gabe's service

Here are some pictures of Gabe's service. It was absolutely perfect. I really think it brought Matt and me some peace. Matt even got up and said a few words. He wanted to speak on Gabe's behalf. To us, he was already our son. He had a personality. We knew him. But it's like Matt said, if we had to choose between spending time here on earth with Gabe or up in heaven, we both choose heaven, hands down.

Having him here was the greatest 37 weeks of our lives. We wouldn't trade it for anything, and we can't wait to finally spend some more time with him when we see him in heaven.

His body is resting in a beautiful place, overlooking a pond. We go every few days and say hi and feed the geese. It's peaceful there, and we are glad to have a place we can go to feel closer to him. We know that is only his physical body, but it still gives us some comfort to be there.

Please keep praying for us. We have hours of okay and hours that are very hard. But God is good, and He remains faithful. We know that we will get through this, and that with time He will heal our broken hearts. Thanks again to all of you who have called, emailed, sent cards or come to spend time with us. We are overwhelmed by your amazing love.

missing gabe

Hey all,

Well, since I last posted a lot has happened. I stopped feeling the baby move sometime between Sunday afternoon and Monday midday. I left work early on Monday, and Matt met me at the doctor's office. After waiting a while, they hoooked me up to a fetal monitor and could not find the heartbeat. They then took me back for an ultrasound, where it was confirmed that his heart was no longer beating.

I checked into the hospital on Monday evening around 5pm and gave birth to Gabriel Matthew (Gabe) around 3 am Tuesday morning. Of course we are devestated and heart-broken, but are confident that the support of friends, family, and, most importantly, our faith in God, our healer, will carry us through this difficult time. We're still praising him in this storm.

The service for our Gabe will be Friday morning at 11am at Gardens of Memory Cemetery in Walkertown. We would love to have any of you there, but of course our greatest request is that you petition our Father to give us peace and hope to carry us through all of this. We know that it will never stop hurting, but do trust that Jesus will give us that peace that passes all understanding, and that with time it will get easier.

We know that Gabe is with Jesus now, and that's got to be a lot cooler than living here with us. We miss him very much, and look forward to the day we'll finally get to see him smile in heaven.

Thanks to all of you who have already been and will continue to shower us with calls, emails, and messages of hope. But thanks most of all for the prayers. We have definitely been feeling them.

the nursery

Here are some pictures of the nursery. I don't know how clear the color is, but the walls are teal and the furniture is white. It was Kim's first, and we are very thankful to have it. It's perfect. Matt wanted sports bedding (of course), but I wanted something neutral that we can use down the road if we have a girl someday. I won. Plus, all the sports stuff would not have gone with the teal walls, and there was NO WAY I was repainting any walls. We did enough painting when we moved in last July.

Matt wanted me to include this last one. I think this is what he would like the baby to look like. I would rather not have a big head, butt chin, sun-burnt, white-haired baby in a black and gold tux, but whatever.

Besides baby preparation, we haven't been up to a lot. I'm working almost every free minute trying to get lesson plans done for when I'll be out. It's very tedious and time-consuming. I would rather work hard now than have to be worrying about school when the baby comes.

I had a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and they say everything looks great. I've been having really bad leg cramps at night, so my maw maw told me to put an unwrapped bar of soap under the fitted sheet. I tried it (I was desperate), and it actually seems to help a little bit. I wonder who thought to try that in the first place. It sure doesn't seem like a logical remedy. Who thought to associate soap with the alleviation of leg cramps? It also seems like a glass of milk before bed helps a little too. I looked leg cramps up in my pregnancy book, and after a few lame-o suggestions, it said, "The best thing for alleviating leg cramps is having the baby." Um, thanks a lot. Very helpful.

Well, only three weeks to go if he's punctual. We'll keep you posted. :)