Saturday, September 27, 2008

catching up

It's not that I haven't wanted to post lately, I just don't feel like I've had much to say. Additionally, I am SOOO tired in the evenings I can barely keep my eyes open. I know exactly when it hits 8:30, because that's when I start falling asleep on the couch. I HATE falling asleep on the couch. All I can think about is the moment I have to get up, trudge to my room, put on my pj's, brush my teeth and take my contacts out. After I've dozed on the couch, those all seem like insurmountable chores. I dread them as if they were the hardest things in the world. It stinks. I HATE falling asleep on the couch. I'm hoping some of this exhaustion will wear off soon, but am thankful for every symptom.

I will fall out in the floor if this baby is not a girl. Everything about this pregnancy is different. I have had no nausea (as I did with Gabe), have been extremely bloated and gross feeling (which I wasn't with Gabe), and am so tired in the evenings I can barely move sometimes. I don't remember being that way with Gabe. Anyway, all that to say that it will surprise me very much if this one is a boy too. But who knows? I have NO motherly instinct. I was sure Gabe was a girl until the moment we found out differently. Shows what I know. Our gender appointment is Oct 28th.

I can't wait to start feeling this one move. With Gabe, I was 17 1/2 weeks when I started feeling him. I'm hoping to feel this one sooner since I know what to expect, but we'll see.

My ringback tone is about to expire. I have had "Praise You in this Storm" for a really long time. I'm ready to change it although I LOVE that song. Any suggestions? I definitely want it to be a God song, but nothing is jumping out to me at the moment. I would be okay with no song, but if I don't put one on there, you will be forced to listen to stupid elevator music when you call.... and it's torture... and I wouldn't do that to you.

Recent interesting names:
This week: Shafreeka Shananna
Last week: Name: Jala Alicia Previous/Maiden Name: David

I got a job! I have accepted a part-time position with Young Life that I will begin on Tuesday. It is a behind the scenes / administrative sort of position. I will be working for the regional director for NC doing things like writing the newsletter, keeping up with the different regions' finances, some event planning, communicating with the leaders, etc... I will know more once I start. I'm also going to be working with a woman who is beginning a Spanish preschool program. We only have one school right now but are expecting growth. I will be teaching a 4-year-old class and a 5-year-old class to begin with. I'm kind of nervous as I have never taught that age group before. But at that age they are sponges, so I'm really excited about it. THAT is the time to start teaching them another language. The Board of Elections has also agreed to let me continue working there part-time until the election is over, so that will help. Please be in prayer that all will go well with the new jobs and that our preschool program will grow. It will hopefully be the BEST parts of teaching without all the stuff I hate (unsupportive administration, paper grading, discipline issues, lame-o staff development).

I have been summoned for jury duty on November 5th. I will be trying to get out of it using my job at the Board of Elections as excuse (eh-hem I mean very important, valid, necessary reason). But if I do have to report, don't worry, I will make $12.00 an hour... no, wait... $12.00 for the day. I got confused. Kathryn reported but got out of hers by saying she was against the death penalty. I am also against the death penalty so hope this will make them NOT want me. Do you think that will get you out of a parking ticket or vandalism case? Probably not.

I miss Gabe. Matt and I went to Moe's on Wednesday and there was a couple there with their little boy. He was 7 months old. Gabe would be 5 months. I imagined what he would be like at this age, how our lives would be different, what his smile would look like, what his laugh would sound like. Would he be skinny? Chunky? Would he be sleeping through the night? What color would his eyes be? Would he like a paci or prefer his thumb? I get sad when I think of all the things I'll never know about him, all the things I'll miss out on. I know WE are the ones missing out, not him.

I read this on a blog I read often. It is written by a father who lost his son at 10 weeks to SIDS. I have identified with many of his feelings. This one touched me especially.

Every morning I place two things in my pocket that remind me of Luke. Every night I remove them from my pocket and place them on the counter. One is his ID bracelet from the emergency room from the night he died. The other is a piece of white linen with a scarlet ribbon tied around it. One reminds me of his heaven date. The other reminds me of the day we will see him again. One reminds me of the saints who rushed to the hospital that night. The other reminds of the saints who will return with him and Jesus in the clouds. One reminds me of the brevity of life. The other reminds me of Jesus and his sacrifice. One reminds me of his way-too-short 10 weeks with us. The other reminds me of eternity together. One reminds me of the mortality of his body. The other reminds me of the garments he will wear when he rides as a warrior in heaven's army. Both are becoming tattered and show the signs of wear and tear from being in my pocket. Both are precious to me. Neither should not be part of my daily routine.

That's about it for now. Apparently I DID have some stuff to say. Sorry for how long it is. I guess that's what you get when I haven't posted in three weeks.

May you cling to God and his amazing grace as He carries you through your coming days and weeks.


brightleigh said...

Hey chicky! Congrats on the multiple job ops. We have been thinking of you guys a lot lately. I have been meaning to email you about Seth's pediatrician. His name is J. David Rhyne and he will be at Winston Salem Pediatrics. I didn't know where you planned on going, but I remembered you saying to give you his name. Hopefully, you will be over your exhaustion soon. We miss you and hope to talk to you soon!

Lauren said...

my favorite song right now is watermark, "knees to the earth." it's the chorus that goes, "be blessed, be loved, be lifted high. be treasured here, be glorified. i owe my life to you, my Lord. here i am..."

so i wouldn't mind listening to that one. but "praise you in this storm" has also worked well :)

Meghan said...

Patrice - I SO empathize with you on the falling asleep on the couch thing. I HATE to fall asleep on the couch. I've tried to explain to Michael how it feels and why I can't get up to brush my teeth, change clothes, etc. but he just doesn't understand. You described it perfectly - the getting ready for bed routine seems like an insurmountable task once you've already fallen asleep somewhere else. Mom gave Michael some advice when we got married. She said, "Don't let Meghan fall asleep on the couch and if she does, don't even try to wake her gently or be nice about making her get up. Just skip straight to yelling. MEGHAN GET UP AND GO TO BED NOW! is the only thing that works." She's so right. I hate being yelled at - especially when I'm asleep. It's the only thing that makes me mad enough to actually expend the effort to get up. I'm glad you can relate. :) Oh, and not sure if they have this on the ringback tones, but my vote is In Christ Alone. There's a new version out w/ Bethany Dillon and some a guy who's name I don't remember.