Saturday, March 28, 2009

to the ONE

I sat down at this computer to write a post entitled "to the one." And this post was going to be my angry rant against judgmental people who leave nasty comments on strangers' blogs about things and situations they can't begin to imagine, without full knowledge, information, or empathy. To people who leave judgmental comments to mothers and fathers who have lost much, suffer plenty, and are only trying to do the BEST thing for their son, even if it's risky, unpleasant, painful, or difficult. And it seems it always is.

But then I read this and this.


And I decided that it wasn't necessary. Stephanie is right. When God is being glorified through a situation or people are falling to prayer in a way that maybe they haven't done in a while, Satan will attack. He will do whatever he can to take eyes off of God, eyes off of a sick little boy, eyes off things that are pure, excellent, and praiseworthy and he will try to put those eyes on things that are negative and angry.


So, I'm letting it go. And I want you guys to let it go. I appreciate the support and all the comments in response to the comment, but let's let it go. And if there are more negative comments, just email Jonah's address and let me know it's there (just in case it takes me a while to read it), but I don't want to give much attention to that kind of thing. I plan on this being my last post on this subject. As much as I love you for sticking up for me, I just don't want us to validate things like that.


So...


Now this post is entitled "to the ONE." And it's to the ONE who is healing my son. It's to the ONE who gives us unimaginable peace and comfort day in and day out. It's to the ONE who made Gabe's death a victory. It's to the ONE who rocks my Gabe to sleep at night and cares for and loves him more than I ever could. It's to the ONE who has saved me, has saved Gabe, and has saved Jonah, one way or the other. It's to the ONE who died for me so I can live. And it's to the ONE who has forgiven me, so I have no choice but to forgive others. (And believe me, forgiveness is not something that comes easy to me). This post is to the ONE that knows my heart and my intentions and holds me accountable for those rather than the mistakes I make. And people, I've made plenty. And I'm sorry to those of you I've ever wronged, to the ones I've judged, to the ones I've hurt. I want to put eyes back on the ONE who loves us when we're unlovable and forgives us when we're unforgivable.

To [the ONE] who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Jude 1:24-25

52 comments:

Watts Family said...

All I have to say is "YOU GO GIRL!" What a great post....you really do inspire me with your strength and faith. Have a great day and give Jonah hugs from all of us in Texas.

Many Blessings,

Amanda

Megan @ Hold it Up to the Light said...

Well Said, Patrice....you truly are AMAZING! I am praying for you and that precious Jonah everyday!

I don't know how you are holding up and filtering all this, but I hope you know that you owe NO ONE an explanation.

You just go and you love that baby boy, and you love that baby boy in Heaven, and you trust in the ONE who loves you all more than anything!

You are one AMAZING person!

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry you had a nasty commenter. I was sad to hear of the circumcision, but I have zero doubt that you have Jonah's best interest in heart and mind. Its a decision that some of us may not understand, but that doesn't matter. The decision was yours alone to make. I didn't read the nasty comment, but no matter how strongly you feel on a subject that doesn't give the right to harass others about it.

On another note, I've been following you all along, and I can not wait until these posts are coming from home instead of the waiting room! I have been so sucked into your story and your wonderful boys.

My name is Ashley btw, I'm putting this in as anonymous because I don't have a google or yahoo ID, and I don't know how to do it any other way. I don't like using anonymous though.

EdwinsonFamily said...

Atta Girl!!! (is that how you spell that?!) You have more important things to think about, like a cute little boy you love so well!

purejoy said...

i second that. you go girl! such a sweet and heartfelt post. don't waste a minute's energy on negative comments. how they couldn't be touched by your blog is beyond me. don't give the enemy a foothold. give it all to God and to Him be the GLORY!!

Anonymous said...

Wow this is really going around at the moment! I just had a rant at another site where someone complained about a picture of a dead baby. It was taken from behind, you could hardly see him and I thought it was a powerful and beautiful picture of death and his mother's overwhelming grief. But some imbecile decided to complain and they took it down. I'm surprised nobody has whinged about Gabe's picture on here, that will be next. When they do, you tell them where to stick it.

I see the comment was about circumcision, I didn't see what they said so hard to give a full opinion. I have to admit I went "You did WHAT?" when I read it but as you said you consulted doctors so I didn't see the need to question you.

Marie.

Stephanie said...

oh, yeah!!! Preach God's goodness!
To God be the glory for the great things He has done!!!!
FYI... you may want to turn off the ability for anonymous to post.

Have you heard the song
"I have to believe" by Rita Springer?

I thought of you as I listened.
You can go to www.playlist.com and listen to it.

Also, listen to "Healer" by Hillsong.

Go BABY GO!! Into all the world!!

Love-
Stephanie

melanie said...

When we get on their level...they win. You showed grace under fire. So proud!
Aunt Melanie

Diana said...

Just found your blog through Kelly's Korner and I have been reading it the past several days... wiping away tears of sadness but mostly of pure JOY!!

Can't wait to hear about the homecoming! Sending prayers your way for the big day.

Diana in GA

Desha said...

I have such a horrible tendancy to speak first, think later. The comment yesterday had me so riled up. Thanks for putting things into perspective. This post was just what I needed to hear today. Still praying for little man as he gets ready to come home. I am sooooo excited for you! Hope the bandage change went well tonight. I was thinking of you both!

Jennifer Pelkey said...

Patrice and Matt,
I was very glad to meet you both in the waiting room outside NICU a few days ago. You may not even remember; I just introduced myself and gave you a card.

We are so happy that Jonah is going home on Monday. What a special day that will be. We think of you all the time, and our family is absolutely in love with little Mr. Jonah! He is adorable, and so perfect.

I think the two of you are amazing parents. Jonah is certainly fortunate to have been born to two such loving, caring, and devoted parents. We have a son too with special needs, and I have to admit at first we had all of the feelings of "Why me?" But those feelings quickly passed because I began to feel so thankful he had been born to me because I knew I would love him and take care of him and always do what was best for him. Thank God he was born to me so he could get the care he needed.

This is the same for Jonah. Thank God he is your son because he will always get anything he needs and he will not ever be more loved by any two people on this earth.

We think of you often and pray for you every day.

Jennifer, Darren, Matthew and Charlie Pelkey
Elkin, NC

Tammy E. said...

Your posts are so inspirational. God is using Jonah's sickness in mighty ways to touch the lives of others. I'm so glad you're being a willing vessel. God will bless you for being faithful. I pray Jonah continues to do well. I can't wait to read your many posts from his 1st birthday, his 2nd birthday, and many more to come.

Anonymous said...

You and your husband know what is best for your child. You would give your life for him. I believe you can make a decision about what procedure Jonah needs.
Stay strong and remember you are an amazing inspiration to mothers everywhere. Jonah is blessed to have you .

LisaShaw said...

AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

Anonymous said...

I believe nothing pains the devil more than when something he intended to drag us down only makes us stronger. Kudos to you for raising above and beyond when you have every right to get down & dirty.
Continuing to pray for your family & Jonah daily. God Bless You and Keep You!

Cathy said...

Still praying for you all! Can't wait til you get to go home and be a family together without all the other people around. Enjoy every moment of this precious boy's life.

Darcy said...

God bless you! It is so amazing to watch Him work in you and watching Him heal Jonah. Thank you for continuing to share your story. Praying for you and Jonah daily!

Bridgesfam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bridgesfam said...

First of all, I'm so glad to hear you're taking him home in 2 days! I know you just want to retain some normalcy in your lives and to fill that nursery. Congratulations! Second of all, you two are the ones calling the shots for Jonah and it shouldn't be anyone else's concern for the decisions you make for him. Though I don't know you,just from reading your blog you seem very attentive to his needs and you haven't struck me as people who take making a decision lightly. All a parent needs to do for their child is try to make the best decisions for them. So, be proud of yourselves for doing such a great job and try to just drown out the few idiots that try to make you second guess yourselves. Jonah is lucky to have you two because from what I can see you'll always fight for what's best for him.

Anonymous said...

My only comment is, "AMEN"

Praying and FROGing in Louisiana.

Becky

HoltonFamily said...

Dear Williams Family,

I don't know you but I feel like I do after reading your blog. I just want you to know I have been praying for you and baby Jonah for a few weeks now. You are ministering to me also, as I witness your faith and perserverance during this time of hardship. It is very encouraging to see those who love the Lord give Him praise in the midst of suffering. I will keep praying for the Lord's blessing on your family.

Praying for baby Jonah in Ga,
Jennifer H.

Susana said...

I can't even believe you are having to write a post addressing this kind of thing. You are doing such an amazing job. Every decision you make for Jonah is made in complete prayer and love and with his best interests in mind first. Your posts are always heartfelt and your family's story is a faith builder to me. As always, prayers and love from my heart to yours, Jonah's and Matt's daily. Praying for Monday. Praying for Jonah and praying for you that you will have the guidance and emotional support you need from our Heavenly Father as you get ready to bring your sweet baby home and care for him.

Unknown said...

I can't believe it's been a month already! I check every day for updates. I'll be praying for pain control with dressing changes and for his discharge and appts. to line up smoothly.
Millie and Colin-HLHS

Anonymous said...

I AM MORE AND MORE AMAZED AT YOUR POISE, CONFIDENCE, AND GRACE WHEN PUTTING WORDS TOGETHER TO SING THE PRAISES OF THE LORD. DAY AFTER DAY, NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, YOU PRAISE THE ONE,WHILE MAKING SURE TO GIVE THANKS TO THOSE WHO ARE PRAYING FOR THE WILLIAMS FAMILY. NOT FORGETTING TO GIVE JONAH UPDATES. YOU ARE ONE STRONG YOUNG LADY(MOM,WIFE ETC).
PRAYERS FOR ALL GOD'S GIFTS.
2SHOES

Janel said...

Patrice -

I'm sure you know I will have an opinion on this subject, but it is not to validate anything that the poster said - so here goes.

There will be MANY more times in Jonah's life where you will be faced with a very tough and controversial decision, and I KNOW that you will do what is best for Jonah (as you just did). There will be many more people who voice uneducated opinions on things that are none of their business. I think that this comment (which I did not read) came from a place of evil to test you and your faith and I certainly feel that it is just the first one to come in what will be Jonah's very long life!

There will be a thousand questions, a thousand looks, and a million curious children. I personally think that all of these events work to shape EB patients into the very strong, thoughtful, confident children and adults that we become. (dontcha like the way I compliment myself!! ha ha!!)

So - shake it off and say a prayer for the poster - that evil will release its hold on their heart and mind and especially pray that they will never have to endure such trials as the Williams Family has.

I have been a little busy and not feeling the greatest lately so I haven't been posting here - but I am still reading and still praying as always.

I am so excited for Monday and HAPPY ONE MONTH BIRTHDAY!!

Janel

Crystal in IL said...

Oh boy. Religion, politics and circumcision are the three top topics I find people get fired up about. Although I don't personally agree with the operation I totally respect your decision as little Jonah's parents to do it. No one loves him (besides God :)like you do. I admire your ability to keep your focus on Him and Jonah and let the negative stuff fall away. Keep your chin up! Praying for you guys as always.

as written by Barbara said...

Patrice & Matt,
Been praying and following since Jonah birth... I found you from a fellow blogger.
Your faith is your strong hold. God is your Rock and Foundation.
Thank you for your Witness to all of us.
May the Lord Bless and Keep you through the night and wake you with renew strength with the morning light.
Continuing to pray for you all,
Barbara Lyman
Marysville, WA

Excellent Parent said...

yeah, love this post!

Michelle in Va said...

So sorry you have to even address idiots. Any decision you make for your son, is just that, your decision. We all know you and Matt only have the very best interest of your son at heart. People need to mind their own business and get back to the reason we are all here, and that is sweet baby Jonah. We are all here to pray for the continued health of that sweet angel and the continued strength for two wonderful,loving parents. Praying that Jonah will have continued pain management and healing. Glory be to God!!! God is so good.

Mocha Mama 24 said...

I've been following your blog since Jonah was born. I pray for you every night as I'm feeding my little one.

I'm so happy that Jonah gets to go home Monday and will be praying for all the details I'm sure you have to go through. Our baby was in the NICU when he was first born and it was quite the process to get out and I'm sure not nearly as complicated as what you're dealing with.

What a great post about the "One". Thanks for sharing.

Renee said...

I don't know you personally but have to say you are one amazing person and mother. Keep it up. Jonah and Gabe are lucky to call you mom.

Baby Bird said...

I will give GOD glory for the courage and strength (supernatural as Bill talked about last Sunday night) that you possess to take the high road and not let satan get ANY glory:)
I love you girl and will say an extra prayer for you tonight! Thanks for giving me something to share with our teen choir too...can you believe that our theme for summer tour is ONE...will have to share that with you when I get the chance:)
God is smiling down tonight while he rocks that sweet Gabe and cradles precious baby Jonah in HIS arms!
YOU ROCK!!! Love, Aimee Pence

brightleigh said...

Kudos to you Patrice. You inspire me--you really do. I think it is great that you are handling this with great maturity. When tough things happen, people look for holes in your faith so that they can add to them. As others have said, be sure to pray for people like this. Oh, and you are starting to sound like MckMama. Jonah is so lucky to have you and Matt.

Much love and prayer,
Leigh

Mimmy said...

Patrice, your faith and strength continue to amaze me.

As I opened your blog tonight I noticed something I had not seen before. Look just above Jonah's right eye in the opening picture of your blog. If we could get physical validation of God's love, this would be it. The blisters are in the shape of a heart as if God had kissed Jonah on the forehead.

Get some rest and continue to have the back of a duck.

Love you to Heaven and back,
Aunt Joyce

Anonymous said...

That was perfect and very beautiful. Thank you for reminding us. He really is THE ONE.
Daisy (Alabama)

Brandi said...

I cried reading your post. Knowing that there are people out there who would have anything nasty and mean to say to a mother and father who are battling to save their child. Who have suffered more than anyone has a right to suffer. Yet your faith remains strong. And you remain steadfast in knowing God has a plan for your son. Jomah couldn't have asked for a better mom to be his prayer warrior! Many prayers being sent to you from New Jersey!

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrice,
I also want to take a second and comend you on how you have handled not only the unfortunate critism during this time but the last year of your life. You have done it with grace and courage that I can only hope to strive for in my daily life. I have found that no matter what the situation or the circumstances you will always find there are people who will have something negative to say. You will also find as a mother that people will always have opinions on what you should or you should not do as a mother. When my first son was born the people with good intentions were some of the people who added to the stress of new motherhood for me! I was desperate to be a "perfect" mom to my son and would always get conflicting advice. At one point I finally threw up my hands and said to myself, " I am his mom and I will just have to consult with God and his father and pray I make the right decisions for his life". Even though my sons were born very healthy I still get a lot of critism for not circumcising them. But that was MY decision as their mother. Just as it was YOUR decision as Jonahs mommy to make the right deicision for HIM. I still struggle from day to day with being a so called people pleaser but something I remind myself of is a a quote from Bill Cosby (yeah I know its sort of weird) " I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody". And its the truth! As you have shown, you only have yourself and God to answer to. There is no other mother that could compare to you for Jonah and God knows that...he gave you to him just as much as he gave that precious child to you. So, get on with your bad momma self and forget the people who tell you differently. You are nothing less then amazing, beautiful, strong and wether you asked for it or not, an inspiration to mothers and women everywhere. I feel blessed just finding your blog. Thank you for sharing your journey.

Much Love,
Mel

Anonymous said...

How sad that you have to endure the attacks of thoughtless people. NO ONE has the right to question any decision you and Matt make concerning Jonah. Only YOU have the details; the knowledge; the strength; the love to make these decisions. When you are doing the will of God, the devil will attack. As we continue to pray for Jonah's healing, we will continue to pray that God sends his angels to surround and strengthen you during this difficult time. Rest in the Lord. God Bless you all.

lisa said...

BEATIFUL post! You are a blessing to everyone who comes to this blog. Continued prayers and love to the Williams family....sending gentle cuddles to Mr. Jonah! :)

Just me said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, being the daughter of the ONE who knows pain, and the ONE who was, is, and will always be, victorious over death. The hope we have, isn't in things here, but in the eternal!!! How amazing is that! God bless.

Erin said...

You are such a strong and amazing woman. Thank you for sharing your story. Our family is keeping yours in our prayers. God bless Jonah!!!
Erin in VA

Paige said...

I am sorry that you even have to deal with something like that. It makes me wonder why type of person would feel the need to cause pain to a family who has already endured so much. You have more important things to deal with than cruel comments and more important things to celebrate -- like a one-month birthday! Congrats on meaking that milestone.

Amie said...

Awesome! What a praise post that was! Good for you Patrice. May God continue to guide you in this path, give you wisdom in your decisions regarding Jonah, and help you to forgive those who need it the most. God Bless!

Melissa said...

Well handled, Patrice...'nough said...

Anonymous said...

Praise God for always, always being the great physician that you look to for guidance in Jonah's life. You & Mat are awesome parents. I speak from my own experience there are always cruel people in this world, but you have learned early to ignore them. The 3 of you (Jonah, Matt & you) have helped me revitalize my prayer life & faith. God has His hand on your lives and his showing his mercy & grace everyday in Jonah's life. 3/30/09 will always be his 2nd special day, the date he comes home to live with mommy & daddy. I love the 3 of you. I will continue to pray for the 3 of you. Keep loving that baby boy & following God's direction. Hugs, kisses & snuggles . May God bless all of you. Wanda Wilkinson Durham NC ( i do not have an idenity, so that is why it is sent anonymous, but include my name) :)

Anonymous said...

people who don't know you and leave nasty posts have nothing better to do in their lives. i guess we should feel sorry for them, as hard as it is. but you already know there are 10 times the people who are supporting you and your family......including me.

lindsay

Anonymous said...

my computer broke and i didnt know the address to ur site.. i was dying to know how my lil man jonah has been doing.. but i found it! whew!! i just typed "Jonah eb blog" and there u were. So, yeah, its official... ur family is def on the mind of some crazy girl in jersey every day.. lets go jonah!! lets go!! clap clap.. =)

Anonymous said...

this is beautiful

if i was in your situation i know i would never have the strength to post something so touching and uplifting

i pray for you and your beautiful son and family.

God will bring him through this!

James' Full House said...

Oh, he is just too precious. I have been following but never left a comment till today. Jonah has been in my prayers.
Thank you for this post. I was working on a post about having doubts about God's plan and then I read your post. I have decided I am not giving in to Satan's seeds of doubt. MY GOD IS BIGGER than all of this. He loves us and holds every tear we cry.
Will continue to lift you all up in prayer. He is beautiful and perfect.

Brandi

Crystal said...

Hey there is always that one person who is truly unhappy out there and they are just looking to ruin someones day - don't let it. They are usually the know it all type too. Just remember - they need prayer to - because they don't know that they need it - they are to worried about raining on someones day.

You are doing great!

Jennifer Strosnider said...

you are beautiful.
your family is beautiful.
your boys are beautiful...
i know you are just reflecting The True Beauty. :)
i love you!

Mrs B said...

I am so with you! I myself am dealing with tragedy and when I get a comment about how I am not being "Christian enough" through the pain, it grieves me. I am crying out and trusting God! What more can I do? I am not divine, but human! It's so easy to say "this is what I would do in this situation" but until you've been there, felt the deep sorrow, you have no idea. Be strong. God knows your heart.

God bless you sweet sister.