mom of 3 you never know). To fun reminds me of our Santa trip last year...we had found out the day before hudson (2 at the time) has autism. Life goes on, needed to feel normal, couldnt tell the boys that I couldnt go see santa. Well we went. We have an OK picture that the people thought i was crazy because I took the worse one of 2 out of 3 kids but hudson looked good...feel bad now. so we went to the food court... I let a two year old eat 12 nuggets and drink lemonaid after seeing santa. He was happy! then we puked on the floor, the table, our twin brother and the shoes of the buisness man at the table next to us. he stood up and not very nice said "Great, could my day get any worse!" all I could do was cry and tell him "Yes, it could! It was puke and it comes off and my son is autistic.....and the rest neither he or I could understand. My 4 year old said I think we should go home so we did. It happens and I laugh and almost wet my pants now when I tell this story!