He is doing an online Fantasy Football draft. (1 hour and 45 minutes and counting...)
Ask me how long he spent preparing for it... Go on, ask me.
I bet he put 12 hours into ranking pretty much every stinkin' player known to man (but not really known to anybody, because he ranked lots of players nobody has ever even heard of). He ranked so many players, he had to take some off the list, because Yahoo wouldn't even accept that long of a list.
What's the saying?
Those who can't go pro and don't have time to play sports anymore, because they have to work all day and then come home and help take care of a high maintenance baby play Fantasy.
Oh - I made that up? My bad.
So I've been thinking of ways to supplement our income now that we are one income down and the bills just keep a comin'. (Funny how that happens, huh?)...
So for this week only, for two easy installments of only $19.95, I will steal his rankings list and fax it or email it to your husband/boyfriend/fiance/brother/father/cousin once removed.
And I GUARANTEE Fantasy Football Season success. Because believe me, NO man has put as much time into ranking tons of meat-head players who may or may not rack up points in a fake game as MY man.
I'm so proud.
But Wait! There's MORE! Be one of the first ten customers, and I'll also have him shoot your husband an email on how to tweak and modify these rankings based on what number pick he draws (because, apparently, that matters... DUH!)
ACT NOW! DON'T DELAY! And the very real man in your life can have very fake success in a completely made up season of Fantasy Football, consisting of a not real team of players who go against each other in real life, but somehow manage to earn points on the same team in Fantasy World.
And if you're lucky like me, your husband will start saying things like, "I'm pulling for the Panthers, but if the other team has to score a touch down or our quarterback has to get sacked by someone or the opposing team has to make an interception, I hope it's ____________ (aka enemy player on the other team) who does it, because he's on my Fantasy team. Because after all folks, it's no longer about real games and true team allegiance.
It's all about the completely made up team of players that put points on HIS not exactly real scoreboard each week. It's all about showing all your friends who is best at picking who will be the best, but having absolutely no control over their performance whatsoever.
And on a completely different note, of course (oozing with sarcasm), I joined a new club today.
Click here to check it out. (No, seriously click here or this joke won't be funny.)
And as a member of this club, I may or may not buy the following two apparel items:
- a bright new shiny t-shirt with this statement:
- and/or a nice pair of boy-shorts underwear with the following:
Won't you join me, sisters?
WAFS united will never be defeated! WAFS united will never be defeated!