Washington DC hopes and a funny story

Hi Friends,

This is going to be random and seem out of place but give me just a second and read to the end please. :)

Do you guys remember a post I did three years ago about starting with a company called Beautycounter? I have been with the company for almost three years, and I am just more and more impressed with the products they make, but even more importantly the work they're doing - selling high performing SAFE personal care products, educating women through access to information and education/mission focused socials, and even lobbying in Washington for more health protective laws. Did you know that the European Union bans 1,400 ingredients from personal care products? The United States bans ELEVEN. We are seriously behind in this arena.

I haven't blogged about it except for that one time, just because I didn't want this blog to become a sales platform. (But I've wanted to a million times because I really wanted to use it as an education platform. :) )

BUT...

I have a really cool opportunity I thought some of you might want to know about. The top three sales people in NC this month (along with the top sales folks in other states) get a trip to Washington DC in May to actually meet with Senators and other Congressmen/women to talk about the lack of regulation in the personal care product industry, and ask for better laws that are more health protective. I would actually get to go and share Jonah's story with CONGRESS MEMBERS and talk about how concerning it is that in just putting products on his skin to heal wounds, I never know if that product is safe and free of toxins that could contribute to skin cancer (or other cancers) down the road. And how that is not okay.

If you think this is crazy, will you please watch this? It's a piece that ran on MSNBC last year that really sums up what Beautycounter is all about and the work they're trying to do.



I can PROMISE you that the products are amazing and that our ingredient selection and screening process is above and beyond anything else you will find on the market. Our never list is made up of over 1,500 ingredients they will never ever use in their products.

So if you'd be interested in trying products (and maybe helping push me to DC), you can order here:
http://beautycounter.com/patricewilliams


Of course, feel free to email me with any questions of if you need recommendations or gift ideas at patricesbeautycounter (at) gmail (dot) com. There is also a 60 day full money back policy, so it's pretty risk free. :)

Okay, thank you guys for "listening." I'll update soon on the family. We are all doing well. Jonah remains stable. Gideon remains silly and mischievous. I remain tired. Just kidding. It's a wonderful life. I miss blogging and I miss all of you. I really do have lots of thoughts I want to share all the time but don't ever make it here to share them... because, you know, sleep. The ol' grey mare ain't what she used to be.

If you want to hear a funny story, here is one I posted on Facebook last week. Every day is like this. Well, maybe not exactly like this.

From March 9th:
This just happened. Soon I will laugh. Not right this minute. I was letting Jonah and Gideon play outside while I got lunch ready. They had been out there approximately 120 seconds when Gideon came in, having pooped in his pants. As I was getting his underwear off (sticking my hand in poo), Jonah starts incessantly ringing the doorbell for me to let him in (he can't open the door handle by himself) because he has to pee. When I let him in, the dog runs out and won't come back because there are people walking on the street in front of our house THAT HE MUST SNIFF RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR HE MIGHT DIE. I go out to try to get him to come back and next thing I know, Gideon has gotten off the potty and runs out to us (yes, the walkers too) without pants or underwear, just as free as he can be, in his t-shirt and tennis shoes... with poop STILL on his bottom. Things like this are the answer to my question when I get to the end of my day and wonder why the heck I haven't gotten anything done.

in which i decide that dignity is overrated

I get lots of compliments on my haircut. And I seriously love it. My hair-cutty girl, Shannon, is the bee's knees and does a great job. I love her. If she ever moves salons, I will just have to follow her around town... and pray she doesn't up and move to North Dakota or something. I love good hair, but I love not freezing my butt off even more.

Anyway, my friend Lindsey recently got her hair cut pretty short too and we were at her house the other night discussing our recently shortened hair. We both agreed that it's pretty rockin' but then she asked, "But does yours look CRAZY in the mornings?"

The answer, Friends? A resounding yes. I cannot believe how my hair looks in the morning when I wake up. It's bad every day but if I've put product in it the day before, it is OUT. OF. CONTROL. the next morning. Matt never says anything, but bless his heart, he's got to be holding it back. I don't know how he doesn't just laugh out loud.

Thankfully, on Sunday morning, I woke up and showered before him, so he didn't see me like I was. I woke up, looked in the mirror, and immediately saw this:

And then I immediately grabbed my phone, snapped a photo, and texted it to Lindsey. To which Lindsey replied, "What? I say wear it like that today. Put a little gel and hairspray in that hot mess and head out the door."

Why did I do it? Because honestly, there's nothing better on an early Sunday morning, than laughing at a friend's expense. Or your own.

So there you have it. I have no dignity left. You're welcome.

i got nothin'

Yesterday Matt mowed the yard. Jonah proceeded to have a complete and total sobbing meltdown at the glass door, NOT okay that his daddy was doing something new, outdoors, and potentially dangerous without Jonah's close observation. So instead of being able to get things done in the house, we had to go out on the back deck and watch him mow the backyard and then had to move to the front porch to watch him mow the front. Ahhh, life with an extremely inquisitive yet overly timid two year old.


Once we were outside, in close proximity of Daddy, all was well.

(Please disregard the Polysporin/Aquaphor prints on the door.)

My attempt at taking a photo of the two of us...

... apparently it doesn't work with a 50mm lens.

Matt was leading his small group at church tonight, and we had sort of an "incident" at home. I'll let my Facebook statuses tell the story.

there is an animal of some sort (bird?) in my dryer hose in my house. matt's not here. it's either going to a) eat me or b) die and stink up my house. who wants to come over? manly men? women with something to prove? someone with a fly swatter/bat/lamp/broom stick/gun?

Possible false alarm. Possible pterodactyl invasion.

WOOHOO! Found my clorox pen behind the dryer. Also, does pterodactyl poo smell really similar to toddler poo? If so, we definitely have a pterodactyl invasion.

Fortunately (I guess), it turned out to just be the crinkling of the vent hose as it slid off the dryer. I didn't know this until I moved everything off the top of the dryer, drug it out, sat on the dirty floor and struggled for a LONG time to put the hose back on. In the meantime, Jonah went into my room, pulled most of the wet wipes out of the box, closed himself in there (not locked, but he doesn't know how to use door knobs yet) and pooed his diaper (which really ticks him off). Anyway, after (sort of) getting the hose back on, I turned my back to clean up for a minute or two. When I turned back around I saw this.

Having a toddler is fun. Totally made the whole dryer hose thing better. :)

happy birthday to me. here, have some new underpants.

Yesterday was my 29th birthday, and it was a great day. My mom dropped off her delicious pasta salad that I love and some pound cake on her way to work. Jonah slept an hour later than normal. Then, my friend, Sue Ann, my dressing change help for the day, brought me Panera Broccoli Cheese Soup and some French bread. She also gifted me with some really pretty, unique dangly earrings. I love big earrings. 


Matt gave me two new CD's I've been wanting - J.J. Heller and Gungor. Look them up. They are both so good. And tonight, Matt took Jonah duty so my lifelong best friend, Kathryn, and I could go out to dinner. While we were gone, he set up our Christmas tree train for me. Jonah is really into trains right now, so I hope he loves it. Either that or it's going to make him scream. It's really loud.


It sounds pretty much like the perfect day, right? Almost. During Jonah's nap time I went downstairs to print out some coupons for my huge grocery trip I did yesterday afternoon (we were in there for almost an hour and a half... Jonah was AWESOME!). The UPS man came during that time and Deac started barking his head off. He really hates the UPS folks. I came running up the stairs, yelling at him to shut it before he woke Jonah up. Just as I got to the front door, my feet flew out from under me (clean floors and sock-feet don't mix) and I slammed down on my tail bone. Thankfully, the UPS guy had already turned his back, so he didn't come back. THAT would have been even more embarrassing. More embarrassing than what, you ask? More embarrassing than the fact that AS SOON AS I made contact with the floor, I totally peed my pants. (Insert eye rolling and grimaces of all friends and family members that wish I wouldn't share quite so much on the old blawg.) It's like, after birthing two children, you don't even have the option of holding it. There was no urge to pee or even a thought of "Oh no, I'm going to wet my pants." It was just, slip, boom, PEE instantaneously. Crazy phenomenon if you ask me. So there, for those of you who have missed the humor on this blog, I give you "Patrice wetting her pants." You're welcome.


I knew, because of all that we've been through these past three years, we were aging exponentially emotionally and spiritually. I did not, however, think that I was aging that fast physically too. It seems all I want need for my (29th!) birthday is a walker, a LifeCall emergency button (I've fallen and I can't get up!) to wear around my neck, and some Depends.


Please don't forget the Depends. 

we're going (went) to the zoo zoo zoo

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, Matt, Jonah, my sister Sarah, and I went to the zoo. I had been meaning to take Jonah all Fall and it just hadn't happened yet. I was afraid it would just get colder, so even though it was chilly with a high of only 51, it was good we went... seeing how the high this week has been in the mid-30's. Jonah was a lot of fun. Cool for other people is perfect for us, and it was not crowded at all. He loved strolling in the sunshine and would pay attention to the animals who were close and active. Unfortunately, it was cold so a lot of the animals were sluggish and because the NC Zoo has so many great habitats, a lot of the animals are a little too far away for a 21 month old's focus. I may consider a zoo membership as he gets older. He did not like the indoor, dark exhibits at all and cried in most every one. He would cry and say "okay, okay" which is how he says "all done." It was heartbreaking and adorable at the same time. I thought my sister was going to pee her pants from the cuteness.


I don't know what this face was.

Jonah being scared of the Sea Lions.












Jonah being scared of the Puffins. He refused to even look at them. (I, however, adore Puffins. Matt's favorite is the Fennec. We missed him somehow.)

For being known as such a ferocious bear, the Polar Bear sure is cute. I was amazed at how big his paws were.
Deac sometimes lays like this and I think it's pretty funny. Not as funny as when a Polar Bear does it, but funny nonetheless.

This is a photo of an otter. Jonah could focus on these guys because they were pretty active. And by active I mean I'm pretty sure that they were fornicating. I didn't post the photo of that. You're welcome.

Jonah's favorite part was the 4D Dora and Diego movie we saw. He's all of a sudden really into "Gah-Goh," as he calls him. Sarah and Matt pushed me to do it, but I was worried that he would freak when the lights went down and the sound was loud. Much to my surprise, as soon as the movie started, he said, "Woweeee" and "Gah-Goh!" and kicked his legs the whole time. He LOVED it.

He did not, however, love when they took his 3D glasses aways. PUNKS!

The giraffes were completely out of view when we got to there, but soon came galloping from behind the tress. They were only visible for a couple minutes, but it was so cool to see stampeding giraffes. (Can it be a stampede if there are only four?) Anyway, it was really neat, and we got there at just the right time.

We had a great time and I can't wait to go back in the Spring.

our weekend

On Friday night, we went over to our friends, Shawn and Jen's house for dinner. It was the first time that their oldest, Jude, and Jonah really interacted and played together. Jude is four months older than Jonah and I have high hopes that they will be best buds.

Jonah liked this Cars book. It was one of those with the buttons that make sound effects.

Any time Jonah has a play date with kids near his age, there is lots of yelling, squealing, and growling on his part. He just gets so excited he can't help himself. (See Exhibit A)

All the boys (minus Jonah... who was probably still growling on the other side of the room).

We love Shawn and Jen so much, and Jonah, Jude, and Cohen will all be so close in age. I'm glad Jonah will have some cool dudes (with some cool, and you know, Godly, parents) to hang with (with whom to hang?).

Today we took Jonah over to our neighbor's yard to swing again.

I think he could swing all day. He gets so relaxed and starts closing his eyes. It's so funny. I'm glad he loves it. Fall is on its way. It's still going to be a little warm for most of this week, but hopefully we are just one or two weeks from consistently cool temps.

I've had a really rough weekend. I started having severe lower back pain on Thursday. I have Scoliosis and wore a brace in middle and early high school, so I sometimes have some minor back pain. But I guess between daily lugging around a 26 pound 18 month old who can't walk, getting a bee in my bonnet and moving a heavy TV by myself last Thursday, and my painting job this past Tuesday, I overdid it. All of that to say that I've been in really bad shape. Finally, on Friday, to make it through the day and be able to care for Jonah, I took some prescription strength muscle relaxers. They helped my back pain but by the time we got home from Shawn and Jen's, I was completely flu-like achy from my legs to the back of my head. So I took more relaxers. They helped. But then, once several hours had passed, I would get the back pain back and would be aching severely. I was getting nervous wondering what horrible disease I had that would make my back hurt like that AND make my whole body ache and give me headaches. All day Saturday I was fine the couple hours after I took the muscle relaxers and then I'd start feeling HORRIBLE again. Today, we didn't go to church because, basically, I've been an invalid, and I went to Urgent Care. They couldn't make heads or tails of why my back pain would/could be causing the flu like symptoms and said it was possible I had a virus on top of my messed up back. Well today, I finally figured it out. This morning, I only took two ibuprofen because I didn't want to be doped up when I went for my appointment. The only issue I had this morning was the back pain. I felt better than I have in three days. Then, when I came home, I took the muscle relaxers again. I was okay for an hour or so and then got achey with chills again. I was on the couch most of the afternoon, feeling horrible. And then it hit me: I'M APPARENTLY ALLERGIC TO THE MUSCLE RELAXERS. So that's good news. grrr... At least I figured it out. I'd rather tolerate the back pain, which I hope will go away with time, than suffer through HOURS of flu-like achiness. I have been in bad shape. My back only really hurts if I'm having to bend over or if I'm transitioning from one position to another. I'm okay if I'm just sitting or just standing. So anyway, I know that was long and rambling, but I'm just so happy I figured it out. Geez. I'm a little slow sometimes.

My sister came for a visit this weekend, and we had a good time diagnosing me on the Internet. We were fairly certain I had Meningitis, Brucellosis, or a Pterodactyl bite. Seriously though, it was scaring me, so I'm glad I figured it out. And that it's not a Pterodactyl bite after all. That would have sucked.

go dash (or something)

The opposing team. BOO! (or something)

Matt, very intently studying the rosters and stats.

Like, very intently.

Me: "Hey, what's so interesting?" "Oh."

Me: "Hey, look over here. These photos are boring. Don't worry, I'll make them HUGE on blogger so they seem more colorful and interesting... albeit slightly chopped off on the sides."

Me: "Nooooow we're getting to the interesting part."

Jon H., I took this one for you. Now if a certain Father-in-Law starts bragging about making it to home plate, you have photographic evidence of the starting point. What can I say? That's what friends are for.

A real pitch. Sort of. This guy wasn't that good either.

There were a few of these that broke up the monotony, but I have come to the conclusion that I'm just not a baseball girl. (Interestingly enough, they did NOT put up this bright, exciting sign when the OTHER team made a home run.)

A shot of us shortly before...

We left because the guys behind us were sufficiently drunk and increasingly annoying. They were saying stuff like:

Idiot A: Do you know what a "butter face" is?
Idiot B: No, what?

Idiot A: An ugly girl with a good body. Everything "butter face" looks good.

AND

Idiot A (in loud, redneck voice): Come on, Man, ask me if I'm havin' a good time?

Idiot B: Are you having a good time?

Idiot A: Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle?

AND

Idiot A: I guess that guy just got back from Mamby-Pampy Land.

Idiot B: (laughs... sort of)

Idiot A: It's going to be great when "Mamby-Pamby Land" gets out. It's going to spread like wildfire. And I started it."

On that note, Matt asked if I was ready to leave and go get dinner. (UM, does a one legged duck swim in a circle???) In my ten years with Matt, I have never known him to leave a sporting event early, so I knew they must be getting on his nerves...

So off to Chili's we went where I ordered the ever-delicious Margarita Grilled Chicken.

The End.

What's that? Who won? Honestly, I DON'T EVEN KNOW. Matt said when we got home that nobody else scored after we left. Huh. You would think that would tell me something. But, nope. NO CLUE AS TO WHO WON THE GAME. But man, I could give you some details on that Margarita Grilled Chicken. Priorities, folks, priorities.