Friday, September 25, 2009

you know you're sleep deprived when...

You know you're sleep deprived when...

... you are trying to purchase something online, you go to type in your address for shipping, and you can't remember your own zip code. So you have to go into your junk drawer to find one of those return address labels your auto insurance company sent you as a "thank you" just to figure out your OWN address. You think to yourself that you should really send your insurance company a "thank you" for helping you know where you live, but sending them a thank you note would require you knowing yet another zip code. And really, one zip code is hard enough.

... you spent about thirty minutes one day cleaning up a pukey, poopy baby, requiring you to call your husband home from work and do major bandage repair. Several hours later, when you go to throw something away, you discover that amidst all the chaos you apparently threw one of your child's six wearable onsies in the trash and have to fish it out, because, obviously, you cannot distinguish between it and a poopy diaper.

... you are half asleep (and trying to blog and watch Grey's) while you are cutting Tubifast. You look down to see that not only have you cut your four hundredth piece of Tubifast, but you've also cut the draw string off your pajama pants.

... you are watching a Braves game where they mention a Matthew West concert. When they give his web address, matthewwest.com, you comment to your husband how weird it is that he spells his Matthew with two t's. "Two T's? Who does that?" you say in disbelief. "That's rare." Your husband looks at you like you're crazy. So you say, "Is that how you spell YOUR Matthew?" He comments that, yes, that's not only how HE spells HIS Matthew, but also 90% of the Matthews in the world. He holds it over your head for the rest of your life.

34 comments:

Julia said...

Bless your heart. I am doing a David Letterman-esque top ten list of things they do not tell you about babies in the baby books. Sleep deprivation (and what you will do to get your child to sleep) play very heavily in that list!

By the way, I love your blog. I have been a lurker since the day jonah was born but have never commented. It is one of my daily must reads!

Anonymous said...

Thanks. My husband now thinks I am crazy because I am laughing out loud at my screen. What he doesn't know, is that you can't keep your pants up because you snipped the drawstring! Haha!! That was best laugh I have had all day!!

Still praying for Baby J (and his hilarious mommy & dadddy) in Mississippi!

~Dana M.

Anonymous said...

This is so funny! I pray for Jonah and love to read your blog about your sweet boy! You are such a great Mom and definitely an inspiration to me!

Sharon

Janel Waters said...

Seriously - GIRL! - GO TO BED!

I have another one for you...

....when you just had a baby and haven't slept in 72 hours, you finally catch a nap and start dreaming that you are talking to the pediatrician on call at the hospital, only to wake up and find that you ACTUALLY ARE talking to the pediatrician and you now have NO idea what you have said or how long he has been there.....

Abby said...

I can SO relate! I'm 5 months pregnant and have a 2 year old running around the house, so obviously, sleep is a hot commodity around here! The other day at work, someone asked for a manager's extension, and instead of giving the correct number, I gave my zip code! See - we'd make a good team - I know the zip codes, and you can figure out the phone numbers!!! Hope you get some better sleep soon and that Jonah gets over this throwing up hurdle!

Lynnette said...

It's been a long time since I laughed this hard at a blog post. Thank you!

Sharon said...

This is one of the funniest posts I've read lately. Thanks for the laughs...now go to bed!

Anonymous said...

YOU.ARE.SO.FUNNY!

I hope you get some much needed rest and a great weekend with your family.

Wendee in Lewisville

The Redfields said...

At least you can laugh about these!!! I loved #3!

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

At least you can blame it on sleep deprivation. I do things like that every day. :)

Heather Allen said...

Oh my word...you really DO need sleep. I hope you get the rest you need soon!

sullivan0221 said...

I wish I could make you laugh as you make me laugh. I love your stories, recipes and your spanish lessons. You guys are always in my prayers! Helen Sullivan

Anonymous said...

simply HILARIOUS!!!!!! i feel your pain sister!! I have a good one that happened to me last week from lack of sleep due to going to school, working, and having an internship all at once....

"you know you're sleep deprived when you walk up to the door of your HOUSE to unlock it, and proceed to push the 'unlock' button for your CAR"!

LOL i was in disbelief when i realized i was doing that hahaha!

*megan from wi*

KK said...

I had to look up my zip code the other day and I have NO excuse!

jenlar3 said...

I remember one time being so tired that as I watched the numbers on the vcr go backwards, I asked if it meant that time was going backwards. Turns out my husband was rewinding the tape and I was looking at the counter and not the clock!!!

Hope you get some sleep soon!!

*Mirage* said...

Oh you poor mama! I had to laugh but it's really not funny that you are THAT tired! I remember one time I poured my daughter a bottle- it was a drop-ins bottle and I'd forgotten to put the liner in it. So milk went everywhere. I just watched it run out the vents int eh side of the bottle, off the counter, onto the floor, and burst out crying because I hadn't gotten more than 3 hours sleep in any 24 hour stretch in several months so crying over spilled milk made perfect sense. Sending you **HUGS** and wishing you a good nights sleep! (Whose night is it?)
P.S. Did your carseat strap covers come yet?

KM said...

Oh, this one was too funny! Thanks for the laughs- and I hope you get some much-needed sleep.

Anonymous said...

I read your blog quite often, but have never commented before. Just wanted you to know that you seriously crack me up!!!! I am also a sleep deprived mom of 2 little ones and you just brightened my morning with this post. Your family is always in my prayers. :)

-Lindsey K.

Claire said...

Oh bless you, honey! I hope you get some rest soon! Love your blog.

Cxx

JenniferNe said...

Oh I wish I could help you but maybe a laugh instead...

You know when you are sleep deprived and worked too long when you get off work at McD's and answer the ringing telephone "Welcome to McD's Can I take your order please?"

God Bless!

Lauren said...

i'm with katherine. you have the sleep deprivation to blame it on, when that sorta stuff happens every day to me. made me laugh, though, also because i can just picture matt's reaction on that last one. give her a break, matt... :)

(looks like we'll be heading that way halloween weekend to the river house near boone. think we could stop by on sunday nov. 1st for a visit in the afternoon?)

Sharon Rawls said...

Prayers for you !! I have never commented before - but I have to tell you on the Matthew two T thing. My husband's name is Michael - goes by Mike most of the time - though his parents would NEVER call him Mike. But I had a period of a year or so where I suddenly could not remember if it was "ael" or "eal". I literally would struggle every time I had to write the name- and I may have had a baby in the house -but nowhere near what you have gone through with precious little Jonah!

Natalie Whisler said...

The "Mathew" story was just too, too good. Sleep deprived sisters around the world thank you for sharing that gem.

Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

I forgot to tell you about the time when Nathaniel was little and he was running a high fever. I was up most of the night with him, and then in the morning gave him a teaspoon of Motrin in his bedroom. Three minutes later, I brought him downstairs, opened up the kitchen cabinet and gave him ANOTHER teaspoon of Motrin. As soon as he swallowed it, I realized what I'd done. I called the pediatrician, and they said it was fine. I would have had to doubledose him several times before it would have been a big problem, they said. But let me tell you, I was mortified!

RLR said...

I have also tried to use my key fob to unlock my house (wouldn't that be SO convenient when you are carrying kids/groceries)! AND - tried to scroll down a page on my laptop one day like I do on my cell phone... my cell phone that has a touch screen. Obviously, that didn't work too well - and my husband laughed at me!
Hope you get some rest real soon!

Janan said...

The "Matthew" thing is clearly quite funniest thing I have heard in a long time. What ever you do, get some sleep.

Kristi in Colorado said...

LOL!!!!

My most sleep deprived moment was when my now 3 year old was a few weeks old. I went to Noodle's and Company to meet my husband for his lunch break. We go in eat and he carry's the baby to my car for me. I am digging for my key's assuming I locked the car and can't find them in the bottom of my purse. Meanwhile I am looking around wondering who's car is on... well it was mine. I not only left the keys in the car, but didn't turn it off. Oh, also, it was parked in front of the police station. Geez, it was embarrassing!

Mimmy said...

Sweet Baby. Get yourself some rest this weekend. One of these days, trust me, you will look back on this day and laugh, laugh, laugh. Jonah will even laugh too. Tell Matt I said to not be too unkind to you. Love you all to Heaven and back.

God Bless,
Mimmy aka Aunt Joyce

Pam said...

lol yes you are sleep deprived. especially since you would not have even had to get off your computer to find your zip code...it's easily googlable :).

If it makes you feel any better, I am NOT at all sleep deprived (school aged kids), but yesterday I had a big garbage back upstairs, emptying the bathroom and bedroom waste baskets, and emptied my daughter's entire hamper contents into the garbage bag, and kept on moving on to all the wastebaskets. Luckily I did realize I'd done before I took it out for trash day, but I had to pick through all the icky bathroom trashes (and it was tampon week no less) to retrieve all of her dirty clothes....

Anonymous said...

ok i have to confess to you that my husband's name is also matthew and i was filling out our passport papers and i spelt his name mathew to which my husband said "my name has 2 t's" after arguing with him "really", well i guess he knew how to spell it. after 5 years of marriage i to questioned it and felt so embarressed that i couldn't spell his name correctly! that's two funny that we had the same experience this past week! give jonah lots of hugs! julie from arkansas

Linda said...

Thanks for the laughs! I don't think I have ever commented before, but I have been reading your blog since Jonah was born and have been praying for him ever since. I have lots of sleep deprivation stories myself, but yours are hilarious! I've put the milk in the cupboard one too many times and the dishes in the wrong place. I have a 10 month old who still doesn't like to sleep all night, and this past week while he was sick he and I didn't sleep at all! Sure made it hard to keep up with his 3 year old sister during the day! I love your blog and it has become one of my daily must reads!

lifelaughsandlove said...

Ha! That cracked me up :) Sleep deprivation does funny things to people, but you take it to a very amusing place. Thanks for the laugh!

~Amy

Mandi @ It's come to this said...

Oh those made me laugh! Especially the one about "Matthew", but also made me sad b/c I can only imagine how tired you probably are!!! I hope you get some good rest soon!!

Laura A said...

Just so you know, I'm not laughing AT you - I'm laughing WITH you!

I hope you are able to get at least a little rest this weekend. Also hope you'll be able to get to Target to get some more PJs!

Love from TX!
Laura