Saturday, August 25, 2012


God is so good and big and faithful and amazing.

I just finished Beth Moore's Believing God study, and in one session she talks about us reaching our Gilgal. Gilgal means "circle" and was the name of the first place the Israelites camped when they came into the promised land. Beth talked about God bringing them full circle out of their Egyptian captivity and into their promised land.... saying that we all have a promised land, but unbelief is often the biggest obstacle keeping us from it.

Anyway, after we had to say no the boys' placement in our home (and felt clarity that it was a definite no), I was so sad, mad, and confused. Why Lord? Why would you let us get that call? Why would you let our family be chosen? Why would you let us love them in our hearts for a week, and then when finally meeting them, have us say no? Why, Lord?

That was on a Tuesday. On Thursday, I went to my girls' bible study, and we watched the last Believing God session, and it seemed (even to the other women in the room) that everything Beth said applied to me and my heartbreak.

Phrases like:
- Anything that waits, it's because God has something better for us.
- Wrestle a thing out. We run a race well, not by refusing to wrestle, but by keeping the faith during the fight.
- Continue to believe, even when God doesn't answer the way we expect.
- Faith always receives. (Eph 1:18-20)
- Faith soon sees. (1 Cor 13, 2 Tim 4:6)
- God is a can-do, able God, with an outstretched arm. He is powerful and he loves.

A week later, this past Thursday, Matt and I got a call about a newborn legal-risk placement that needed to be discharged to a foster family from the hospital. We brought him home on Friday. It is very likely that we will be able to adopt him and he'll be ours for forever, but it could take a year (or more?). We have a long road ahead, many fears to pray through and face, and a hard journey. There is still risk. But we step out on faith, and we are going to love Baby G with all our hearts. And trust God to do his thing.


And oh, the purpose of our experience with the boys? The toddler boys' social worker is also the social worker for Baby G. After choosing us for the boys and it not working out, when she got the call about this baby, she immediately chose us to be his family. Had the whole situation and heartbreak of not being able to bring the toddler boys home never happened, this social worker would have never known we even existed.


I am in tears at the faithfulness and love of my God. He is so good, y'all. Even when we can't see. Even when we're in the dark and can't see the why or the purpose or the good in it all. Just keep believing him to be good, faithful, and BIG.



Elyse said...

This is just amazing! He chose you to love HIS child! Beautiful message!

Britt said...

I'm just SO beyond happy for you guys and I will be praying for this whole situation! Much love!

Toni :O) said...

Wow!!! Amazing and so beautiful!!! I love the picture of you kissing him and the one of all of you on the porch-so precious! Great message, I needed to hear that today, thank you! God bless you all!

Julie Glover said...

Wow! Tears in my eyes..... Amazing!

Anonymous said...

So happy for your family. And love your headband. I have a purple one. So glad to see another woman my age wearing one. Ha!

Anonymous said...

Amazing goodness comes with faith and you, Matt and Jonah have such strong faith. The joy in your faces is so touching. God will carry you through this adoption. I am so happy you are able to enjoy midnight feedings and 2 a.m. diaper changes with your new baby. I pray daily for you and will continue. Holly in ND

Unknown said...

I am crying at your words! What an awesome God we serve! Praying for you and all involved. Jonah looks over the moon, he'll be an amazing big brother!

Anonymous said...

And you didn't even know you would be getting a brand new baby to love on!!! What an amazing surprise and blessing!! God is great!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!

Unknown said...

First of all, I'm so excited for you all! Second, can you reach out to this sweet family? They just had a baby born with eb a few days ago

Gracesmommy said...

So AMAZING the greatness of our God! What a blessing to have a new baby to love on... Jonah looks so excited! Yay for being a big brother!!! I read about baby Easton too and immediately thought of you. You have helped so many others. I commented your blog on theirs. I hope you don't mind, but I'm sure they could use some guidance and love from a fellow EB mama. Praying for all of you in these new chapters of life.

COME ON BABY said...

Yay yay yay!!! Yay! I love reading your blog. You are an amazing woman. I can wait for you to share this journey with us. I love how excited Jonah looks. ADORABLE!! YAY!!!

Unknown said...

I will think of you and pray for you when I am up with my own little 11 day old in the wee hours of the morning. So delighted to see such a beautiful answer to prayer for your family!
I am a peds nurse (recently retired to be a mommy) who has followed your blog for years, having cared for a couple of kids with eb over the years. I am sure Jonah must be ecstatic to be a big brother!!

The Buchanan Family said...

Congrats! Praying for ya'll. Jonah looks like he is taking well to the whole BIG BROTHER thing! YAY!

carla said...

Wow! Congrats. He is one lucky little boy, to have yourfamily love him. Praying things work out.

Tanya said...

I am not sure what happened to my other post but wanted to say Congratulations! I am so happy for your family.
Blessings~ Tanya

Kriss said...

I have three adopted children from cps. The first two were a legal risk ;) it's been 7 years. It was scary at times with the risk of losing them but it all worked out. Congrats!!!