It is always my intention to be real here - to show both sides - the downs along with the ups, the valleys along with the mountain tops. And I will tell you this about myself - I am not stable. What I mean is this: For me grief or suffering or going through this (whatever you want to call it) is a roller coaster. It's how I deal. I'll have two or three days of really up and high, and then I'll sink back down. I think Matt, on the other hand, is experiencing a more steady, constant emotion (whatever you want to call it). Regardless, it sucks for both of us, and we're having a hard time.
Usually, I keep the prayer requests centered on Jonah, but tonight I'm asking for prayers for Matt and myself. Without going in to too much detail, I just feel Satan's demons around us like I have only a few times in our marriage. This is a big thing we're trying to wade through - and we're stressed and exhausted and on edge. We need help. But here's the kicker (and I'm only speaking for me here, not for him): I don't really want to talk to the only One who can really give me the help I need. I'm ticked, and I'm pouting. And I don't want to talk about it. I have nothing to say. And frankly, I'm having some trust issues right now. It comes down to this - Right now, I don't trust God enough to pray for a healing. And it pisses me off that I have to pray, "Please God. Make it ONLY just blisters." (You know, the painful, big blisters that leave a wound equivalent to a third degree burn. Make is JUST that.) Should any parent ever have to pray that? Messed up. Wrong. UNFAIR.
I was reading Ephesians 6 tonight (but let me be clear, I am rarely ever reading my Bible these days), but I was looking for the verse that was only vaguely in my head: "Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." That is no joke. We are in the scariest, most horrible war ever imagined. And we are just moseying along like nothing's going on. We take the good as coincidence and take the bad and blame it on God. But this is war, and right now, I feel like I'm on the losing side.
It goes on to talk about the armor of God (you know, the cute suit you drew and labeled in Sunday school when you were a kid). "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Unfortunately, my shield is pretty flimsy, and I've definitely dropped my sword. Most moments, I feel completely defenseless, and offense is out of the question. I'm in the midst of the demons with only my bare skin.
I'm tempted to turn off comments to this post, only because I just can't hear right now the words "inspiration" or "strong" or "example." I am none of those things. I am a stinkin' sinner who has done a whole lot of wrong and is currently reaping a lot of repercussions of those bad choices (no, I'm not talking about God punishing me by giving Jonah EB - I know that is not the case). Please, if you choose to leave a comment, either let it be a prayer for us, for Jonah, or giving God the glory. Because I am sure not praising Him for any of this right now. We are on break. Please, please do not tell me how great I am. You are limited in the view you have of me. There's a lot here that's dark and gross and evil. The only goodness in me is that of Jesus. And right now, I'm not letting it shine out. I want to be radiant. I want to be actively participating (and excited about it) on the winning side. Because I know what side ultimately wins. I'm just too tired and beaten down to help fight. I want to stay here in this corner and be angry.
We are hard pressed on every side...
Perplexed...
Persecuted...
Struck down...
Someday soon I want to be able to honestly say and believe the rest.
...but not crushed
...but not in despair
...but not abandoned
...but not destroyed.
246 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 246 of 246I know how it is to be angry with God to the point where you just can't even find the strength to talk to Him about it. He understands and will be waiting there with open arms when you're ready. Until that time, we, your readers and friends, will lift you up to the Lord while you aren't able to hold yourself up.
I'm sorry you're hurting so much- I understand your frustration- you have every right to say what you need to say because it's ALL valid- I am praying for YOU!
Patrice - can't even BEGIN to understand or fully empathize with everything you are going through, but please know that Michael and I are praying for you, Matt, and Jonah. That's what really matters - not that I fully understand b/c I never will. We love you guys!
The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love; He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
See, I have engraved your name on the palms of my hands. Isaiah 49:16
Praying for you and Matt.
First time commenting:
Father, I ask that you show Patrice and Matt your presence. Please, Lord, show them in physical form, give them strength, comfort...Lord, give them help. Please, carry them in your arms right now, please let them feel your love, give them joy. They love you, they love their Jonah, you love him even more. We don't know why you chose this little guy to have EB but you did. Please use this family for your glory. In Christ's name I pray. Amen.
praying for you! I cannot imagine all you have been through both with Gabe & now Jonah but I know that God is there. It's is ok to be angry, sad, annoyed, let down, what ever! He understands. I have to believe it. I have been through all of those & he is still there for me.
{{hugs}}
A post like this is exactly why I read the blogs I do...both sides....evident
Thank you for voicing spcecifics we can pray for. My mom had an almost fatal and now life altering car accident on 1-2-08 (my daughter's 6th b-day). I found myself needing God, relying on my faith and trust in Him, but at the same time having a hard time really praying/talking with Him. During that time, I prayed the Lord's prayer a lot, and to be honest, that whole "Thy will be done" part was hard to even say. Fortunately, I had a history with God and knew his character and love for us. While I could not form words to pray, I relied on the words He gave us AND I relied on the prayers of others. I clung to the knowledge that others were praying for my mom and us. We were brutally honest on our website. I was worried she would one day read it and be upset with us for sharing so much, but I was also worried that she would never be able to read or understand the journal. SO, we shared, and I relyed on others prayers and the Lord's prayers. Know others are praying for you -- even as you feel you can't and no matter what junk you have done. God still loves you! I know you know this, but sometimes we just need to be reminded. In Him!
Praying for you to find some peace and you are allowed to be mad.
God is trusting, understanding and loving. He sees the agony in your heart, the madness, yet he is faithful. Try not to lose your faith in him. I know it is hard to understand his ways sometime but he loves each and every one of us. I pray for Jonah to be at ease and without pain, I pray for the strength of you and your family and I pray that you never lose sight of the glorifull God above nor your faith.
http://www.southeastcountrywife.blogspot.com/
This is a blog that helped me a lot to understand and go along in bad and difficult moments.
Dealing with pain, being mad towards God...
Bon courage!
I will continue lifting you UP in prayer! I pray that God's equips you with his armor every morning when you awaken from sleep.
I pray for strength in your marriage.
I pray for strength just to get from one minute to the next.
Just one stinkin sinner praying for another. ;)
Please know how you are loved and fought for.
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Ex 14:14
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy–
Jude 25
"I will be your God throughout your lifetime--
until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you.
I will carry you along and save you."
Isaiah 46:4
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us"
1 John 3:1
He is fighting for you.
If we could only see into the spiritual realm, I think it would look something like this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY
Much love from Tn-
Stephanie
Dearest Patrice, This is Sofi from India. You and Jonah are always in our prayers. I'm going though a lot in life and as I prayed God touched me in the most special way though this verse and I know for sure that it is for Jonah too -
"I was crushed... so much so that I despaired even of life, but that was to make me rely not on myself, but on the God who raises the dead." ( 2 Cor. 1:8,9)
big hug from across the oceans with our prayers.
I will continue to pray for all of you. God has a plan!
Patrice-God does not expect you to be more than human-and you are entitled to ANGER-you and Matt had hopes and dreams and a vision of the future-and EB was not in those dreams. You are grieving for Gabe-and for the loss of childhood innocence and an uncertain future for Jonah, for the loss of the sheer joy that you and Matt should be sharing as you watch your child grow, not a carefree joy, but not the stress filled days and sleepless nights you have-and the loss of freedom that you are facing because of the EB restrictions. Platitudes are just that-platitudes. Your situation stinks. You have much to grieve for-yet have to function and meet so many demands-physical and emotional. And, close as you and Matt are, and as much as you love each other-you are not the same person and this experience is not the same for both of you. Nor can you handle it in the same way. Anger and exhaustion magnify everything. I talk to God about you on a regular basis-I will pray that you will come to terms with the guilt you feel over your anger-and that you will be able to allow yourself to feel all that you need to as you revamp your dreams-and that no matter how much stress you and Matt are feeling-and even though it is a wedge right now, that your love will be strong enough to carry you through-and I will-even though you are right-it SUCKS-pray that Jonah experiences only blisters and not worse things. I found this quote-“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there”-I will pray that even though it doesn't feel like it-that eventually God will be in your life in a positive way again-and in the meantime, that you will find comfort in all the friends who are reaching out to you as you struggle.
Gracious Heavenly Father,
I praise You because I know You are Almighty, Holy, All-knowing, and Compassionate.
Please make Your presence very real to Patrice in moments of despair. We all have dark, icky spots in our hearts and souls - but I ask you God, to forgive us of those places & help us hand them over to You. I praise You, Lord, that Jesus covers that with His blood.
Holy Spirit, would you please intercede for Patrice and Matt both when they just don't have the strength or words to do it themselves. We know Lord that spiritual warfare over us is very real, so I ask, Father, that You would send some of Your biggest Warrior Angels to protect Patrice, Matt, and Jonah.
Jesus, I KNOW that You bless people with miracles everyday! Please heal little Jonah's body.
Thank you, Lord, that because of Jesus, we have the privilege of giving our burdens over to You. I pray all of this in love, and in the power of the Holy, precious name of Jesus.
Love, Lorraine
Patrice, I wanted you to know that I have been praying for you two on the hour today and sweet Jonah too.
I've never commented before, but am so moved by your honesty and the love you so clearly have for our God, your husband and your son. Please know that I am praying for you frequently, and that your writing is bringing tremendous glory to our Father who is carrying you on eagle's wings, even when you can't feel it.
Suzy in PA
Hi Mrs Williams, I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. You haven't quit so that does make you strong. Pray in the holy ghost as often as you can...when you don't know what to pray, pray in the holy ghost. I know it's hard but you can't afford to take a break right now. The devil knows that God has big plans for not only the lives of you and your husband, but in Jonah's life also. When things start to get it worse and worse, that's when you know that your blessing is around the corner. The devil knows this and is going to do everything he can to stop it. Don't beat yourself up.Jude 20 says: But you, dear friends, carefully build yourselves up in this most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit, staying right at the center of God's love, keeping your arms open and outstretched, ready for the mercy of our Master, Jesus Christ. This is the unending life, the real life! You can get through this Mrs Williams...I know it!
Love your former spanish student, Latoya Vines
Dear Lord,
I am praying on behalf of a family who is really struggling in a mighty tough situation. Right now they need encouragement and they need your help remembering some things.
Please help them remember that you are not the cause of the turbulent storm they are in, but the lighthouse guiding them through it. Right now, they can't see you through the dark, the waves, the mist, and the fog that sin has dumped on them. The devil is roaring a storm of doubts all around them.
Remind them every time their beautiful little boy smiles or laughs, eats or cries, every bandage change and medicine routine that you are blessing them with this precious gift of sunshine.
Remind them that they are the perfect parents for this little soul whom our sinful world has affected so much. Remind them that you CHOSE them for Jonah. You placed Jonah in their care for a reason. You know that they will teach Jonah about you, how to trust in you and love you. They will know how to train him up in life. You chose them as his perfect parents. Sometimes we lose sight of that, and need your help remembering.
Please calm their troubled hearts, minds, and souls so that they can hear you loud and clear guiding them, together with you through this moment in their life.
You promise to allow no temptation that is not strong enough to get through, but this one seems tough. I am asking you allow a glimpse at the awesome plan you have in store for them.
Remind them that you, too, had to watch your only baby boy suffer. Be their rock, strength, peace, and love. Remind them that you can handle it when they can't. Remind them that you never promised this life on earth would be easy, but that YOU would never let us go through this alone.
Provide them with family and friends that can help provide them with respite...food, help, a shoulder to lean on. Provide the doctors knowledge to continue providing the BEST care for Jonah-- that he may get the chance to learn more about you and your wonderful creation and plan for his life.
I am confident you will answer this prayer because you always do.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
I am praying for peace in your household. God is holding you in the palm of his hand and he loves you dearly.
Just want you to know I read your blog every day because I am praying for you, your husband, and your beautiful little boy.
I care. Be well.
I have followed your blog for a long time. I am very new in my realtionship with the lord. Somtimes I find myself getting discouraged because I read about these heartbreaking situations and yet people are praising God and giving him glory and honestly I just dont understand it. I get angry sometimes and question His path for me and feel guilty about it after reading situations that are a lot worse than mine but these people always seem to have faith. It may not make sense what I am trying to say but its comforting to know you can have faith and still be angry, question, and be frustrated with your situation. You dont have to be "perfect" in faith. This probably isnt making any sense so I guess I'll just end with thank you for being human.
Dear Patrice and Matt,
We have been following your blog since Jonah was born. We have wept with you, prayed with you, rejoiced with you, asked God "WHY" with you, and trusted Him with you. We are childless, so we do not pretend to know what you're going through. But reading your last post, my heart went out to you. Give yourself permission to be just as God made you--human. Even Jesus wept. Even Jesus was tired. Even Jesus got angry when things were not as they should have been. Even Jesus begged His Father to change His fate. Jesus knew the reasons for everything and what the outcome would be, could have stopped them if He'd wanted, and yet still went through it. Given all this...it's OK to be real with God. He's GOT you, and Matt, and Jonah, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Press in to Him any small way you can. Even if it is in desperation, anger, whatever. Press anyway. "If I make my bed in hell, you are there." He is there. Praise Him anyway, even if you're raging at Him with one breath and praising Him the next. (Done it!). You're not praising Him for what's happening. You're praising Him for who He is and was and will be. You will find Him there. I promise you will.
And I promise we are praying for you, for God to bring into your path exactly who and what you need for these times. And know that even though we will probably never meet, your family has touched us and will never be too far from our thoughts.
PS: Jonah is exquisite. You guys did good.
Oh sweet Patrice, Thank you for sharing your heart. I am so burdened for you.
Praying for you...
Patrice & Matt,
I have never commented on a blog but I read your's on a weekly basis just to see how you are doing. Please know that I have been praying and will continue to pray for both of you and Jonah. Please know that during the weak times your brothers and sisters will stand in the gap.
Patrice - coming out of lurkdom as well with tears in my eyes for you. My heart has been burdened for you ever since I found your site. The sufferings in this world sometimes seem too much for me to bear, and I am not even living in a nightmare like you are. Thank you for being brutally honest and yet in your honesty, I see your faith. You see that there is a battle going on. Thankfully, we know that Jesus is our hero...the battle is already won...He has claimed your soul as His and He will not let it go. He loves you and even though your life seems chaotic, and ugly, and hard...He is in control. It's okay to not like what's going on and it's okay to have the emotions you are feeling. But, I just pray that you will always come back to that mustard seed of faith that lies in your heart...to be able to cry out to Jesus and if all you can mutter is "Father" then that's okay. He knows you intimately and He is carrying you close to His heart. I see the longing in your heart for heaven...when all the pain and suffering will be gone. That hope beats stronger in my heart when I am bogged down by this world. In my own times of grief (through infertility and pregnancy loss) I read 2 books that helped me see the heart of God like no other. I would strongly recommend you read them. They are amazing. The names of the books are Shattered Dreams by Larry Crab and The Cry of the Soul by Dan Allendar and Tremper Longman.
Father God, I beg that you send down your power and your mercy on Matt and Patrice. I pray that you remind them of your great love and grace. I pray that you give them incredible strength in this journey and help them to trust in you every step of the way...even when they don't understand or like where you are leading them. I pray you would give them rest and courage. Let them know how much you love them and let them feel your everlasting arms wrapped tightly around them during this difficult time! Amen.
Praying hard for Jonah, you and Matt. Love you!
Umm. I don't have a child who is sick or in pain. I have it pretty good. And as ashamed as I am to admit it, I am in exactly the same place you are with not praying or reading regularly. I want to. I yearn to. But for some reason I can't. I don't know how to get out of this funk. I don't think it's pride because I love Christ with all of my heart, but it has been so easy to put him on the backburner for me. It's so easy to tell someone I'll be praying for you, but then I don't/ or I say a short one in my head. That's not prayer.
We just have to try. I guess. I don't know what else to do. I know it has something to do with the war that is going on in the spiritual realm around us & I am letting the evil one win such a small battle.
Hope you can pray soon. I know it'll make you feel better.
Love your blog and seeing pictures of your precious baby boy.
Thanks for "keepin it real"
Sarah
patrice, we are praying for you! i don't know what you are going through, but admire your honesty. i am not a mom, but know what's it's like to be mad at God. we have tried to concieve for going on 8 years now. i understand that roller coaster of emotions (i live it every month) i know it's ok to be mad at God and that he doesn't punish for past mistakes ( i too felt like i was being punished) i have to trust that he has a greater plan for me. i had to stop living my plan and trust his plan is bigger and better. yes it still hurts and my heart aches, but i wait and listen for what he wants for me. he loves you very much and has big plans for you and your family. i hope you can feel the love surrounding you! love and prayers from arkansas
julie
I read your blog daily. I am praying for you.
Without going into detail, I am at a time of feeling beaten down myself. I have a son with medical challenges too. Nothing like what you are facing, but it is my child and I still hurt for him so much. The post you did about your feelings gave all these people a reason to want to comment. All these comments have helped me somewhat...even though I am still feeling a little beaten down and alone. I have a husband too and he handles things so differently than me that sometimes I feel like he is in denial about the things we have ahead of us with our son but I try so hard to remember that is the evil getting in and I try so hard to put it all in God's hands but I just can't seem to do it. Even through your anger you are helping me. I life up you, Matt and your beautiful Jonah everyday and when I don't see a post from you I worry. I feel like we are kind of in the same boat. I need somewhere to explode my anger too! Just know you are human and God does understand why you are feeling this way. Just please don't keep you back turned on Him. He will always be there for you. No it's not fair and that is something that sucks in this life. I just try to have the hope that one day I will see why.
You make me laugh and everytime I go by a Target I think of you! I need to make a trip there myself to get some sunscreen that only they carry! I can't wait and I will be thinking of you and Jonah.
Your warriors are here for you. Put down your armor and let us fight for you for awhile.
much love
Leesa
Thank you for your honesty. We also had a daughter who was stillborn and I have questions that I'll never understand here on earth. She would be five next month and I still struggle with anger at God at times. I'm praying for you right now.
Lori Washburn
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as we share in your sufferings, so also we share in your comfort... Then many will give thanks on your behalf for the gracious favor granted in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Cor. 1: 3-7,11
Our hope for you, Patrice, is firm. Because when you and your family are suffering, so are we. And when you and your family are comforted, so are we. When you can't find the words to pray, we will find the words and pray for you. The prayers of many are with you.
My heart is so full for you and Matt. We have gone throug similar things in our lives. We lost our first son and our third. God blessed us with two who are grown now and gave us 5 grandchildren. One living son also had many problems--health and learning. So we have had to fight many battles. I have felt just like you do. "Give it to God" is so easy to say but when you are one going throught these things, you have a hard time doing this. Please put Satan in his place. An older lady gave me this advise. Tell Satan that you are God's child and he has no right to bother you in Jesus' name. Now you may have to be saying this everytime you turn around BUT soon Satan get tired and stops for a while. When he comes back tell him again who you are, a child of God with throne rights. I know of you and Matt through a person that works with Matt. I am located out of NC but where God is, is one BIG place. Mary
It is perfectly ok to feel down, to be angry, to just be plain mad! If you weren't then there would be something seriously wrong with you. The good news is that you can identify your emotions and then learn to cope with them. It's ok, girl! Stomp around, yell and scream! Then walk back into the house and kiss that sweet baby! You will feel much better!
Patrice,
I am glad you are honest about our condition. We are sinners, no denying it. Your blog reminded me of how Paul sometime felt. The Bible says even what we consider as our good acts, are filthy to Him. It truly is Jesus on whom we must depend to be seen as holy.
Like so many others who have posted, I would not begin to think I can relate to your circumstances. I do find it interesting how many others are in the Bible with whom I cannot relate. Job, Daniel, Joseph to name a few. I can relate to Job's wife when she suggests he curse God and die. But whether I can relate or not, I know God has them there for a reason. So, I refuse to put them on a pedestal; I am certain they had raging doubts and despair like I have never known. What I do try to model from them is a simple stubborness (I like to think it's faith but I cannot) that I can trust God's character from all the examples He has shared with us. Some days (or weeks and months) being is the best I can muster. I realize that there are many things in life with which I sometimes have to use the same approach. Hard to say I always feel the same about my spouse but I am always glad, at a later time, that I was stubborn to hang in there.
All that being said, be stubborn, be angry, be thankful you have so many friends willing to sit (or blog) with you when nothing seems right or fair.
Know we are all praying for both you and Matt.
Patrice,
You are describing exactly how I feel sometimes myself. It's hard when you have children with special needs. Don't feel like you are the only person who has these days. I'm with you sister.
Hoping for better tomorrows.
Sandy
Patrice
I have been through the dark, the valley, my walk was not your walk, my journey not yours. My love for God never waivered but my sadness and anger welled up and lashed out at my husband. We did in our own clumsy way make it through. It was nothing beautiful or pretty. Kind of like watching someone skate that has never tried. No olympic athletes here.
We DID make it through and you will too! I am prayig for your whole family and support members. This is NOT easy and plain NOT fair. ...... But alas life is not and we are nver promised "fair". Our journeys can mold and define us.
Take to heart the fact that Jesus DOES love you, he is crying with you.
Praying for the light.......
to God be the glory, for ever and ever amen.
Whew...I'm in some of those same places myself with my life. Thanks for sharing your words and feelings so openly and honestly.
Just know you are not alone, and that God still loves you and is working your soul(s) in a way I can't even began to describe. There's a reason and a purpose believe me for where you are emotionally, and there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel....just keep moving where you are like you are because it's ok. God has already taken care of you and everything that is you. He knows exactly where you are because He's there with you always, and behind you and in front of you.......
I was on the brink of atheism, before He was really revealed to me -I could not ignore, but I am still being quiet or I don't want to talk about it, and angry, ....,and.....so, now I have realized I'm still not where He desires for me to be, but that it's ok even with my anger, frustrations, and stresses because it's where He needs me to be for whatever purposes He's trying to work and reveal for/in me, and it ain't easy because evil has power to, but God has already overcome that. You are putting on your armor of God now in this battle.
I just want to extend my compassions to you and heartfelt prayers for all that is You.
Prayers and faith are all well and good but I really wish you would get yourself some medical help in the form of medication/antidepressant. There is no reason for you to have to suffer. This coming from someone who is on medication. It's not worth it to wait for prayers to be answered when you can just take a pill for a little while.
I just want you to be happy. :-)
Feel free to contact me if you ever want to chat.
Lord I pray that you would surround Matt and Patrice with your overwhelming love and comfort, God in the midst of physical exhaustion would you bring them closer together. God I rebuke exhaustion, confusion, frustration, and the lies of the enemy that are surrounding them right now. God allow them opportunites to bless one another even in their own personal times of pain. Give them words of love for each other and bring them together closer than before. God thank you that you gave them each other, because you knew what these years looked like far before they did and you knew that they needed each other to make it thorugh. Would you please filll the doors of that household with you, your word, your spirit. May they know you are there. God touch this precious gift Jonah, touch this baby and give him physical rest so that matt and patrice may sleep at night too, God bless this precious, precious family and remove the enemy's lies.
I just found your blog today and had to reply to this one. Our first son was born prematurely and lived 3 days. That was almost 16 years ago. We were blessed with 4 more children. 3 boys and a girl. She has horrible, horrible eczema. I'm not going to say that it is worse than what your Jonah has because it simply isn't. But to wake up at night to find her scratching her skin off? It is the worst thing in the world. No medicine works for more than 2 weeks, until her skin has time to react to it. Her hands and feet are so scarred already, and she isn't 3 yrs old yet. I have such a hard time understanding why God lets children suffer. I couldn't bring myself to go to church this past Sunday because I just couldn't raise His name in praise. I want to know WHY but noone can answer me. All I know is that I have to have Faith. We, as in you and I, just have to find (and keep) the faith. All I can do is hope that God understands that my heart hasn't healed from losing my son and watching my precious daughter suffer. I haven't prayed in a while, I'm ashamed to say, but when I do again, please know that you, Matt, and Jonah will be in my prayers!!!
Post a Comment