a smorgasbord

Warning: All I have in my head as I begin to type this post are weird, random snippets. Please do not expect a cohesive post. If you came here with that expectation, stop reading now. Seriously. Stop.

Jonah Update - Jonah is doing well. He's gaining weight (they tell me he's getting fat) and his weight at last check was 11 lbs 15 oz (with bandages on). My guess is that the bandages weigh a good pound. He's smiling and cooing on a regular basis now, and I can't tell you what this does for my morale. He seems to love me the most (and daddy too, of course) which is how it's supposed to be, and that makes me happy too. For a while I felt like whenever he was awake, he cried, and that he hated me for all the crappy stuff I put him through. But nope, he seems to love me a lot, so no worries. He smells delicious, and has the sweetest little grin you've ever seen. I'm going to try to get some video here pretty soon, but you know how they'll never do their tricks when you want them to. He's getting to where he's happy most of the time unless there's an issue (tired, hungry, poopy). Speaking of poopy, he has pooped A LOT today, so I don't know what's in the breast milk that he's drinking today that's cleaning him out. That's the bad thing about pumping... you never know what you ate a month ago that's having X effect on him. But man, I wish I knew because I'd be sure to eat that again when we're having our constipation issues. We're having a better go of it as far as nose boogies are concerned in that he's not getting dried up ones in the back as much, and he's able to eat much easier. Aren't you so glad you get to hear about my son's nose boogies?

OT tomorrow - The OT comes tomorrow. I'm really nervous about it. I don't know why, except that I know he needs a lot of help with his hands (his thumbs are pulled in and the top joints of his fingers are crooked), and I'm sure the reality of it all is about to smack me in the face. Although you saw pictures of mittens in the last photos I posted, his hands were still wrapped underneath. The mittens were just there to protect his face. I feel like they are softer than the outer layer of bandaging. Anyway, after tomorrow, it will probably be time to start unwrapping his hands, and it makes me want to vomit when I think about the blisters that he's going to have. His sweet little hands are just perfect as far as his skin is concerned. But I can't wait to feel him hold my finger and touch me with his bare hand. So far he's only grasped my finger when I have an Aquaphored glove on, and usually it's in protest of me trying to wrap him. Please be in prayer for his evaluation tomorrow and our inevitable unwrapping of his hands (whenever that ends up happening). We are getting his services free through Child Development Services something something, so that's great. So far, I have just set up appts with OT and a nutritionist, although there are other services available as we need them.

Dressing Changes - We have started doing them around 5:30 every night, and it is GREAT! We do it on no pain meds, and he's totally cool with it. I mean, sometimes he gets fussy, but not because of pain... just because he's ticked to be lying on the table for over an hour. Sometimes he's the happiest during dressing change that he is all day - surrounded by people giving him attention, diggin' some Baby Einstein, lying there getting to kick his legs - he's a lot of fun. We're so happy to be getting it OUT OF THE WAY, so we can either have free time (yeah, right) or at least spend our evening doing "normal" parent stuff (feeding, changing etc). Matt and I are both less stressed and more relaxed now. It's been a life-saver.

Night time - Oh, please don't get me started. Jonah was up yesterday from 4pm to after midnight... not AT ALL interested in sleep. We tried rocking and bouncing and letting him fuss it out. All to no avail. And because he stayed up so long, we had to do a midnight feeding (that he's usually asleep for). I was SURE he would sleep through his 3:00 since he had eaten that extra feeding and hadn't slept in forever, but nope. Old Faithful was up at twelve, three, and seven. And to top it all off, he didn't go back to sleep between eight and ten like he usually does. Little stinker. I guess when you've drugged your kid to sleep for 11 weeks of their life, they really don't know how to go to sleep on their own. (Note: Jonah is not completely off of Morphine and Ativan. He should be off of them completely in 15 days if he doesn't show any signs of withdrawal. We are now giving him Morphine at 8pm and Ativan at 9pm in hopes that if they do zonk him out, they will zonk him out at bedtime, not at 7pm. I can't wait for him to be completely off. He doesn't need them now, but it's a slow process to get him off without causing him different issues.)

Sunday - Thank you for all your comments on Sunday's post. They've yet again lifted me up and renewed my spirit. I'm so thankful for this crazy blogging world - to be connected so intimately with the Body of Christ - Amazing. I hope to meet you all someday to thank you in person. But sorry, people, no cruises in our future. Heat and humidity - HELLO! Maybe we could all go to Alaska... oooohhhh, what about a cruise to Alaska? Anybody want to donate a cruise for about 500 people to Alaska? Anyone? Hello? Are you out there? Tim Duncan? Help a girl out. (Go Deacs! Go Spurs! You're way more awesome than Ginobili and so on and so forth).

A few short questions answered:
- I have help during the day (taking care of Jonah, laundry, dishes, but more than anything, emotional support - I'm not so great at being alone... never have been), and either that person stays til 7:00 to help with dressing change or someone else (my mom, Matt's mom, Kathryn etc) comes to help so person A can go home.
- We were married at Bonner Point in Bath, NC (east of little Washington). Supposedly it's where Black Beard was born and called home. It was a beautiful (but hot!) day, and I couldn't imagine a more perfect wedding. I always knew I wanted to get married outdoors, and it was the absolute PERFECT spot (and free too... it's a public park).
- Yes, we can (and do... an insane amount) kiss Jonah. I all the time give him very gentle hugs and squeezes. We usually do hold him in a blanket (to prevent accidentally rubbing him), unless it's just to pick him up to switch out blankets. A lot of times we hold him with a gel pillow behind his head to help cushion his little (seriously little - in the less than fifth percentile) head.

And finally, Happy Birthday to Gerry (Matt's dad - yesterday) and Trent (Matt's best friend - today). Thanks to both of you for being so incredibly wonderful and such a huge part of our support network. WE LOVE YOU!

That's all for now. See? I told you it would be random. Next time maybe you'll listen. You're so stubborn, always having to learn stuff the hard way. Won't you ever learn? Sheesh.